Alrighty, I don't have to say much, do I? It's a prologue to one of my stories... Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, please? Thanks. i'd love advice, also!


Once, a long time ago, there was peace. That time is long gone, and I know. I'm being reminded of that all the time, constantly, never ceasing. Chaos is in the universe, it seems it will never end.

I know all about it. I've been reading ancient and new papers, parchments, books, anything I can. I've learned most, and I've learned knowledge is worth much more than physical training.


Yes, the world is troubled, well, no, actually, the universe is troubled. There's something, making all life forms seem infested with this evil, nasty force. It may be a being, or just evil. You can never tell. In short, it's not good, it's bad. I need to change that. Forever. I have faith. I know the Father will help me. I believe, in the future, I will rise again, I will defeat the evil, never
again will it show it's face, the world will be calm, peace will reside. I may have just started, but I feel it in my bones. I may not be far now.

But what of me?
Am I safe?

I might forever ask that question.

Forever.




AAAAAAaaaand that basically sums it up.

It's my new story called Forever.
*sigh*

I need to finish my other stories lol.

Anyways, thank you so much if you helped!

~neo~


Ciao, guys

I Personally think I has protestation, So far I get its about.... someone. It doesn't make me WANT to read it though, If I look at a book I really need to know if it will be good or not, Maybe  a little more information in the intro.

You think it has protestation?

You should read it again. Try to understand the words more. xD

I said, the universe is troubled.

It's not just about someone.

I don't really get what you mean.

So, you've taken a writing class? It'd be nice if you gave me advice. ^^

Oh, and also, could you rate it? on a scale of one to ten? ^^

I'm thinking of making it into a comic and a story too, so yaaaay.

Thanks!

( Sorry, I hate writing with my mom's phone. Potential, It changed it to protestation. Gosh this is the last time I try to write with that thing.)

( I would give it...... A.... seven. I have not taken writing classes, if I have I would have told you. I am just going on my personal feeling, sorry for sounding like a know-it-all. )

I know the feeling (soybean lols)

Oh, you're not sounding like a know it all. Thank you for rating!
Sorry if it's too vague for you.
I like mysterious starts, and you get more information as the story goes on.
I've only taken one writing class when I was 6, and, I don't remember it, so lol.

( Well Mae, Your a wonderful writer. I like the vague thing, but I am dieing to know more about the story. SO HURRY, I a so curious XD )

lols ok. (Don't mean to be rude but you can Rmail me if you want to chat, ok? Thanks!)
I think I'll sketch out some early pics of the story and post em on here. ^^

Ok, thank you. I will definitely take that into consideration and make some drastic edits. ^^
Thanks for your time! It's helped me a lot.

neo~