I need someone to read this and tell me what they think, is okay to be harsh, this is for a book I'm writing so it has to be great. The whole story is about a place called Moonsea and this poem tells about its creation, kinda I'm not done with it yet... Here goes.

Moonsea

 

Day One:

Larksong sings, yet no one to sing it

Snow may fall, though they still fear

Dawns pa.ss and still no sign

Things are aroused, and the silent bell tolls

 

Day Two:

Dark are the skys, his skys that show no mercy

Bloody are the grounds, littered with blood but none

Empty are the hearts, for they have not their own

Done are the days of creation, but not tis the end

 

Day Three:

Music chases clouds away, far beyond the sea

Life drains dark from the moon, so she may see the light

Fidelity reins, as is our master

Peace now claims the Moonsea, from its wrought endeavor

 

Day Four:

 

The Best writer in Rescreatu is Shao ^_^

Thankies so much Er *hugs* but is not even close to done yet, is going to be beginning of my story Moonsea.

This is interesting. And different.