Bright Light


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7650

2:23am Jul 9 2011

Normal User


Posts: 622

 

Bright Light

 By Mars

You might just think the light must always be bright

 But sometimes thing must call for a fight

Even though you think your going the right way

 Regret will always find you someway

Now you can go on as dandy as ever

 But think about what you committed forever

 Running from hurt will not make you strong

 You must think about how your living on

Now think about what you know is right

Don't just follow your dream bright light.

 

Usally when I am sad and stuff I write these as I just wrote a song about the confusion of this world. I need comments to help me with my poetry and song writing. Here is my song I wrote:

Why does it have to be

It used to be the reflection in the water, the reflection in your eyes, that shows your true self and the way that your sould flys. It used to be the reflection in the sunlight, the reflection in the sky, that made you think about the way that you shine. Why does ot have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the water isn't pure and filled with love.-pause-Why does it have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the sun isn't filled with happieness.

It used to be the reflection in the water, the reflection in your eyes, that shows your true self and the way that your sould flys. It used to be the reflection in the sunlight, the reflection in the sky, that made you think about the way that you shine. Why does ot have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the water isn't pure and filled with love.-pause-Why does it have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the sun isn't filled with happieness.It used to be, a smile that made someone speacil.But now all it is, is the way hat you look and all your wealth. The reflection in the water, the reflection in your eyes, the way that your soul flyed! The reflection in the sunlight, the reflection in the sky, thw way you shined! So I guess the reflection doesn't matter anymore. And I guess the water isn't pure,anymore. So I guess the sun isn't filled with happieness! And the way that you smile...is just a greeting.

It used to be the reflection in the water, the reflection in your eyes, that shows your true self and the way that your sould flys. It used to be the reflection in the sunlight, the reflection in the sky, that made you think about the way that you shine. Why does ot have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the water isn't pure and filled with love.-pause-Why does it have to be! The way that it is. When the world makes no sence and the sun isn't filled with happieness.

 

 

When a smile doesn't mean anything....anymore.

Please comment and help me to be a better writer. And if you think I am that good I will make you a peom if you like.:) 

 



(－_－) zzZ
Jylaz366

8:53pm Jul 9 2011

Normal User


Posts: 232

Poems don't always have to rhyme, you know.



If you can't smile, nod AND smile. ^^
7650

9:32pm Jul 9 2011

Normal User


Posts: 622
Sea~ Yeah I know, I read yours. Your really good and you never told me!


(－_－) zzZ
7650

10:37pm Jul 9 2011

Normal User


Posts: 622

Just made this one it's a story:

The two men walked into the dark,eerie room. It had seemed that the windows were blocked out with wood panels, they layered the walls.

    "So this is...the magic room?" Sean asked

    "No, it's the pie room, of course it's the magic room!" Dr.Jon replied "Smell the magic in here,boy."

The man took a whiff of the dusty air. Coughing a little.

    "Smells more like rotten food then magic." Sean critized

Immeditaly Dr.Jon shooshed him as they came upon a big black chest.

    "Stand back,kid." Dr.Jon said 

Sean hurryed back 5 feet trying to peek over. Dr.Jon then pulled open the great chest and hopped in excitment and grabbed the gift from inside the chest and bringing it to his chest. Dr.Jon turned around to see Sean,

           "This will help you with your Magical Strenght move." Dr.Jon smiled

          "Really!Let me have it!" Sean demanded.

Dr.Jon then passed him the teasure, a plain, yellow banana.

          "This is a joke,right?"Sean said bluntly

         "Why would it be?" Dr.Jon asked confused.

         "It's a banana, what does it do?" Sean said frustrated Dr.Jon pulled the banan out of his hands and angrly opend it. And handed to Sean.

           "Okay, you opened it....so speacil!' Sean said angry.

            "Do you know what are in these things, it's like a stick of nurtrinent and vitemens, it will help you to be stornger!" Dr.Jon replied "Now eat it" He said poking it.

 Then Sean pushed the banana close to Dr.Jon saying "I think I'll pass."

End

Okay I know it sucked and it was puncutated horrible and everything was spelled wrong. I just want feed back on the story line. 



(－_－) zzZ
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