|
5:04pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
"Loop, pull, tighten. Loop, pull, tighten." The little girl did what she was told- or at least as close as it gets, in silence. Attempting her first Noose wasn't as easy as she thought, even with her older brother undoing and redoing the knot in her face. Talking didn't seem important in this scenario, just concentration. "No, not like that, like this!" She watched intently as he knotted the piece of rope with small, swift motions. Nodding, she pulled on the loose end and the knot unraveled, now a crumpled, slightly damp piece of string. Working carefully as if handling an injured animal, she slowly coiled the piece into a Noose in slow movements. "There, now you got it. Try that again." Tired of doing this, the girl set her rope down and gave her brother a blank stare. "Can't I do it when my fingers stop bleeding?" She whined, finally speaking. "No." "Why not?" "Because this will be vital in the future. Now put some more bandages on your hand and do it properly twenty more times." She groaned as she wound the white fabric around her index finger, oblivious to the fact that it will, in fact, save her life years from now. Like it? Hate it? R&R, please. ^^ And geez, this is my first real piece of writing, so you don;t need to be so harsh. ;c
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
5:43pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,685
|
Inna, you........ are a terrific writer. 8D *dies* Write more or else i'll stalk you. D<
Don't read my sig. I said, don't read my sig. You're still reading it, aren't you? .......... STOP READING IT. D:<
|
|
6:00pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
Hahah, don't want to be stalked.....o___o At least not by Sar. -runs off to Paint to make more unnecessary chapter banners-
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
6:18pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
Why do I even make these?
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
6:41pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,685
|
Inna, you are insane. You like..... can't stop making banners or something. xDDDD
Don't read my sig. I said, don't read my sig. You're still reading it, aren't you? .......... STOP READING IT. D:<
|
|
6:46pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
Run. That was the only thought on my mind right now. The thud of my footfalls on the forest floor are enough to drive me for the next fifteen minutes or so, until I finally have to rest. I swing my backpack off my shoulders, throwing it on the nearby ground. I have five, maybe ten minutes until my pursuer can ensnare me. Enough time to catch up and reorder my possessions before I have to take off again. As I sort through my pack, my hands come across a few things I can afford to dump, but I keep most of my items. Flint, some dried beef, a canteen of water, rope, two knives, iodine, a sleeping bag and a circular piece of plastic, about three feet in circumference is all I have left. I'll need to do some hunting later, even set some snares maybe, but only once I find a suitable shelter. I hear the soft sound of footsteps in the distance-his footfalls are much heavier than mine-about thirty seconds after I pack up. He's much faster than I thought. Having no choice but to keep on going, I start sprinting again, looking back every thirty seconds. As soon as he's out of sight, I breath a heavy sigh of relief, which sounds a bit strange mixed with my panting. When I finally think I will be able to take a pit stop, I trip over something. "Ow, oh, ow. Seriously, can't you see me lying here?" Turns out of be someone. S/N: Yeah, I know that's a really bad end to the chapter, but it's not my fault. xDD;
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
6:46pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
That is SOOOO not true! D:<<<
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
7:25pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,685
|
Inna, MOAR. D<
Don't read my sig. I said, don't read my sig. You're still reading it, aren't you? .......... STOP READING IT. D:<
|
|
7:34pm Sep 30 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
:c I'm not an automaton. -sulks off to write-
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
8:01pm Sep 30 2010 (last edited on 2:54pm Oct 1 2010)
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
It's a wonder how well he can conceal himself. His body is well concealed by twigs, branches, dirt, and other natural substances. In fact, when he blinks, it seems like he just vanishes. What with his dark hair and eyes, he almost seems like a male tree Nymph. But Nymphs are strictly female, and are creatures of myths, so that didn't seem very likely. "Well? Are you just going to sit there and stare or are you going to say something?" More silence. I was too busy staring to actually put my vocal cords into use, so I guess I went with the 'sitting there' option. "Yeah, I suppose you're just going to stay there all day. Great." After a long pause, he asked, "What's your name?" I have three choices: One, run away. Possible, but cowardly and stupid. Two, keep quiet. I would really love to go with this option, but it's still cowardly. That leaves only three. "Alexis. Alexis Erabella Thorne." "So she finally speaks. I'm Chase. I as.sume we're both running from the same thing?" He doesn't mention it's name. Of course. I nod, feeling my throat tighten up again. Great, now he's making me cry. I bl
ink a few times to shut out any tears, then stand up. "And I take that as a yes. Now will you help me out or what?" He asks too many questions. I roll my eyes and giggle a bit, then hold out a hand. He takes it and hoists himself up, brushing off any dirt. "Allies?" He asks. "Allies." I agree. A chapter of questionable quality......
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
3:34pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 5,835
|
I like it! I think that the chapters should be a little longer, but this is coming from someone who makes chapters way too long.;D I think it can be a little more deive...I like the first chapter the most because the second one to me has too much talking and needs a little more actions and stuff. Other then that it is pretty good I think.XD |
|
3:50pm Oct 1 2010 (last edited on 3:52pm Oct 1 2010)
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
I know. That's why I wrote 'A chapter of questionable quality' at the bottom. xD Lol. My chapters get shorter and shorter the more I write. x___x So this is how I work. Annoying freshmen + stupid peers + Tyler + Starbucks = hatred = really really mad Inna + urge to write + angry Inna fuel (?) = OMG IT'S A PIECE OF LITERATURE 8D = Ew, my fuel is almost all used up. Get it?
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
3:58pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 5,835
|
Lol. Yea, I'm the opposite. My chapters usually start off 10 pages and then I end up going to 20 pages because I can't seem to end a capter.8( Wow...I actually do get that.O_O |
|
4:03pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
Poor girl. 8c I can't end chapters either. I just use cliffhangers. xD OMG SOMEONE ACTUALLY GETS ME <3333333
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
4:08pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 5,835
|
Lol. Yay! I actually get someone!<3 Continue! I want to know what happens!>D |
|
4:10pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
Yay! <3 Lol. I've been planning to. xD -writewrite-
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
4:18pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 5,835
|
Lol. Okay, can't wait to read it.XD
|
|
4:57pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
We work better together. Get more sleep. Ration out our food and supplies. Chase sets up shelters, something that I can never do. I hunt. We don't speak. Not in words, at least. Four days into our alliance, the question slips out. "What does it..." I trail off. I don't need to finish my question, he already knows what I'm getting at. "You mean he. And..." Chase pokes the fire with his stick a bit before continuing. "he wants me because of this stupid thing" -he pulls out an amulet form under his shirt- "I think." "Just because of a necklace?" I feel I shouldn't prod it further, but curiosity's getting the better of me, like always. Chase say nothing, just takes it off and throws it into the fire. I stare at him for the next few seconds, until he jerks his head towards it, and, realizing I haven't even set eyes on the flame before, turned my head. The blazes are gone, ice taking it's place. I stare in wonder, escaping the awkward silence that traps him. Chase clears his throat, and I drag my consciousness back to him. I expect him to change the subject, or leave, or do something other than laugh. But he does. "You should see your face," he says. "It's like...someone hit you over the head with a piece of plastic." His ex
pression shifts and he pokes the miniature iceberg in front of him. "That's not all. Whenever I touch glas.s, it shatters. Just like that. Nothing I can do. Though it has proved helpful at times. I can use some sort of telekinesis on it, as soon as i t comes in contact with me." More silence. Chase raises an eyebrow. Again, neither of us have the need to speak. "Well..." I flex my fingers. Spreading them out, I thrust my fingertips towards the ground, slowing raising it. I bring up with my fingers a wall of earth, then all at once collapse my hand. The wall of dirt and greenery doesn't budge, though. This is usually the time to be triumphant, but we aren't. None of us are, once they find out. Chase nods at it. "Impressive." He said. I twirl my fingers around a lock of my hair. Blonde, like mother. The silence has returned, though it doesn't last long. "Come on," Chase said with a sigh, tossing the flint at me. I instinctively catch it. "you have to make more fire." Please note that this chapter is as pleasant as it's gonna get. o__o And that this story is NOT a romance. ;c Just had to say that. With the boy-girl pairing and all. xD
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
5:04pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 5,835
|
It is longer and I think it is a little more diive...And the talking and actions are pretty even. Good job!:D
|
|
5:09pm Oct 1 2010
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,914
|
^^' I spent forever trying to come up with an idea of what they were going to do...FAIL.
Flashbacks, warm nights,
Almost left behind.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time.
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
|
|
