My time on this Earth has been filled with many encounters and countless people. Friends, family, casual acquaintances. All of these people have brought about both positive and negative emotions, and I have felt great love for many of these people. But I must admit there is one soul that I have come to hold dearest to my heart, someone I trust, and love completely and unconditionally. Many of you may roll your eyes at the answer, but I have gotten to the point of no longer caring about the approval of others; all I do care about is my Rowen (Or Rochelle, to most of you, or Heirii). When you feel such an intense need to protect someone from all of the danger and ill-intention in the world, you know something special is at work. When you find yourself trying to think of new ways to make that someone laugh, or even just smile a little, figure out a new technique to bright about that high-cheeked, rosy blush, there is something different about this person. Missing them before they have fully left you, finding yourself with them in your dreams. Yes, it does sound a bit like a cultish obsession, but the written word can only convey so much. A deep and fulfilling happiness fills me whenever I am with her, the kind that brings about shivers and butterflies and giddy high-pitched laughs. And this is all before even being close to them.

I am in love with Rowen. She is, for me, perfect in all tangible and conceptual ways. Her beauty, humor, intelligence. I feel more comfortable around her than anyone else, trust her with my life, and would throw mine down for her in a heartbeat. We compliment each other; you simply cannot have one without the other and, if we were to be stripped away, I know that I would be left with less than what I had to begin with, before my relationship with her began. We seem sometimes to share one heart, one mind, one soul, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is always worrying about things. Upsetting me, afraid I’m not absolutely content. She has sacrificed a great deal to be with me; the closeness of her family primarily. From the beginning, the connection she had I had grew, and as it did, a great strain on her relationship with her family mounted, and has virtually torn apart. I have forever to make this up to her; a great deal of this gap in closeness is because of me, and it is sometimes hard to live with knowing this, even when she claims it is what she wants, that /I/ am what she wants. Many people have said we are too young and naïve to be sure of anything, to even comprehend the concept of love, but I believe that is a mistake.

It is also a mistake to think someone can write about the person they love without being sentimental. It is, I daresay, an impossible feat. If you truly love that person, how can you possibly write about them without some ion of affection seeping through. I don’t even think I will try. Because, you see, when I think of Rowen, a rush of /good/ comes over me. A very ‘right’ feeling. Surely, the concept of two girls, two /teenage, HIGHSCHOOL/ girls together in such a way is looked down upon and often scoffed. “It’s just a phase, an experiment.” At one point it may have been. Admittedly, we had an off-period of being apart, of thinking things over. The idea was we were too good of best friends to be romantic when, in reality, we were too good of friends to /not/ be romantic. And I am not ashamed of it. Not one day of my life have I regretted my choice. Of course, in the beginning, there were doubts. Was this really who I was, what I wanted, the image I wanted to give off? Time spent with this young woman, though, has proven that there is nothing bizarre or satanic or even awkward about being-oh yes, I’m really going to say it-lesbian (well, technically bisexual, but my partner of choice is a woman). It is not a madhouse of catty behavior and continuous lust or dressing like a man or any of the stereotypical faces. To give us such a mask is like creating the picture that all girls love dresses, pink, sparkles, ponies, and Edward Cullen. Parish the thought! We are /people,/ life-loving people, who have simply decided we want something a little different. There is tickling, sharing clothes, laughing, playful arguing, all very normal and functional things. I am happy, and I am in a constant state of hoping she is happy as well, for I live to please, love, and be with her, guide her when she ventures astray, and forgive her when she wanders off of the path of righteousness.

And tie her shoes when she’s being lazy <3