Poetic (supposedly) Writings Of A Person


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YoursTruly

7:26pm Jul 15 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Hello. I would like to use this thread to write poetry (or, as some might call it, the mangled remains of something). Please give some constructive critiscm so I can grow better.



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

7:43pm Jul 15 2011 (last edited on 7:44pm Jul 15 2011)

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Posts: 3,809

Eyes of ruby, set in a surface chalky white,

Withstanding searing heat and showers of ice,

For a thousand years this statue has stood,

And yet, its snow white teeth remain, still stained with blood. 

 

Once a proud beast running wild and free,

Now trapped, unable to breathe.

Imprisoned in a tomb of stone.

Destined to live eons, alone.

 

Replaying memories of freedom.

Despising what it has become.

Wishing, hoping, more than once...

It hadn't done.

What it was told to do.

 

Is it really so different? Really so strange?

Reliving what it could have done, again and again?

Regretting small stumbles leading up to that fatal mistake....

Its current being, an empty shell, fake.

 Sometimes, we all become this, no matter what we may believe.

Wondering what we could have done differently.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
reinabella

7:47pm Jul 15 2011

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Posts: 1,874
<3 LOVE



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dialga2palkia

8:48am Jul 16 2011

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Posts: 1,910
whoa. 0_0.  i love this. it expresses feelings. wow. it's just amazing!!!



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YoursTruly

4:04pm Jul 16 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Really? You like it? Aww, thanks guys! I've been feelin kinda trapped lately, so I wrote this. Thanks for the positiveness!



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

4:25pm Jul 16 2011

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Posts: 3,809

Small, clear crystals we shed from our eyes,

Revealing to others how we feel inside.

Streaming down our cheeks to our mouths,

Salty water flavoured by pain trying to get out.

Why is it we shed these small, clear crystals of hurt?

Is it to announce to others that we need comfort?

Or is it quite simply our pain trying to escape,

Releasing anger, unhappiness, hate.

Do we do it to set free all of our fears?

Why is it, I ask, do we shed tears?




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

11:29am Jul 17 2011 (last edited on 9:54pm Jul 17 2011)

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Posts: 3,809

Eyes of a brilliant blue

Tinged with a violet hue.

Hair as black as night.

Voice that turns darkness to light.

All this inside of you.

Trying to break through.

A soul so kind and loving.

And yet, you think you're nothing.

Don't listen to them; don't listen to me.

Don't make yourself believe what others believe.

Hold your own.

Don't wish you'd known.

Don't let them bring you down.

They're the ones on the ground.

They're not the ones, touching the sky.

You're the angel, flying high.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
Arrow

3:04pm Jul 17 2011

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Posts: 3,828

Yours, I got a bit teary-eyed when I read the one about Tears. <3 That was absolutely beautiful.

----

With the lastest one, on the bold your, it's the wrong one.
Your indicates possession while you're indicates the conjunction 'You are'.

You're the angel, flying high meaning You are the angel, flying high.

Hope I helped. ^^;






hello my name is elder price
YoursTruly

3:07pm Jul 17 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Shadow, thank you so much. All these positive comments really mean a lot to me.



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

3:42pm Jul 17 2011

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Posts: 3,809

Your eyes get an extra twinkle;

The sides of your mouth get creased and wrinkled;

Your pearly whites shine;

All this happens at the same time;

Every single time you smile.

Just a little one about a friend of mine who has the best smile.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

9:03pm Jul 17 2011

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Posts: 3,809

This was inspired by an interesting conversation in the sb today about captivating wild animals.

Looking through these bars that you use to try and keep me contained.

I hear my brethren calling for me, feeling my pain.

The beautiful, silver disc that is the moon taunts me.

I am trapped in this iron box, while the moon stays forever free.

I am a free spirit, I tell you! Born in the wild!

I'm not some dog you can tame, I'm natures child!

Why did you capture me? So you could act tough?

I am not some mongrel that looks at you and woofs!

You cannot win my love by giving me food and dog treats;

I'll fool you, till one day you release me, and realise I'm forever beast!

I was born to run wild, to have my heart beat harder than any human could know.

You didn't need to capture me; you could've let me go.

As I sit here, staring out at the shining stars.

I wonder how long I've sat here; minutes or hours?

And I realise, you'll never let me go.

With this new knowladge I now know,

I cannot go on. I cannot live like this.

I shall never eat again; Soon, very soon, I'll meet Deaths tender kiss.

I'll be wild, forever wild, living in a cage isn't enough.

I'll be free soon; I'll be a wild, spirit wolf.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

9:53pm Jul 17 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Just saw your comment, shadow. Dunno how I missed it, I think I though it was your siggy or summit. Thanks, fixed now.



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

10:26am Jul 19 2011

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Posts: 3,809

As you hold me close to you, I can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

I know something is wrong, even though you do your best

To hide it.


As you say goodbye to me, I can see tears glisten in your eyes.

You cannot hide these things from me, there is no disguise

I wouldn't see.


''Whats wrong?'' I ask, certain you can hear the pain in my voice.

''Nothing.'' You smile sweetly, and its clear you've made your choice

Not to tell me.


I go to my mothers house, and tell her that you came over again.

That it was just like the last time, how you looked in pain

and there's nothing I can do.


She walks over to me, sits down and holds my hand.

She asks me, ''Jackie, are you sure you saw him again?''

Like I'm crazy.


''Of course? Who else could it be?'' She looks at me and looks worried.

''Jackie, don't you remember?'' I stand up and act hurried.

She's crazy, I decide.


''Jackie, sit down. Todd is gone. He died two months ago''

I sit down, dumbstrook, remembering what happened. ''No!''

I scream.


''Jackie, this always happens. Every week on this day.

''You come to my home, sit down and talk to me, and do you know what you say?''

I shake my head.


''You tell me Todd looked sad when you saw him just before.''

I shake my head tearfully; I can't bear anymore.

Am I crazy?


Two months ago Todd jumped in the sea,

All he left was a note which read 'Sorry'

I am going crazy.


I get up and walk out. This is a sign, I decide.

''Where are you going?'' My mother asks, she looks about to cry.

''To see Todd.''


She just shakes her head, opens the door.

She thinks I'm crazy, the truth is much worse.

I'll see you, Todd.


I go to the cliff, look down at the sea.

Remembering all that was you and me.

And I write a letter.


'I couldn't live without Todd. I'm sorry.'

Soon, Todd. Soon, it will be you and me.

And I jump.




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
AliceDowntheRabbitHole

3:51pm Jul 20 2011

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Posts: 388
D: Your peoms are so... sad! Like seriously! Theyre really really amazing but they make me teasr up (but that just means they're more amazing) you really convey a lot of feeling in them. 



YoursTruly

5:05pm Jul 20 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Alice- Thanks. I try to tell people how I feel with my poems. The last one, though, was just a mini-story based on one I wrote a while ago but go lost. Again, thank you.



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
dialga2palkia

9:54pm Jul 26 2011

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Posts: 1,910
i love your poems! i like the tears poem the best. really great! keep up the good work!



MothKingEloth on FlightRising\r\n\r\ntwilightGuardian on The Final Outpost\r\n\r\nmothkingeloth on Tumblr
Lillyblossom

12:33am Jul 31 2011

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Posts: 65
Good, but sad. They make me kinda sad too-or maybe I was already sad, and the let the sad come out. Maybe its a good thing its out. Your poems are really good. :)



Love isn't like a fruit-sweetest when it's new. Love is forever bright and fresh, IF it's love that's true...♥
YoursTruly

6:46am Aug 1 2011

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Posts: 3,809
Thanks guys! I like to display my feelings with poetry. ^_^ Its one of the only things that works for me.



Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
YoursTruly

7:04am Aug 1 2011

Normal User


Posts: 3,809

Colour 

I've never seen colours before. You probably think this strange, but it's true.

I've never felt love until I met you.

Everything in my world is grey.

I get used to the names of colours day after day.

I know that violets are blue and roses are red.

Even if I've only seen them in my head.

I know that carrots are orange and grass is green.

Even though they're colours I've never seen.

I know that my hair is yellow and my eyes are blue.

Though I couldn't tell what colours you do.

Everything to me is a shade of grey.

The flowers, the sea, the sky, the clouds...

I was dumped simply because my parents were unable to feel proud.

I never got a home. Who wants a child who has no colour?

I miss the way things were before.

Before I went to school and had that eye test.

To determine who's eyesight was the best.

I had been able to pretend before that, from pretending like I 'forgot' the colours of objects I hadn't heard of.

But on that day my parents stopped their kindness. Their love.

So I tell you my secret. In the hopes I'll be accepted.

So what do you say? Am I to be forever rejected?




Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
Winterlove

7:54pm Aug 1 2011

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Posts: 399
Yours, I just want to say one thing: amazing. These are truly pieces of art and emotion, and I was very much moved by every single one of them --- yes, your poems intrigued me so much that I had to keep reading! I can't wait to read more, whether full of sorrow or happiness...all those emotions are a part of us, and I'm really glad you were able to convey them through poetry! :) I especially loved the short story poem...that really got to me.



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