Angel looked out of the narrow, rusty barred window, her, large, sparkling blue eyes where empty of any emotions or thoughts.  There was no ex
pression on her face, just the same eerie blankness that was in her eyes, it was as if her soul had gone.  Angel didn’t move, a slight breeze wafted in through the window and moved through her long white blonde hair, but she didn’t even bl
ink.  Angel only blinked when an unexpected loud bang followed by the tinkling of shattered glass reached her ears, but she did not move.

Footsteps came firmly towards her room, a key turned in the heavy lock and the solid, iron door was pushed open cautiously, a male voice muttered at someone,

“See, told you there was no reason to be cautious with her, she just sits there, we have tried everything to make her respond, it’s spooky until you get used to her.”  Two men dressed in white entered Angel’s room, but she did not even move her head to acknowledge they where there.  The man who had spoken walked over too her and looked at her pale face, she looked so healthy, her cheeks where plump and had a rosy glow too them, but she was lifeless, even after all these years, it still made his skin crawl,

“Angel, you have a visitor,” he told her in his crisp clear doctor’s voice.  He turned to the tall man standing next too him,

“Just DO NOT touch her,” he warned.  The man gave a short nod of acknowledgement and walked forward, he sat on the opposite end of the low, wooden bench Angel was sat on carefully, he cleared his throat, she had not even blinked, the slight breeze wafted through her hair again and it glimmered around her face in the sun light splashing into the room via the window.  The man glanced at the handsome Doctor unsurely but the Doctor shrugged and said with slight sarcasm,

“You should not be surprised she has been like that since she was found, in case you had not noticed this is a Mental Asylum,”  The man’s eyes went to Angel’s face again,
 “Why isn’t she in a strait jacket then?” he retorted, a  bit riled by the Doctors tone. The Doctor managed a humourless laugh,

“Does it look like she needs to be in one?” he asked.  The man shrugged slightly, his dark, almost black eyes still focussed on Angel’s statue still form.  The man leaned forward towards Angel,

“You can hear us can’t you?” he asked, his deep voice low.  Angel did not respond, the man’s eyes narrowed very slightly and he asked the Doctor without looking away from Angel,

“What happens when someone touches her?”  The Doctor moved around from where he had been standing behind the man, he walked over to Angel and stood behind her,

“Just do not,” he warned the man, his tone deadly serious, “If you try I will have you ejected from the premises as fast as is humanly possible.” The man arched a dark eyebrow as he heard the protective tone in the Doctors voice,

“Perhaps you have been dealing with her for too long,” he said shortly.  The Doctor’s even lips twitched in to an unbidden smile, he waved his hand in Angel’s direction,

“I would not call it dealing with her, after all this is the best reaction you are going to get,” he said lightly.  The man’s dark eyes wondered too the Doctors handsome face again,

“What would happen if YOU touched her?” he asked, the Doctor began to walk slowly towards the heavy, iron door,

“If you have no wish to speak to Angel then we should leave,” he said a little more abruptly than he had intended too.  The man’s eyes went to Angel again and he responded evenly,

“No, she is an interesting subject. We don’t know anything about her, not even her real name.  The woman who bought her in found her stood by the road and she has been like this ever since…. Well it appears she has, but you obviously have experience of something other than this, or you would not have been so specific in warning me not to touch her.”  The Doctor stopped and faced the man he managed a quiet chuckle,

“I saw the results in the surgery last time one of the nurses tried to touch her,” he said evenly, “I don’t know how or what she did, but it was very bloody.  The nurse quit and has not told anyone what happened to this day.” The Doctor smiled tensely, the man was irritating him immensely, he almost wished he would touch Angel, firstly to have the satisfaction of ejecting the man from the premises and secondly to see Angel actually react to something. He had dealt with corpses that had more life in them than she did.

The man shifted his position so that he was closer to Angel, he was silent for a few minutes, his dark eyes still focussed on her beautiful  doll like face,

“It is such waste,” he said quietly, “she is so beautiful.”  The Doctor nodded,

“Well prisons come in all shapes and forms,” he said, “She has chosen to imprison herself inside her body.”  The man’s dark brow creased slightly,

“Chosen is an interesting choice of words Doctor,” he mused slightly off headedly.  The Doctor’s grey eyes went too the back of Angel’s shimmering white gold hair,

“Why did you want to see her anyway?” he asked.  The man let a quiet sigh escape him,

“I covered her story when it first broke, I wanted to try and save her,” he admitted, following his admission with a dry laugh, “I realised as soon as I saw her in person that it is probably not possible after all this time.”  The Doctor pulled up a chair and sat by the bench nearest to Angel,

“We have all tried to save her at one point,” he said quietly, “Which is why chosen is an appropriate choice of words, she chooses to lock herself away from the world, for human contact.”  The man’s eyes wondered too the Doctors handsome face again,

“You have given up on her,” he observed.  The Doctor shrugged,

“What can we do?” he asked, “We have tried every possible means to try and communicate with her, but this is the only reaction we ever get.  After five years it tends to get disheartening.  We are giving her the best care we can.” 

The man’s brow creased again as his dark eyes wondered back to Angel’s flawless face,

“Maybe she was never meant for this world, maybe it is too ugly for something as beautiful as her,” he said quietly.  The Doctor’s grey eyes went to Angel’s large,blue eyes,

“I do sometimes wonder what she sees, locked away in there,” he stated, keeping his voice professional, the Doctor’s lips twitched into a smile as someone dropped something and Angel blinked at the sudden, sharp sound, he was used to visitors reacting that way to Angel, they all fell in love with her, even hard bitten reporters it seemed,

“We should leave, if you have seen enough,” he added evenly.  The man let a quiet sigh escape him, he wanted to touch Angel, she looked so otherworldly, sat there unmoving like a china doll,

“It is almost worth your wrath just to see her react in some way,” he muttered.  The man stood before the Doctor could say anything and added, “but I would like to come and see her again.”  The Doctor stood silently, he nodded,

“She has that effect on visitors, but they tire and leave her be, after all how much interaction can you have with someone who has no visible connection to the outside world.” he stated. 

I'll read this and leave comments if I find things could be improved. I'll write in blue for your convinience

Angel looked out of the narrow, rusty barred window, her, large, sparkling blue eyes where empty of any emotions or thoughts. (I find these two bits contradictory. The word 'sparkling' makes it seem fantastical or something. Then you cut it and have a huge change with 'empty'. The conflicting moods and atmospheres. Even if this is intended, I don't find it effective.)  There was no ex
pression on her face, just the same ('same' to what? This is the beginning of the story. Is this a second chapter or something? If not, get rid of this word) eerie blankness that was in her eyes, it was as if her soul had gone. (I find this a bit cheesey) Angelrn didn’t move; (<- Changed it to a semicolon for you. Sounds better that way) a slight breeze wafted in through the window and moved rnthrough her long white blonde hair, but she didn’t even (I would get rid of 'even'. It's not necessary) bl
ink.  Angelrn only blinked when an unexpected loud bang followed by the tinkling of rnshattered glass reached her ears, but she did not move. (rephrase, a bit dodgey)

Footstepsrn came firmly towards her room (maybe you should use more sound imagery. Write 'she could hear firm footsteps' or something), a key turned in the heavy lock and the rnsolid, iron door was pushed open cautiously, a male voice muttered at rnsomeone, (Expand this. Make it more specific to sounds)

“See, told you there was no reason rnto be cautious with her, she just sits there, we have tried everything rnto make her respond, it’s spooky until you get used to her.”  Two men dressed in white entered Angel’s room, but ('but' is not necessary) she did not even move her head to acknowledge they where there (not necessary. The sentence is a little awkward).  Thern man who had spoken ('spoke' sounds better) walked over too (to) ('walked over to' is quite colloquial. 'Walked towards' is better) her and looked at her pale face, shern looked so healthy, her cheeks where plump and had a rosy glow too them,rn but she was lifeless, even after all these years, it still made his rnskin crawl. (full stop)

“Angel, you have a visitor,” he told her in his crisp clear doctor’s voice (what does a 'doctor's voice' sound like. All the doctors I know have different voices.).  He turned to the tall man standing next too him. (full stop)

“Just DO NOT touch her,” he warned.  Thern man (Which man? There are two men. It may seem obvious that the man who didn't say 'Don't touch her' is the one, but this is not a very good thing to assume. Establish your characters. Perhaps you should have expanded on these two men earlier. It leads to more interesting writing) gave a short nod of acknowledgement and walked forward, he sat on rnthe opposite end of the low, wooden bench Angel was sat on carefully, hern cleared his throat, she had not even blinked, the slight breeze wafted rnthrough her hair again and it glimmered around her face in the sun lightrn splashing into the room via the window. (This sentence is too long. There are too many actions in here. Divide it up please) The man glanced at the handsome Doctor unsurely but the Doctor shrugged and said with slight sarcasm. (full stop)

“You should not be surprised (that) she has been like that since she was found, in case you had not noticed, (I put a comma in there for you) this is a Mental Asylum,”  The man’s eyes (Which man?) went to Angel’s face again,
 “Why isn’t she in a strait jacket (Straitjacket. Straitjacket is actually one word) then?” he retorted, a  bit riled by the Doctors tone. The Doctor managed a humourless laugh (A bit awkward, please rephrase this). (full stop)

“Does it look like she needs to be in one?” he asked.  The man shrugged slightly, his dark, almost black eyes still focussed on Angel’s statue-still (I put a hyphon in there for you) form.  The man leaned forward towards Angel. (full stop)

“You can hear us can’t you?” he asked, his deep voice low.  Angel did not respond, the man’s eyes narrowed very slightly and he asked the Doctor without looking away from Angel. (full stop)

“What happens when someone touches her?”. (full stop)  The Doctor moved around (not necessary) from where he had been standing behind the man, he walked over to Angel and stood behind her.(full stop)

“Justrn do not,” he warned the man, his tone deadly serious, “If you try I willrn have you ejected from the premises as fast as is humanly possible.” Thern man arched a dark eyebrow as he heard the protective tone in the rnDoctors voice (a bit awkward, please rephrase). (full stop)

“Perhaps you have been dealing with her for too long,” he said shortly (how do you say something shortly?).  The Doctor’s even lips twitched in to an unbidden smile, he waved his hand in Angel’s direction. (full stop)

More notes:

-The only thing that established that one of the men was a doctor was the fact that he had a 'doctor's voice'. You need to make it more clear that he is a doctor. You could have described him, made him look more like a doctor. 

- You merely describe what can be seen. You don't talk about other senses. You don't talk about a what people are thinking. A little 'the doctor was not impressed his companion's remark' livens up things a bit. Right now everything seems a bit wooden.

- Why do they say 'do not' and such, not shortening things. I don't really know many people who do that and the way they talk just seems a bit robotic. 

-There is close to no use of literary techniques here. A few basic ones like metaphors, similes, personification and alliteration would make the writing a little more interesting.

- I noticed that you always end paragraphs with commas. Why? Just curious, please respond ;D

Sorry if you were insulted with my commentary. You did ask for constructive criticism and I feel this is how you could improve.