On a very important day in my life, the night was quite
bone-chilling. A fierce storm was brewing and I knew it has Triton. He was
angry. The wind picked up and it started to rain. I started to close my eyes
when I heard a voice. A cream Tesuri stared at me, his eyes filled with anger.
“My. Den.” He snapped. I got up and walked away, slowly. He glared at me, and
leaped. He beat me in the fight, but when the alpha came in, the other Tesuri
held up his paw like he broke it and whimpered, “Night attacked me for no
reason!” And then, before I knew it, I was an outcast.

 

I woke up feeling very groggy. I lazily rolled off my perch
on a patch of grass and into the Enchanted Springs. I grumbled, got out of the
water and shook, finally deciding to take a walk, when I heard a menacing
growl. It was low but loud: a warning. I spun around and saw him. My lips
curled in a growl, “Ice. What are you doing here?” Ice flicked his tail and
grinned. “The question is what are you doing
here?” I stared around; Ice was right. I was a rouge…I owned no land. But
neither did him. My eyes burning into his pelt, I snarled, “What do you want?”
Ice grinned wickedly, “you!” He leaped and pinned me down. I slid from his
grasp the second before he unsheathed his claws. This time I got from behind
and leaped, crashing down on his back. He rolled and in that second I was under
him. Before he heard my bones snap, he got up but pinned me again, this time,
his claws unsheathed. I struggled under his grasp when I heard a voice, “good
job, Ice.”

 

Then, I heard a shot, and the world went black. When I
finally woke up, my paws were tied together quite tightly and I was lying on a
cold steel floor. Above me I heard a snicker and looked up to see Ice. He was
smirking and said, “Hello there, Sleeping Ugly.” I looked at him in his cold
blue eyes and snarled, about to make a smart remark when I realized my muzzle
was clamped shut. He grinned at me and said, “Oh, that’s just a little
installation I asked my master to make.” I glared at him and made my eyes say, Shut up, you stupid fur ball. I glanced
around me and saw that I was in a cage, in Ice’s “master’s” truck. I sighed and
just tried to enjoy the ride. Like that was possible.

 

Finally, we stopped at a house. It was nice and fairly
large. When Ice grinned at me, I knew where this was going. This was Ice’s
house, and I was going to be his servant…for life. I was lifted up and dumped
inside. I started to scamper away, but the man attached a collar and leash to
me and dragged me to a closet. Inside, there were a few rags, a newspaper, a
hook, two tiny dishes, and a single ball. He hung up my leash on the hook,
closed the door, and left. I paced around. I thought to myself, how will I escape? What will they do with
me?

 

While thinking, I started to play with my ball. Finally, I
dozed off on the rags. When I opened my eyes, Ice’s eyes were staring at me and
he was grinning madly. “Get up.” He demanded. 
“I’m your master now. “ I knew this was coming. I rose to my feet,
staring at him with my purple gaze. Then, he led me into the living room.  I stared at him and growled, “I’ll never be
your slave!” He stared at me and growled, “Bow.”  I stared at him in surprise, “never!” He
glanced at his master and the man nodded. Then, he walked away and came back
with a long, thin stick. He hit me with the stick, and a sharp pain dug into my
skin. I howled in pain. “Oh, get over it, you wimp.” He snapped. Then, without
really thinking, I bowed down to him, that evil Creatu above me. After he
allowed me to rise, I whispered, “what do you want now?” He glanced and me and
grinned evilly. “I think I know…”

 

He shoved me outside, then, left growling, “I want the
entire yard clean when I come back in 20 minutes. Got it? Good.” I looked
around. The yard was huge! And to my disgust, was covered in dung. I growled
and stomped over to the nearest piece of dung. I poked it with a claw. I
shivered as I wrapped my paw around it. Finally, after about 20mins, it was
about three quarters of the way done when Ice pranced out. “You aren’t done
yet?!” he screeched. He sat for a moment, thinking about my punishment. Then he
looked like he’d sparked, and ran off. When he came back, he snapped, “You can
be done now. Return to your den, you are now confined to it until tomorrow.” I
was suddenly grateful to be back in my tiny, claustrophobic closet. I pranced
back and was about to take a bite of my food when…I realized it wasn’t there!
Neither was my water! Suddenly, I realized this was my punishment. Ah, I
seriously hate Ice.

 

I tried to sleep, but it was impossible on an empty stomach.
I twisted and turned, trying to ignore the void in my stomach. Then, I did what
I normally never would have dared. I got up, and screamed. I howled, yowled,
and clawed at the door until Ice finally opened the door. “What do you-“he was
cut short as I pounced, pinned him down, and bit all of his paws. He yelped
suddenly as I grabbed him by the scruff and smashed him against the door. He
stared up at me and growled, his eyes dimming. “That’s,” I snapped, “for ruining
my life.” I ran out the front door to the sound of feet pounding at my heels.

 

I ran into the fresh air, and it felt amazing, but I kept
running until my paws were raw. I stopped to lick my bleeding sores, when
suddenly a nudge came against me. I turned around and saw another Tesuri. Her
fur was the most beautiful sky blue I’d ever seen, and her blue eyes were
captivating, sucking me in, and taking me to her world. Yes, she was dazzling. Awestruck,
I glanced up at her. “What’s your name?” I asked shyly. She grinned at me, and
whispered, “Sky. You are?” I tried to pull myself together and sound cool when
I said, “Night.”

 

She smiled and then said, “where you off to?” I really hadn’t
thought about this. I shrugged and responded, “I don’t know. Where are you
heading?” She suddenly looked troubled, “anywhere but here. A hunter is on my
trail. I can’t stay. It was fun meeting you!” She called as she ran off. I
padded after her. “Wait up!” I finally caught up to her; she stopped, turned,
and said, “What?” I looked sheepish as I said, “can I come?” She shrugged. “Okay.
I’ll need some company for the road.” So we traveled around Aquati together,
for about a month. For the first time, we started off toward the Atqueen
Forest, when I had the bone-chilling sensation we were being watched.

 

Sky must have felt this too, because she suddenly bolted
across the dense forest floor as soon as I felt a stalker on our heels. I didn’t
know what to do but run. So that was exactly what I did. Run. I jolted until I
nearly caught up to her. We ran until when couldn’t run anymore. She stopped,
panted, and murmured, “we’ll stop…for…for…” then she nearly passed out with
exasperation. We slept for a moment, and while she rested, I snuck off. I
finally found an Ahea. I bit its neck, killing it quickly. Then I wandered off
until I found a flower. I grabbed the flower gingerly in my mouth and carried
it back to Sky. What I saw made me drop the meat and flower, and my jaw drop.

 

Sky was laying sprawled out on the forest floor, a massive
hole in her chest, and blood dripping for her beautiful mouth. “No!” I
screeched, hurrying to her side. She was dead. I turned around, seeing a man
smirking, hold a 22 rifle firmly in his fingers. I leaped at his ankle, bit it
and made him trip. I snatched the gun and threw it against a tree, smashing it
to pieces. I was about to finish him when I stopped, went over to Sky, lied
next to her and whimpered, “I love you.”

 

The hunter simply ran away as fast as he could with a lame
leg. Once he left, tears started dripping down my fur. “Sky, you never knew,
but…I loved you. I still do. Don’t…don’t leave me…” I knew it was already too late,
so I walked somberly away, glancing back to see if she happened to be
following. She wasn’t.

 

 (Will be continued!)

(you said you wanted criticism so please don't take anything personally, you're a pretty good writer XD)

Just saying, but they seem to be running a lot, don't they have wings?

The part where he meets Sky is a bit rushed she just kind of appears, he instantly loves her then like 5 minutes later she dies o_o

Really though, thats pretty much what I can find that could be improved, its really very good :D

They do have wings, but I forget. o_o

Lol, thanks.

I wonder what happens next :O