The Third Floor Bedroom

Never...thats the only word I envision. Through the endless night that I know so well. I am alone. So alone it seemed unnatural, but it is this feeling of aloneness that became apart of me. The part that makes me feel safe. Never have I felt love from another. Never have I cast my gaze on a being, I am alone. The darkness engulfs me every p*censored*ing moment. My freedom is out of reach, it taunts me in my dreams, and my nightmares. I feel the tears sting my eyes as they breathe on my cold skin, alas I am unsure why these tears are brought to me...for what did I have to cry over? All I know is this room, and I couldnt even see it. The shadows blind my sight as I feel my way around my vague surroundings, searching for my daily gift of food and drink to quench my never ending thirst and hunger. I felt my way around the bedpost and crawled on the hard wood floor like a small child. I found the gl*censored*, and brought it to my lips. The liquid dripped down my dry throat as I made my way back to mattress. I sat down as the springs creaked under my weight. I know somebody was there...feeding me, taking care of me. I wasted to many tears finding out who it was, I still cling to the hope that I am alone, fear lies deep inside my heart...perhaps I dont want to know who this stranger was. I clenched my eyes shut, which was no better then keeping them open. I had no idea what lie in my fate, but I knew one thing, it all began when someone left the window open.

I awoke with a start at an unfamiliar scene... my vision was no longer indistinct, but illumintated with the light that danced around me. My eyes went wide, could this be a dream? The present clung to my sences as I realized what I was seeing...yes seeing. For a brief moment in a long time, I realized that my sight was returned to me in a huge array of color and excitement. I jumped from the perch on my bed as I landed with a thump on the wooden floor...the tan wood floor. A smile crossed my face as I forgot what a tear was, as I painted the color of the furniture in my mind. The bed in which I layed for so long was a shade of dark green, the posts that supported it a pale white. The walls a dark green to match the quilt of my bed, painted vines climbed the walls and cieling, white doves clinging to each root. Then I gasped for breath as I realized what the light was drifting from... cream cloth lept through the light breeze as I realized that the gl*censored* pane was tilted upward...revealing the new fresh air. I raced to the window and gripped the pane, chipping some of the paint. The sunlight kissed my pale skin as I bathed in its beauty. My long hair falling into my eyes as I toar it out of the way. Nothing was going to blind me from this haven. I waited to long for this feeling, the sense of defeat fading from my system, my eyes enlightened with the hope that I would be found. I sat on the heater under the windowsill, just watching. The horizon danced in my eyes as it lowed the sun. My smile began to fade when I realized the darkness was returning, I didnt want to leave the windown for fear it may never open again. I heard a creak, I whipped around so fast that I collided my left foot with the white dresser. I winced at the impact... my nail cracked as blood dripped from the wound, I grabbed a sheet from the bed and wrapped my injured toe...it dyed red quickly. The dresser's leg was smeared with red at its base. I did my best to ignore the scent of rust as my wound continued to bleed, I sat on the floor as the stars began to glisten in the dark sky. I turned around and saw the most beautiful darkness, a pitch black that twinkled with light. I smiled at the thought as I limped back to the bed laying my head on the soft pillow. I turned and watched the sky as I began to drift into sleep, the pain fading with every moment. I prayed that the hope didnt leave with the dove.

When I awoke I was struck by the cruel reality of my world. The smile that I had worn the day before had vanished with the light and my hope. I felt my tears returning, how could I be blessed with something so beautiful and then have it ripped away from my poccession only a few hours later? The loss of the light caused my heart to sink lower than I have ever experienced. I held my face in my hands as I felt the tears collect on the mattress, leaving a damp puddle in the stitches. The pain of loosing the sun stung more than the fact that I would be locked in this prison for the rest of my days. The pain had faded from my toe and this fact shocked me, I inched toward my toe and felt the nail whole once more... the blood retracted back into the wound...not even a scar was left in its wake. I swallowed hard, perhaps the whole vision was a dream...perhaps there was never hope to begin with. My fate was sealed, I was a souless body that drifted around the room...I was just there...but never really present. I felt tears come to my eyes as I wept once more of my fate and of my mistakes that filled my heavy heart. I closed my eyes and felt myself fall into a deep slumber.

My vision was in a haze as my eyesight drifted around my familiar room... all I could see was one of the white doves clinging to the vine of the dark green wallpaper. I tried to open my eyes more but I could nearly squint...I felt as if weights were trying to force my eyes shut, but I struggled to keep them open. My limbs were insignificant, they couldnt be moved. I struggled to move my body and limbs...but moving my eyelids was hard as it is. My eyes went wide as the white bird pealed itself from the wall and spread its feathered wings. It became a real bird as it manuevered its way to my side like a patient leaf dancing slowly to the ground, cocking its head with its graceful perception. I tried to smile, but before I could the bird expanded its wings and soared through the air and out the open window. Part of me wanted to call out asking it to stay...but I knew nothing could hold a free spirit. My eyes closed as I felt myself slipping away... my suffering has ended. I let out several last breaths before realizing my fate. I was the bird, I was being freed from the prison of death, and into the sky where the heavens will come to meet me, I had finally gained it. I had gained my freedom.

The character in the story, although names were not mentioned... was a suffering life that was envisioning her life p*censored*ing in her own way. She didnt realize she was dying until the very end of the story. The darkness was the suffering she had experienced and when the window opened it let the light in. the light allowed the character to see her surroundings and allow her to realize how happy she was if her life was over, to cease the suffering. In the picture from "Mysteries of Harris Burdickopen" the open window beckoned for her to leave the room and be free... the freedom the character wanted so bad was the freedom of leaving the suffering and entering death, which was the next phase of her life. the pain the character had experienced when the light had faded was the return of the pain she felt if she didnt leave, for she was being tortured in the process of dying. In "The Third Floor Bedroom." the photo revealed a dove being pealed from the wall and being brought to life. In my story the bird leaving the wall symbolized the character p*censored*ing on and finally gaining her freedom, by losing her life to end the suffering. The dresser in the picture symbolized the character hurting herself by splitting her nail, which healed over night. This was one of the first clues that suggested her fate, for one dosnt get hurt when already dead... because she still felt the pain the day before, it showed the character was only partially gone. The stranger in the story, was actuallly not planned, was it an illusion? or maybe death itself? But the anwser to that, lies in another story.  In the end, the character lost her life to end the suffering. The character had died in the bedroom on the third floor.