((OMG. THAT WAS HILARIOUS. :D))

Severus had his nose buried in a Potions text as he absentmindedly walked down the halls of Hogwarts. In Daught of the Living Death, was there moonstone powder or no? He couldn't remember, and he called himself a Potions genius. He needed that potion, or he'd be punished by Lucius and his cronies.

Dear Merlin. His life was hell. 

Before he knew it, he was out of the castle and on the grounds. The sun was shining, and he looked at it longingly. If only his life was like that. Bright and happy.

His feet led him to the Lake, a frequent hideout of his, and he spotted the familiar tree that he usually sat under, thinking of ways to improve on potions. As he approached it, his eyes twitching under the bright light of the sun, he saw another figure under it.

"Excuse me," he said snidely, and not politely at all. "You're in my spot." 

Severus looked incredulous. "Black? What are you doing here?" His eyes narrowed. "With a book?" He tried to get a good look at the cover of the book - anything that could interest one of the famous Marauders was something worth looking into. They might be looking for something to use on him, after all.

"Hand it over, Black," he said viciously, ignoring his ramble. It was very obvious that he didn't want Severus to see what he was reading, and he would make it his business to find out what it was. Gleefully, he realised it might be illegal or something. That would teach him. "If you don't give it, I'll report you to Lucius. He can dock points, you know."

Snape took the book gleefully. "Pride and Prejudice," he read, frowning. "What's so bad about it?" The name was unfamiliar at first, but it seemed to stir a memory in him. For a few seconds, the memory of his mother entered his mind, back when Tobias Snape hadn't known that his wife was a wizard and everything was fine. She had been sitting on the sofa, reading a book...Pride and Prejudice. And despite the morbid thoughts surrounding that recollection, Severus had to guffaw with laughter.

"A romance novel?" he laughed, mirth in his eyes. "You're reading romance?" He had always thought Sirius to be...not on the straight and narrow, but this proved it. Smirking, he handed Sirius the book back. "You do realise you've just handed me blackmail material, right?" 

His mind immediately began conjuring up images of the cruelest things he could think of of Sirius to do while he, Severus, hung this over his head. 

"Oh, take your pity-me-please story somewhere else," Severus said in disgust. "Do I look like I care?" He watched as Sirius mockingly bowed and called him a slimeball, and instead of it angering him, it only delighted him.

"You think you're so cool, Black, with your confidence and your popularity, but I see right through you. You're an insecure little boy who replies on his reputation." He laughed. "Your little bow just now proves it. You're acting confident, but I know you're quivering in your expensive leather boots. You know I can ruin your reputation with a little word thrown into conversation here and there." 

Looking around, he saw that there were a few others students who had come to enjoy the sunshine near the lake.

"Suppose I told them? They wouldn't believe me, I know, but they'd believe my memory. In a pensieve. And then the news would be around the school, and all those fangirls' hearts will be broken, and everyone will know what a poof you are. And your reputation would be gone like this."  He clicked his fingers.

"Oh, Sirius Black, you're at my mercy now! I'm going to make sure the next few weeks are the worst you've ever had - you're going to wish you never picked on dear Snivellus on the train when we first came to Hogwarts." He began walking away. "You can keep the spot under the tree, Black. I've better things to do now."

Ignoring the horrified stare of James's green eyes Sirius maintained a passove ex
pression nodding to Severus before turning towards the castle. He set off at a brisk pace, leaving James to catch up. The other boy walked alongside him in stunned silence for a while before he found his voice.

"What the hell was that? It looked like that pathetic grease was was giving you orders. But that can't be it, because one of Us would never take that kind of crap. So there must be another explanation. And you're going to tell me."

Suddenly Black stopped, and James rejoiced. There was a reason, he knew it. And when sirius told him, they could beat the snot out of Snot-Nosed Snivellus and everything would go back to normal.

"It's none of your business, James. This is something I'm dealing with on my own. It's got nothing to do with the Marauders, and everything to do with Sirius Black. Go on ahead, and I'll meet you on the pitch." With that he took off again, feeling... Surprisingly good, actually. It was kind of liberating. This situation, however horrid, was his. No one else's. Well, that accounted for something.

Once he reached the Hall Sirius found a plate, filling it with bread, cheese, and fruit. That was snack food, right? He quickly returned to the tree with his penance, carefully avoiding anyone who might question or delay him in any manner. Thank God for the Map. Upon arrival he set the plate on Severus's lap, his features arranged in a display of emotionless blandness.

"Anything else?"

"Nope," Severus said easily. He then paused and thought for a minute. "Actually, would you get Lily Evans for me? I want to have a word with her. Don't tell her I want her though-" he grimaced, "-just that a friend wants to talk with her."

While Sirius had been gone, he had been considering James's hatred when he had looked at him as the two boys had walked away. It had gotten him thinking. He, and half the school, knew that James was in love with Lily Evans, and it would be the ultimate revenge to take Lily right from under his nose. It was the perfect plan, but there was the small snag that Lily hated his guts right now. That could be dealt with, though. He could do almost anything if he set his mind to it. He decided that while Sirius was in his control, it would be the best time to talk with her, because he could order Sirius to help him get her.

Perfect.