I need it. -_-

Okay, as some of you may know, I was engaged to someone about a few months ago.

Well, now I'm back with him, for the second time. In total, he has broke my heart about 3 times (including this one).

In January, we were still together. Yet I snooped in on one of his email accounts and saw him being lovey dovey with some chick.

 Also, keep in mind that during the past 6 months, he was on deployment (he's in the military).

His excuse/explanation: He only talked that way because the girl always talk like that. Plus he was only talking to her to get what he wanted, which I guess had something to do with computer programming. He said it was okay, because he supposedly told the girl that he was with me and that the girl said it's fine, because she has someone else too.

Yet they continued to say how much they missed each other, how much they loved each other, keep calling each other "babe" and "my baby", and how cute their voices were. I don't even want to imagine what was said when they talked on the phone together.

What I found out when I talked to her through his email: That the girl had no knowledge of him having a girlfriend (me). I'm not even sure if she has a boyfriend. She thought she was in a relationship with him for 6 months. How did I know this? I'm pretty sure people don't say they miss someone and send emails monthly to the person until they realize that certain someone changed their Facebook relationship.

What I did (Keep in mind: everything I did and say, I automatically told to him right away): I told her exactly what he cried/told me; that he was in a relationship with me for 2 years, that he was engaged with me, that he was still with me in January, that he meant none of those things that he said to her.

Call me bitter, sadistic, a total beotch, but I feel satisfied for breaking her heart for him, like he did to me 3 times.

It just sucks. It was extremely shady; everything he said and everything I saw didn't match up nor make any sense. To be honest, I thought I had nothing to worry about. I mean how could he meet girls while on deployment? But I guess I forgot about emails and phone calls, long distance related things. I've cried all night without any sleep and recently stopped crying an hour ago because we supposedly patched things up. 

dont stay with him. Thats horrible.

Anu: Even though it may seem like it is, I'm still not at ease. The thoughts of what else was he hiding, if I should ever trust him again, and if it's going to happen again is nagging at me.

CH: I'm still with him.. Third time's a charm, right? lol.. x_x

Gorge: It was horrible, but it could have been worse.

Wolfeira: It's not too grown-up. At least, in my opinion. Kids are growing up way too fast nowadays. x_x Where I live anyways. But thanks for your input. :)

Thank you everyone who decided to listen.

I gave him another chance, but I'm definitely being a bit more controlling this time because I think I was a bit too lax last time. Setting down some solid ground rules that I thought was obvious before, not to mention putting him on a bit of probation (not in that sense). 

Aaron. No offense, but what you said was sexist. Girls ave about the same ratio of knowing about computers as guys. There are more GIRLS on this site then there are guys. And it's that way on most sites you come across. -_- And if there are more guy programmers then girls, it's not because girls 'don't know.' It's a mere coincidence. 

*Cough* Anyways.

 I do think that you should dump him if it continues.

7650: o.O Not here

Jenny: I feel your pain, and I sorta understand where your getting it. I'm not positive, but I think I know how you feel. As 7650 said, just about the same thing happened and I was in your situation. Just remember this:

Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes it takes people time to work out the math and what it all really meant.

But always forgive, and remember you yourself can make foolish mistakes like him. Just be the wiser, smarter, bigger person in the situations and things will eventually be alright. Just keep in your mind that there is always hope and no one is hopeless. You know what's right deep down, just listen to what your heart says. =) 

I think staying with him sounds like a huge risk. If he's the kind of guy to pull that garbage - either due to a lack of character or a lack of commitment to you - it's not going to change in a snap just because he got caught and his girl is furious with him. If not another girl on the side, you're still looking at plenty of other problems in the future on top of the normal relationship difficulties.

I know it hurts to let go and admit that he's not going to be good for you, but people misjudge each other all the time, and I can't suggest holding onto something and someone you can't truly trust and count on. From your future spouse, of all things, you deserve better than that.

 Oh, well. Hope I'm not imposing upon anything, but I felt it really ought to be said.

I changed my mind;

I don't wanna grow up.

He doesn't have an excuse for breaking you're heart three times.

I think you should be hard to earn.

Jenny:

That's horrible.

Who would do somthing like that? Huh? That's mean and horrible and nasty! This is what I would do:

Once: Ok. Everyone makes mistakes, and you can understand that. Forgive him and move on.

Twice: Ok. Big mistake. Your messing with the wrong girl... but your kind and nice, so forgive him again. Be a bit wary though.

Third Time: That's enough. He really made a big mistake, and he's going to regret it. But... once again, forgive him and ban him from the computer and phone. No one deserves that. At least, Jenny doen't deserve it. You've chosen someone you love, and he should love you back. No problems? Anymore problems and that's it! If he does that one more time to my beloved Jenny, then fists of fury will go flying! Not really, they won't. But you should, if you want/need to, leave him, and be free!

Hello,
I don't really know you, but I do know guys very well. Most of the time when guys go behind a girlfriends back and make the effort to start a relationship over email and the phone, they will do it again. Not right away and they will be much smarter about it, but it will happen again.
Do you even know if they have met before? He probably wouldn't tell you if they had.

I'm just saying dump him. Any girl no matter who you are doesn't deserve to have that thought at the back of their mind 24-7. Is he actually going out with guy friends? Is he actually texting his mom?

I have had tons of friends go through this. And every time I tell them. Once is the charm, if he cheats on you, he obviously doesn't love you, and doesn't care about hurting you. DUMP HIM! Why would someone who wants to be with you forever even think about another girl?
Some of them listen and some of them dont.
But ultimately every time it ends with them breaking up and usually the ones that don't listen find them with another girl, or get broken up with as soon as he finds someone who is easier, sleazier, and doesn't know hes a total cheating jerk.

I know what a bad relationship feels like and I know what a perfect one feels like. The ones that are the good ones, never, make you cry so much your heart aches. Theres always tears in any relationship, but you sould be able to let a person you love have their privacy without the fear of them hiding something horrible behind it.

The whole cheating thing has happened to me and honestly I just didn't want to have to deal with having to worry, cry, and fight about it. You want a relationship and is loving, honest, and trustworthy. Not what you have now.

Thank you for all the support and suggestions. :)

The first two times he broke up with me was just stress-related (since he's in the military, I can sort of understand) and the third was just because we were becoming a bit distanced.

It is true that he'll probably be smarter in either the sense of: hiding things more efficiently or, hopefully, avoiding and preventing any possible risk of anything stupid like that from happening again.

Right now, I feel justified to have him whipped and leashed.