*insert a title here*


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FoxCrazy

5:43pm Feb 10 2010 (last edited on 5:44pm Feb 10 2010)

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This is just something I was going to do for an rp plot, but then I got like, really interested, so I decided to make it into a short story. *Note: This is not the completed version. Just what I have so far. XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...Dear Diary,

     It seems as if senior year is flying by. Dreven and I will have our two-year anniversary tomorrow, and it is almost like the whole school knows. After that, its only three weeks until graduation. I can't wait!

     I wonder what Dreven will do after school. He says that he may play pro football, but I think he'll just continue working for my dad here in town. I wish he'd say he loves me already. I've told him so much over the past two years, and even in the year before we broke up for a few months.

     Even during those few months, after I had said that we might want a break, to meet new people, I still loved him. We remained friends, and talked daily, but for a while, it was nothing more. But those few relationships neverworked out. We had the closest bond anyone could get. Even though he towers a foot over me...."

~~

"...Dear Diary,

     I don't know why I still write in this old thing, especially since I'm married now, but I guess its because I used to write so much about Dreven in here. He thinks I'm weird for reading it, probably because I read it every day, but he's my husband, and we have to agree...sometimes, that is. Ever since he asked me, on my birthday, a month after graduation, I have been the happiest person ever. Well, correction, I was happiest until our marriage a few months ago. THEN I was the happiest person ever...."

~~

     Mari sat weeping on the bed. The king-sized mattress was covered in a lovely jade green sheet set, and the pillowcases were slightly lighter. Mari reached out a shaky hand for the picture on the bedside table, glancing out through the window for a moment at the icy weather. She switched gazes to her cell phone, which lay silent on the comforter beside her. Ever since she had gotten that fateful call, she had hoped that she would recieve another, saying that it was all a creul joke, and her husband was fine. But as she reached for the photo, which was actually an as.sortment of photos in one frame, she knew it was true.

     There were five pictures. One of her and her husband at the senior prom, another of them after graduation, a wedding photo, a Christmas picture from a few days ago, and just an everyday photo, taken by her dad while her and her husband had been chatting on his porch. She lightly lifted the picture frame from its perch on the table, and held it close.

     "I can't believe it. Dreven's gone. He's dead."

     Only minutes before, she had recived a call from the hospital. Dreven had been driving to work, when his car hit an especially icy patch, and gone sliding out of control. Off of the road, and into a ditch, they had said. It was a long death. But by time they had gotten there, he was almost gone. There was nothing they could have done. They had told her his dying words.

     "They were 'Tell my wife, Mari Treval, to be brave and strong without me. And that those few months, so many years ago, had been a mistake. Tell her, that these past three years as her wife have been the best...' He had died right after."




"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

luvsarahdessen97

8:32pm Feb 11 2010

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Posts: 192

Oh my god I absolutely LOVE it!!!! Maybe you could just call it "Dear Diary". In my opinion, you don't need real complex titles, simple will make it sound even better. Is the whole story going to involve her diary, because that would be a really good idea.

Well anyway, could you post the whole story? It's really good, and the way you made her write in her diary was totally realistic. :)

Story ti
tle ideas-

-Dear Diary

-Diary for Drevon

-So Long Ago

- Life Goes By

(I dont know how good any of these are, but they're just suggestions)

FoxCrazy

9:50pm Feb 11 2010

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Posts: 3,469

Oh, the diary part was just the beginning. Maybe i'll divide it up into Chapters and start each Chapter with a Diary entry or two.

Anyways, this is all I have typed up, actually. Though lately, I have atendency to leave sotries alone for a long time before coming back. I'm working on reducing m comma use a bit. XD

But thank you for the comments and ideas. A couple of those actually stood out.




"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

FoxCrazy

10:47pm Feb 11 2010

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Posts: 3,469

Here's more:

~~~~

     Her cat Moril jumped up onto the bed and rubbed his head against her knee affectionately. His sleek black pelt was carefully groomed by the clean cat and his green eyes were bright, almost as if he were sorry for Mari. She smiled and lifted him into her lap. He purred at the attention as she pet him. She allowed herself a small laugh.
     "My little engagement cat."
     Dreven had gotten her Moril a few days after their engagement, as a late birthday present. So their nickname for him was 'engagement cat'. She smiled a bit as he jumped down and jumped almost immedeatly with a toy in his mouth. He dropped it on Mari's knee, as if telling her to cheer up. She picked up the small cloth and catnip mouse, watching as Moril's eyes followed it. She tossed it smoothly into the hall, and the black cat streaked off of the bed and after the mouse in an instant. She shook her head in shock.
     "That cat has energy to spare."




"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

luvsarahdessen97

9:42am Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 192

awww, that's so cute! Although I am more of a dog person myself, cats are still cool, too :p. How old is Mari again??? I'm not sure if it's in the story or not, maybe I accidently skipped over it, but I'll just ask you directly. You definately should continue, it's really good.

I'm currently writing a novel right now. It's called "Pictures of You". It starts pretty sad and droopy, but it does get happy and cheerful later on. It's on this website, if you want to read it (you don't have to, but if you do, please comment :D)

luvsarahdessen97

9:42am Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 192

awww, that's so cute! Although I am more of a dog person myself, cats are still cool, too :p. How old is Mari again??? I'm not sure if it's in the story or not, maybe I accidently skipped over it, but I'll just ask you directly. You definately should continue, it's really good.

I'm currently writing a novel right now. It's called "Pictures of You". It starts pretty sad and droopy, but it does get happy and cheerful later on. It's on this website, if you want to read it (you don't have to, but if you do, please comment :D)

luvsarahdessen97

9:42am Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 192

awww, that's so cute! Although I am more of a dog person myself, cats are still cool, too :p. How old is Mari again??? I'm not sure if it's in the story or not, maybe I accidently skipped over it, but I'll just ask you directly. You definately should continue, it's really good.

I'm currently writing a novel right now. It's called "Pictures of You". It starts pretty sad and droopy, but it does get happy and cheerful later on. It's on this website, if you want to read it (you don't have to, but if you do, please comment :D)

Mythalian

1:05pm Feb 12 2010 (last edited on 1:06pm Feb 12 2010)

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Posts: 1,120

Sorry, my computer wouldn't load so i kept pressing post over and over again. Well, I guess that was the wrong thing to do ;) (this is luvsarahdessen97, btw)




FoxCrazy

4:32pm Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 3,469

Lol. Mari is around 22, If I counted right. And I love cats, they are my favorite pe.t(besides the rare fox.)




"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

Mars

10:20pm Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 969

:c It's so sad.

I love it though. I'm kinda tired, so...no crit for JOO. D; Sorry.






FoxCrazy

10:26pm Feb 12 2010

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Posts: 3,469

Fein. Goodnight.

And yeah, supposed to be sad.




"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

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