We both knew this was for the best.  Our futures were right in our hands.  Nevertheless, taking these steps away was one of the hardest things to do.  I took a deep breath as we walked through the crowd of people preparing to go on a flight.  She hasn’t said a word since we got in the car.  She didn’t look at me as I drove to the air port. Her fingers were limp in my palm as we walked to my flight. 

I stopped when we were a couple yards from the door that led to my future.  Led to me leaving the life I had.  Led to me leaving Abigail, the short, blonde girl that stole my heart just a mere four years ago during our ninth grade History class. She knew every name of every president, when they were born and when they died, and every amendment before the teacher had a chance to bring it up during class. Her homework was always handed in on time, her tests was always 100%, and  always took the chance to do extra credit. She was the student that everyone got annoyed with because she knew all the answers. But after meeting her for the first time, with those blonde locks tied up in a cute bow and kind, blue eyes that lit up when she smiled, I swooned. I’m still swooning. 

While I was just a foolish 14 year old boy that wanted nothing more than to pass the class with at least a C; get out of high school as soon as possible and start my life.

Who knew that five years later, I would be starting my life the way I dreamed and yet I couldn’t take those last steps to the door. 

I let go of the limp fingers in my hands and stood to face Abigail.  Her blue eyes have yet to acknowledge me, her lips refuse to lift to even the smallest of smiles. She knew just how to break my heart without even trying.

I stepped closer, the front of my toes against her own, and lifted her chin to catch her gaze with my own.  Her lower lip trembled but she caught herself from breaking down before she couldn’t resist.  That’s Abigail; trying her best to stay strong. 

“I guess…  Well…  This is it?”

I winced at my wording the second it came from my lips. I was never a smooth talker; never knew what to say at the right time. But at least words were spoken after an hour and a half of painful silence. 

Abigail chewed on her lip and stepped away.  Her first small step from me that will lead to a far distance apart. She nodded her head as she crossed her arms, bitterly.  This wasn’t like her.  Like us.  We were the giggly couple.  The couple that made people believe that there was such a thing as happiness.  We fought like anyone else, but we always ended up laughing like we were never mad at each other in the first place. 

This silence was out of character for the both of us and it was unbearable.  I groaned, running a hand through my brown hair in frustration; dying for us to go back to laughing at stupid things and ignoring everyone else around. Wanting nothing more than to make her smile the way I always had the ability to do. 

“Abigail, I don’t want to leave this way.” 

She clenched her jaw, also frustrated at this whole situation.  Uncrossing her arms, I took that as a sign that she wasn’t going to be so guarded. Walking closer, I grabbed her hand, pressing her knuckles against my lips, as she opened her mouth, trying her best to get the words out without tears coming out of her eyes.  She failed miserably, as two snaked down her rosy cheeks. I caught them with my thumb just as she said, 

“I-It’s not going to work out, Jim.” She sniffled and shooed my hand away before angrily wiping her cheek herself. “Long distance relationships never work out.” 

At least she was talking. Even if it was negatively. “Then it doesn’t have to be long distance.”  I said with pleading eyes. After a pause, I added hesitantly, “… Come with me.” 

It was such a selfish sentence.  The idea sounded great and convenient, but never before had I felt so selfish for wanting something so bad. 

Abigail laughed; not a laugh because of humor, but a laugh laced with sadness. At least she was smiling, even if it was sorrowful. I guessed she knew me too well to know that I really wouldn’t make her leave her family, her friends, the life she built here to come with me.  

“I love you, Jim.”

Was all she said in a breathy tone that made my heart pound like the way I first heard the words come out of her mouth at the senior prom when I took her to the door step. Music to my ears. 

I didn’t respond because I didn’t need to.  I gazed into the blue orbs that won’t light up when they see me anymore. The thought brought a lump to my throat; I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into a hug, my lips pressing hard against her forehead. My flight number was called. I had to go. Tears slipped down both sides of my face and I heard a sob come from Abigail, gripping onto my shirt as though she’d never let me go. 

It took everything in my being to finally unwrap my arms from her shoulders and let go completely. Let go of the four years where I was so taken with her.  Isn’t the man supposed to sweep the woman off her feet? This time it wasn’t the case. The woman always had me swooning first. I was swept off my feet from the start.

 As I started to take a step back, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me in until my lips met her own. I was so incredibly tall, or she was so incredibly short, that it always ached my neck to kiss her. I heard a whistle through the voices of the crowd as once again my flight was being called and I smiled against her lips. She finally let me go, smiled at me in a way that made her eyes crinkle just like I loved, and said, 

“Good bye, Jim.”  

That was it. No long distance relationship. No phone calls. This was goodbye. I gave her a sad smile and stepped back a couple steps towards the door before waving slightly. I started towards my flight as it was called one more time before thinking of something. I knew I’d have to rush. I knew I couldn't miss my flight. But I had an idea and Abigail knew of my weird, crazy ideas and she loved me for them. I couldn't help but pass it up. 

I turned around to look at her back retreated, wiping her cheeks as she did so.

“Abbi!”

She turned around, her eyes watery and her cheeks wet and looked at me with a face that made me want to go to my knees and beg her to come with me once more. 

I started taking a step forward. People were vacating the area. I could be late for my flight. I didn’t care. 

“In four years, when I’m done school, lets meet here. Right in this spot. Right at this time.” I looked at the clock. 4 o clock.  “If one of us, or both of us, are married, dating, engaged… Then we’ll agree that we weren’t… Uh…” I hated being cheesy but, then again, wasn’t this whole idea of mine a bit cheesy?  “We weren’t ever meant to be.” She lifted her eyebrow at me, probably finding me as crazy as I really was. “But if we’re both single, we can grab some lunch. Maybe try again. You could tell me about the school your teaching at and I’ll tell you how law school went. I know it will be very eventful and fun to tell.” 

She smiled at my sarcasm before once again rolling her eyes.  Yeah maybe it’ll never happen. Maybe by the time four years rolls around, we’ll forget this conversation. But I had to have a chance to have my Abbi again.

“That seems nice… but four years seems like an awfully long time.” 

I lifted an eyebrow. “Three years?” 

She chuckled as she lifted two fingers and said, “How about two?” 

We stared at each other for a long time as the idea sunk in. Were we really considering this?

“It’s a deal.” I said, my heart pounding at the idea. Of course I’d still be in law school, but I could visit. This was crazy. And stupid. But so worth it. 

“Good bye for now, Jim.” Abbi said once again, the smile from before still on her lips. Good thing because if I saw tears one more time, I’d be ripping up this ticket. 

“See you soon, Abigail.”

We stood in silence, maybe in surprise that we actually made this deal. Maybe wishing it really did happen. 

I walked away that day with a hole ripped from my heart, but filled the void with the hope of seeing her again in two years. At 4 o clock. On August 11th. With a wallet ready to buy lunch.