A Poem is a Beat of Your Heart...


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Meg

9:26pm Oct 3 2012 (last edited on 4:26pm Oct 4 2012)

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So, if you can't tell from the ti[injection]tle, Meg is into poetry. I am going to be posting poems on here quite often, and if you get spurred to write one yourself, and it is really good, feel free to post it. Also, double spaces and periods for me mean a strong pause. Here is my first selection:



When you hang on the edge of your first breakup,  wishing it could end, I’ll be there.



When you feel betrayed,  hurt,  and unloved,  I’ll be there.



When your life is but a shadow, and your heart yearns for
more, I’ll be there.



When you have no one left, and your soul feels empty, I’ll
be there.



When you are lost and oh so lonely, I’ll be there.



When you can take no more,  I’ll be there.



I’ll be there in the dark of the night.



In the silence of your heart.



In the shadows of your soul,



I will always be there, loving you for all eternity,



And even though you will never love me back,



I’ll be there.
Meg

8:12pm Oct 5 2012 (last edited on 4:58pm Oct 6 2012)

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Please rate what I post. i need to know whether I am as terrible as I think.
Sarentu

5:00pm Oct 6 2012

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I love it! :D


Officially the Albino Veram King.

55/100 albino Veram
Meg

5:01pm Oct 6 2012

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Posts: 4,744
Aw, thanks <3
neomaemae

9:58am Dec 15 2012

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Wow, Meg! You're so good at poetry!

I've never really had a feel for poetry, mostly just writing and art.

I love your form, it's so... so...

Marvelous!


psalm 103:12 |-/
Meg

10:00am Dec 15 2012

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Posts: 4,744
Thanks. I got really behind on this, I think I'm going to start doing it again.
Meg

5:06pm Dec 19 2012

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Time is Never Constant

It speeds and it slows,
It can never stay still.
It is too fast when it should be slow,
and to slow when it should be fast.
It hates to give you what you wish
as the hours pass.

If I know anything about time,
And trust me, I do,
The only thing constant about time,
Is that it will never be constant for you.
Arrow

2:45pm Jan 1 2013

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I'm harsh when I critique because I'm not one to sugarcoat anything so don't take it personally. I feel like I have to tell people this now before I do so. ha

Personally, I like your second poem but your first is sort of a drag. You're in a constant up and down feel with it, by continuously adding "I'll be there" at the end or somewhere in each line. There are some instances where repetition is a marvelous thing but for this poem, I think not. If anything, I would start the first line off with saying "I'll be there," and then only at the end repeat it.

With the constant repetition, that's really all you get out of the poem. You start to focus more on the sound than the words and that's exactly what you don't want. 

The second one is short and I like the second stanza much better than the first. The last two lines in the first one confuse me. When you say, "It hates to give you what you wish / as the hours pass." I don't entirely understand what you mean here. Poems are usually obscure, but the words will always have a point or message in them. I know of a few people who just write what sounds neat or 'mysterious' and when asked what it really means, they get a dull look on their face and do the whole, "durrwhat" thing. Those two lines seem incredibly unnecessary to me, is what I'm trying to say. ^^;

Good luck writing.




hello my name is elder price
Meg

9:31pm Feb 7 2013

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Posts: 4,744
Okay. I have gotten substantially better over this time period.
Ignore what is already posted :I
I'm getting something I have already written up, I just need to type it <3 Hope ya all like it.
Meg

9:47pm Feb 7 2013

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Posts: 4,744
Love is the greatest battle,
It hurts, there is no doubt,
But if I can be sure of anything,
It is that we just can't do without.

It is the fiercest weapon,
For without it is no heart,
And when a person feels unloved,
They'll likely fall apart.

So take up the mighty sword,
And with your shield deflect the hate.
For many will try to stop your love,
But you must not let this be your fate.

So be strong and courageous!
The battle has only just begun.
And once you love, you'll never stop,
'Till the war is won.

Meh, not my best work, I feel like something is awkward, or missing. I often have spurts of genius, but I forget what I thought of two minutes after I thought of it, so I have a small window of opportunity to write poems. I'll get some more up when I'm not super, super tired c:
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