My eyes sift through the dense jungle as my paws crunch through multicolored leaves, my tail whips the trunks of barren trees’ , and I breathe heavily as I trek through the vast wilderness I call home. And the pelt I bear, blends perfectly within the changing environment. A scent carries along with the chilly breeze, the scent of a small herd of deer, maybe three or five. My nose works along with my brain, enabling tracking skills and improving stealth. Amber eyes scanning the fog laden forest floor, ears swiveling to pick up the sounds of the herd. 'Crunch!' my ears swivel east, where the noise originated from. I drop my stance to a low crouch and my head quickly switches from north towards the crunch. And there stands a lone deer, possibly separated from the herd, or possibly a loner.

The deer’s antlers are thick, with a thin coating of velvet, indicating the winter season. It’s a season of deer replenishment. A season where young bucks compete against rival bucks for breeding rights, a right that we predators take advantage of often.

The buck has a light brown pelt and his amber eyes are looking through leaves in search of tiny morsels. My canine heart beats faster, pumping blood faster through my veins like a human highway.

My ears erect, eyes wide, tail extended flat rearward and waving gently, concentrating completely on my prey. My muscles prepare to attack. I force my body forward and rush forward towards the buck, legs pumping. The buck sensed movement a soon as I lifted a paw and was already a good ways in front of me, but the adrenalin of a hunt carries me on. My pace quickens as trees fly by, my paws drumming against moist leaf and gra-ss, my breath coming in quick sharp gasps as my body dodges trees'. The deer kicks his speed up some more, as do I. My legs are going full speed. Ten minutes have already gone by and im almost at tail length away from the buck. I can hear the buck’s frantic breath as his hooves kick up mud. I extend a front paw as I reach him, and my paw catches his muscular hind leg and he stumbles onto the ground, twisting and sliding in the mud, my body leaps upon his and he lashes out with his front legs catching me in the lower jaw. I whine in pain, but I rush back, avoiding flailing limbs. Failed attempt after failed attempt, the buck is having trouble getting up. I go for the back of his neck, my canines piercing his soft flesh causing him to bleat in pain continuously. I give the back of his neck a shake before he catches me in the side with his antler, again I whine in pain and leapt backwards. His neck broken, But his legs are still flailing, his bleating continues, drifting through the breeze until my ears have had enough and my bloodlust encourages me to end his life. I bit into his jugular, just beyond reach of his powerful limbs. Warm blood pours onto my bloodstained tongue and staining the ground a rose red. His legs slow to a stop and his gasping breaths stop. He is dead I presume. And I release my grip when I truly know he is dead. I hover over him for a minute thinking "I am Automne, and I am wolf." my muzzle dripping blood onto the corpse.

While I'm not an animal-story fan I'll try commenting on the style of this as opposed to the content.

First of all, I think you'd have to check this a bit. There's an odd ' hanging after 'trees' and I'm not too sure why.

For the *CRUNCH* you don't need to emphasize it with capitals, but you can just write crunch with an '!'. You also shouldn't put it between those '*' (Yeah, you can tell I so know my English punctuations ;o) but just between them quotation marks like so:

'Crunch!'

My ears swivel east, where the noise originated from.

We'd understand it just as well and plus it looks more professional.

I could add more such as the style of writing if you'd like. There are other ways to make the lines flow more nicely and seem more appealing. I'm sorry, I'm very picky about things xD

I also advise to add more content, it makes it easier to judge, for me at least. c:

And as I tell people, no need to follow all my advice, I tend to abuse commas a lot and thus I often doubt my grammar corrections would be right.

I will add MOAR >:D

Gewd :D

I think you'd have to be more picky on the choice of words. Since you're doing a story through a wolf's point of viewthen I doubt they'd kno what chocolate is y'see xD Pick more natural colours, that goes for any metaphors you choose to have as well.

Avoid using 'suddenly' a lot, it's one of those words you shouldn't overuse.

And there's stuff I'm curious about. Shouldn't an animal die once its neck's broken? I'm a poor scientist so I bet I got facts wrong but yeah, you have to make sure you do your research before writing to make it more believable. If you have then I apologise |D

Other than that, just continue writing and listen to feedback (from more people besides me xD). Some things such as how you write -and even what you write- will develop as you write and read.

there was a duckling i took care of with a broken neck and he died a few days later.

As for the chocolate this. I understand what your talking about and I'll fix that error :D EDIT: fix those errors :)

EDIT EDIT: HERE IS THE FIST CHAPTER (FRENCH VERSION)

Chapter 1: The AwakeningTo wake up to the smell of fresh morning dew and to catch the sight of your breath on the chilly air, to the sounds of birdsong in the morning refreshes your mind, body, and spirit. But it doesn’t work that way for me. For I am wolf and waking to another day simply means that you’ve survived one more day, time constantly eating your life span until there is none left and your time to recede to the stars comes to end this feeling abruptly.  To me, another day means another day consumed, and that it may just be your last day on the round watery globe organisms call home.I stand up groggily and stretch my Stiff muscles until they are flexible enough to move through dense forest. My amber eyes scan the land wondering where my Mate Feuilles wondered off to.

I tilt my muzzle up towards the awakening sun and let out a howl. My message carried on the winter breeze along with some fallen leaves. My message rings until my awaited response rings back to me. The message said “ne vous inquiétez pas Mon amour, je Suis à la recherché d'un nouveau camping, de créer UN pack. Espérons que je serai bientôt de retours.” My emotion returns to a calm sensation in my chest. But my heart still keeps a sad beat.

I decide to take a little stroll down towards the lake to see if I can manage to get a drink before the pristine water freezes over. My head held high, my tongue lolling out of my mouth as my feet carry me to the vast pristine lake. My legs slow to a halt as I stand there looking out at the frozen lake, I let out a sigh “je voulais éviter cela ... Mais Im déshydratation rapide en Ce temps-là ... la neige EST sur c'est im moyen sûr ... J'espère feuilles EST ici d'ici là” I walked over to the frozen lake and started chipping away at the ice. Piece by piece my paws chip the ice away until I’ve made a large enough hole to stick my muzzle in and quench my thirst. “Ah, c'est beaucoup mieux” I sigh to my self and turned around and began my trek back to my sleeping spot when a howl erupted and carried through the wind to me saying “Aimer! J'ai trouvé UN camping idéal pour commencer UN pack in! Suivez ma voix. Pressé Mon amour car IL ya une tempête de neige sur SA route vers vous!” I was appreciative of his power to detect oncoming storms and my nose picked up his scent and my ears located where his voice originated from . And ran towards his voice.

My heart drumming in tune with my paws. Suddenly the forest seemed to sing in unison with my paws. Birds and crickets chirp to the beat, leaves crunch under foot, the breeze howls around me, I exhale every time my paws hit the ground. ‘Thump thump, thump thump.’ My heart whispered in my ears, a story, and it was my story. It is a story of love and hatred. A story of secrets and accusation. I listened to the story over and over again. A never ending pulsating story.  Mental images flow through my mind while listening to the numbing story of my past. I continue running as fast as I can, pushing the mental images farther back into my mind, burying them in my daunting secrets.

A snowflake landed on the tip of my soot black nose. The shock of the cold flake landing on my nose awoke my senses and snapped me back to reality. Where I realized it was starting to snow, and my legs began to ache. But Feuilles’s scent was stronger and he let out another howl saying “Dépêchez-vous pas beaucoup de temps jusqu'à Ce que vous êtes perdu dans le blizzard probablement définitivement, appuyez sur le mal de côté ET poussez vos limites, Mon amour, soyez prudent!” I did what he said and pushed the Aching feeling aside and focused on reaching him in time. His scent grew stronger and stronger each time I strode ahead until his scent took me into a fury and I let out a nervous howl “Je peux sentir votre parfum ici est vivement cette frontière le?” Then his reply was loud enough to make my ears ring “Je peux vous voir. Restez là” So I sat down looking around for him. I see a silhouette of a muscular wolf coming over and I Whimpered out of joy when his face became clear, But my eyes looked right through him as if he weren’t there as to not anger him, he did the same as well. He reached me and urged me forward excitedly and I followed him to the den site.

The wind around us became suddenly cold; the sky above us became pitch black with clouds filled with a potential blizzard. Wind whipped our faces as we ran. The storm grew stronger, louder, and colder as the minutes ticked away. A shout from Feuilles, telling me that we need to hurry, this storm is deadly. We both ran as fast as our legs can carry us and soon we reached the den site. Feuilles forced me into the cave first and he came in second. The cave was quite cramped with two adult wolves lying down next to each other. I yawned and whispered “Combien de temps pensez-vous de cette tempête VA Durer, les Feuilles?” Feuilles shrugged and spoke with a tinge of fear ringing through his voice “Vous ne savez pas, peut-être quelques heures ou plus, selon l'ampleur de cette tempête.” I nodded and sighed, “Nous vous remercions de trouver ce site den, mon amour, nous pouvons enfin commencer une maintenant. Au moins, quand ce temps viendra.” Feuilles laughed silently to himself “Pas de problème, mon amour, pas de problème.” And soon we both fell asleep.

The next morning, the winds were calm again, and the air was nothing but a crisp winter breeze. Winter birds were playing what seems like catch, dodging through trees’ trying to capture one another, then the one who was caught is “It”. A game a younger wolf often partakes in. I look over at Feuilles and he was still asleep. I somewhat stood up and walked out of the den. I gasped when I saw the beautiful camp site. A now frozen pond lies near the trees’ that border our camp. The snow shimmers like pristine waters, which makes the place look even more gorgeous and fake. I turn to see Feuilles standing next to me, smiling. I turn back to gander at the beautiful camp site “Feuilles, cet endroit est magnifique, il ne semble pas reel!” Feuilles stretched and spoke “C'est pourquoi je l'ai choisi, mon amour.” I looked right through him “voulez aller chaser Feuilles?” he nodded and our noses quickly picked up the taunting scent of an elk, our mouths salivated at the smell. We trotted through snow, not leaving before redoing the scent markers. As soon as Feuilles was finished re marking the border, we set off again to find that elk. Suddenly, I fell to the ground, my body convulsing, and my eyes glowed bright amber. I saw the future’s daunting images ran through my mind projecting into my eyes. Once those visions disappeared, my body stopped convulsing, and my eyes returned to their regular amber colour. Feuilles was looking in my direction, mortified by what happened. “Mon amour, tu vas bien? Êtes-vous malades?” Feuilles spoke with a larger tinge of fear rung through the words. “Non je ne Suis pas malade. Je viens de voir l'avenir”

Cool! I like it, but I think it's sad I love animals so don't takje it from me, and nice pet!

                         Write more storys! But maybe you could make a summary just for me! "cuz I love sorys and stuff just not so much reading... ya know what I mean right?tle="Laughing" /> And nice pet! XD tle="Laughing" />