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6:10pm Feb 6 2013 (last edited on 12:27pm Mar 15 2013)
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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I just felt like doing some sort of story. Basically, it's a fallen angel who regrets what he's done, and falls in love with a human girl. Told in view of both the girl and the boy.
Interesting, no?
Feel free to comment. I WANT FEEDBACK.
Plagiarize me and I'll kill you though. Find out where you live, and use my black belt skills to kill you.
Kk, starting time c:
~Prologue~
Light. That is what one thinks of, when one thinks of an angel. Bright light, white wings, and a golden halo that shines. But not all angels are the stereotypical white robbed heavenly hosts. I would know, I was one of the exceptions.
Darkness. That is what you think of, when one thinks of a fallen angel. Ripped clothes, fire, torment, all of these things are what you would assume a fallen angel would look like, but it is not so. I myself have ice blue eyes and sweeping brown hair, and my wings are not torn, simply black. We really aren't too bad, the fallen angels, just a heavenly being that once made a mistake. I'm sure your pretty white robed stereotypical angels have made mistakes as well, we just made a more obvious one, and were cast away from everyone and everything we knew and loved, and threatened with the fact that anything we would develop a love for would be thrown into the deepest pits of Hell and tormented for all eternity.
But love is not something you can contain, no matter what the circumstances or punishments are. I always assumed that I was too broken, too strong for love. All the other fallen angels eventually were woven into the snare of their love, and I figured I was the exception. Wouldn't we all consider ourselves special, if there was something different about us, consider ourselves better? It is an angel's nature, when not pure, to want to be better at some things than another angel. We wish to have something going for us, and mine was my supposed lack of love. But alas, I tripped up once, and I fell headfirst, uncontrollably into love.
Her name is Anabelle, and she is the most wonderful, kind, beautiful, caring female in the entire existence of both immortals and humans.
And I love her. I really do.
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12:32pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 2,503
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<3
^That's all. That's my feedback.^
<3
 psalm 103:12 |-/ |
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8:15pm Feb 7 2013 (last edited on 12:29pm Mar 15 2013)
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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~Chapter One~
I felt the cold, marshy snow squish into the soft soles of my boots. Freak snowstorms were generally, you know, a freak thing, but I just happened to have the worst luck in existence on that very day. My very first boyfriend, who had been with me for three long, happy years, had been in his dorm cheating on me, and I had caught him. Then, I had been forced to attend four hours of college seminars with my face as red as a beet from crying about the loss of my boyfriend, and now I had to trudge the nine mile walk back home in a freak snowstorm because my Vespa scooter's engine had backfired, and it had had to be towed to be fixed.
What luck. Most people complain about having the worst day ever; I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing it, and they're just complaining brats.
I pushed my bangs out of my face, but the brown hair just swept into my eyes once more. I ignored the little ringlet curl until another three joined it. I swung my purse in front of me and ripped out a hair tie. Unfortunately, the hair tie was accompanied with something else; it was the last picture my family, my boyfriend, and I had ever taken together. It was a happy, scenic picture, and I hated it. It reminded me of my parents who had died just weeks before, my boyfriend who was a total jerk, and my childhood home which had been condemned only two days ago. The picture was beautiful; it was of the gorgeous blue lake that rested behind my home surrounded by the hills and pine trees that framed our little piece of existence. We were all in a pyramid formation, and I, being the smallest, was at the top, kneeling on my older brother and boyfriend's back, with my arms open wide to the sky, and an expression of blissful excitement on my face. As I studied my face a little longer, I realized how happy I had been. My eyes had been closed, and my face had been facing up, letting the warm, crisp sunlight flush the details of my face. My lips had been in a small smile; it was nothing too huge and overwhelming, but I didn't look insincere, just simply happy about the fragile beauty of the moment.
I turned the picture over, and recognized my dad's handwriting. I had forgotten his writing of that note all those long years ago, and tears filled my eyes as I read, "To my little sweetheart: Even though you are now nineteen, going on to twenty, you are still my baby girl. I'll love you for all of eternity, Baby, and I care about you so much. As you go off for your second year of college, I'll treasure this moment that I spent with you. Always be yourself, and make your daddy proud."
I fell on my knees, half-frozen tears falling down my face. I grasped my head in my hands, attempting to stop the flow of my tears. Thankfully, in New York this wasn't the kind of thing people noticed or cared about; they just gave you a wide berth. I cradled my head in my knees, and wrapped my arms around my legs to try to get a grip, but I kept sobbing. Some part of my brain was hoping the chill from the wet snow would wake me up from my trance-like sobbing stake, but no such luck was to be had. I couldn't control the flow of feelings that I had kept to myself for the past two weeks.
My brother, my favorite person in the world, had been reported MIA -Missing In Action- only two weeks before. Immediately afterwards, my father had died from his pancreatic cancer that we hadn't known about until a month ago. Then my mother, stricken with grief, had committed suicide, and four days ago my brother had been reported KIA -Killed in Action. Two days ago our house had been evicted for I had no knowledge that there was a mortgage that needed to be paid, and then today I had caught my boyfriend cheating on me. Everyone and everything I loved and cared about had been torn away from me over the course of half a month, and I had held in every emotion because I couldn't admit defeat. But this... this picture was just the world being cruel. My dad's own writing two years ago, back when I wasn't a senior in college and twenty one years old, mocked me. The flow of the writing, how the o's curled into themselves, and how he could never quite get his capital t's right, made me sick to my stomach.
I felt so tempted to rip the picture into pieces, but I couldn't. It would have felt so good, been so symbolic of a new start in my life, but I just couldn't loose the last tie I had to my brother and my parents; even my older brother's black and blue Vespa may have never been the same. It was too much, and I needed one of my friends to come up behind me, hug me, and tell me it was all okay, but all of them were attending seminars or sick in bed, and I was afraid that anyone I came in contact with would be destroyed, just like my family. That's why I was so surprised when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped my head around, and for a few seconds, I would have sworn on my loved one's graves that I saw a boy with windswept brown hair, ice blue eyes, and obsidian black wings staring down at me, a few tears shining in his eyes. I thought I saw him whisper "I'm so sorry, Anabelle... for everything," but then he was gone, leaving me alone to sit in my freezing state on the unforgiving streets of New York, trying to sort through my broken heart.
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8:57pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 124
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asdf. this story. ; -; hnng. gimme your writing skills, please.
-cough-
well. uhm. ;u; /subs
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9:03pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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Oh...
You have no idea how much that means to me.
I've had people tell me my writing sucks before.
I'm just...
Thank you /eyes start to tear up/ :'D
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9:09pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 124
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Baha, they're crazy. ;o; your writing is just, asdf.
I personally love writing, but. I'd never have the confidence to post it publicly. T-T
but, gah. <3 The father's note. Almost cried. ;o;
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9:16pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 399
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Absolutely loved it. It gave me chills. xD Which is saying something because I haven't felt that way before when reading. I definitely want to see more! <3
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9:38pm Feb 7 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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6:26am Feb 10 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 638
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Meg you're soooooooooooo great at writing:D You're even better than my writing teacher ,Mrs.Butler, at school:D I love this story it;'s almost as if I'm watching a move:D
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8:24pm Feb 23 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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I'll write some more this weekend, sorry it took so long guys <3
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12:33pm Mar 15 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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*cough* yup, I'm a procrastinator all right :I
I will post some today. I promise ;o;
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12:55pm Mar 15 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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(This one isn't as long as the last chapter. I feel that it is also not as good. Sorry 'bout that)
~Chapter Two~
My heart beat louder than my wings ever had as I walked away from Anabelle that freezing spring afternoon. No one, especially not her, deserved that kind of torment. It pained me to watch her go through it, but it killed me to know that I was the cause.
My wings beat furiously to get away from this mess. I knew the further away from Anabelle I was, the less likely that the angels in heaven would further figure out that I loved her. They had already guessed, and that was what had caused her this much grief, but for them to be certain meant that all of her friends, relatives, and even acquaintances would be wiped off of the face of the earth. Then they would go for her. They would kill her, throw her into the deepest pit of Hell, and torture her for all eternity. God was never aware of this, and probably would stop it if he knew. But the angels were silent, swift, and insanely deadly, and there was no way for me to stop it from happening to the most wonderful human ever created.
I sighed as my wings finally took action and I soared away. I was no longer visible to mortals; I had the ability to turn my visibility on and off at will, but I felt like all of New York City was staring at me, accusing me for causing grief to the beautiful twenty-one year old girl on its streets. As I flew even farther from the city, I was aware of the death of someone Anabelle's age (fallen angels were aware of every death in their surrounding area). I knew that I had spent a moment too long around Anabelle, and I had caused one of her friends to go the same way that her family had. I blinked the tears out of my eyes and flew faster, trying to escape from my guilt and terror.
What most people don't know is that you have to pass Heaven to reach Hell. It is to cause torment to those who think they are going to Heaven but end up shooting past it at top speed. Well, as I was flying past the place from which I was banished, I felt eyes glaring at me. I turned, and to my horror, I saw the entire population of angels glaring at me. I felt all of the breath leave my lungs like a vacuum, and all of my strength seemed to join it. I had no doubt in my mind that they had a pretty decent guess as to why I had been visiting earth today, and they now had a target. A target that I had painted onto Anabelle. My wings locked, and I started to fall. Terror filled me, but not from my free-fall from Heaven to earth; no, I was terrified for Anabelle, who I had practically placed into the hands of thousands of angels who wanted her blood. I felt myself loose consciousness, and the last thing I saw was thousands upon millions of angels laughing at me.
They had a new murder victim, and they were thrilled.
I fully lost consciousness, and fell onto a large pile of snow in the heart of New York.
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11:03am Jul 20 2013
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Normal User
Posts: 9
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....This. This is amazing writing <3 <3 c: |
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11:09am Jul 20 2013 (last edited on 11:09am Jul 20 2013)
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Normal User
Posts: 4,744
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Dang... this has been dead for an age or two xD Thanks for the compliment btw
(don't lock this please staff I'd rather revive it) C: |
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