Book for kids around 7 or 8, I could use some ideas!!!!


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DragonSnap24

5:30pm Mar 22 2010 (last edited on 8:36pm Mar 22 2010)

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                                                       Chapter One

 “Savannah,” Mama called, holding open the creaky screen door. “It's your turn to wash the dishes.” She sulked all the way to the wash pan, and then slowly started scrubbing at a plate encrusted with egg remnants. Mama?” Savannah hesitated, braking the silence.                                                   She motioned for her to speak. “My birthday is comin' up awful soon, and, well, I was thinking could I have a horse?” Mrs. Cooper looked up from her embroidery work. “A horse?” She smiled dreamily out the kitchen window. “Yeah, a white one like a unicorn. I'd brush her, put bows in her hair and ride her all day long.” “Hannah, a horse takes a lot of work to keep up.” Savannah pouted, her hope taking a nosedive like fall apples. “But Mama, Jane got hers when she was my age.” Mama looked at her solemnly. “You're an entirely different person than you're sister.”                                     




Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
luvsarahdessen97

5:42pm Mar 22 2010

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Posts: 192

I like the idea a lot. Its really cute and 7 to 8 year olds love horses. But my only critique is to maybe make some of the sentences a little bit more simple. There very good, but just sort of difficult for a young kid.

And also, when a different person speaks, you just start a new paragraph. That may be from copy and paste (it happens to me), but just fix it. Its a common mistake

Anyway, It's a really cute idea and I like it a lot!

DragonSnap24

8:30pm Mar 22 2010

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Posts: 318

I agree that it's probably a bit hard for kids. It's actually for a kid I know who's about 9 or 10, and she LOVES horses, and she can understand it. I forgot that she wasn't 8, OOPS! Yeah the paragraph thing is from the copy and paste, i'll fix it.

    Thanks for the comments! PLEASE keep critiquing!

        




Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Mythalian

6:38pm Mar 24 2010

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Posts: 1,120
:) I like it



Twilight

9:37pm Mar 24 2010

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