Dead


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supernovastar

12:45pm Mar 18 2012 (last edited on 1:38pm Mar 18 2012)

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Posts: 1,256
Hey! I was looking through old files on my computer and found this poem:

The time has come to say goodbye
To moonlit kisses
Under a midnight sky
To golden sunlight
And skies so red.
Lying awake in my cosy bed.
To places far away,
Week long holidays in May.
To great long books
Pulling me in with the girl's pretty looks.
To pigeons begging for more bread,
And the young newly weds.
Little girls giggling,
At rather bad jokes.
And of course,
You can't forget the elderly folk.
To candy floss clouds
Filling the sky
Aeroplanes flying oh so high.
All these memories will be gone when I'm
Dead


I'm not sure when I wrote it - what do you guys think of it?




Albino Uilus 24/120
thevirginian

10:57am Mar 24 2012

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Posts: 11

wow realy good
Clouding

1:16pm Mar 25 2012

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Posts: 1,651


I think it's really well written, but some sentances seemed like they were 'force-rhyming'.
But other than that I think it's good. :3





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