ARGH I HATE DARK STORIES.

When I said I want critiques, I lied. If I get any critiques for this I think I might just faint o__o; Because I've already sent in my writing application and already my tenses and poor sentence structures are haunting and mocking me.

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Death’s Bane

‘Death’s Bane: A rare herbal remedy, black in coloration and sweet in taste that is said to be the first medicine to induce a patient to sleep. While the formula to make it is unknown it is said to contain juice of a plant only found on Relcore. There is only one known supplier in all four worlds.’

Man will always run from Death as long as they’re alive.

And yet I do not know why they try when it is inevitable. Perhaps it is the hope and desperation that they could somehow escape it before it consumes their mind, body and soul.

One man who was running from Death was our beloved king himself. Once upon a time he was great and proud king who looked after Scria and vowed to never bow down to any who dares to harm his homeland. But time had made him weak and fate played cruel tricks on him as he now fears the looming presence of Death. Neglecting his family and country and calling upon every medical genius across the four worlds.

As the court physician I have heard most of his ailments and the insults he threw at me were greater than any he had said to his ministers. I, who once won His Majesty’s Favour by being the boy who could heal, found myself being ignored by the king. He no longer seeks me for advice but instead resorted to dark magicians and their mythical potions. And the more I see him drink the potions of blood the more I see Death edge closer to him, beneath her hood her lips twisted into a smile. But he did not listen to me no matter how many times I tell him to stop. I soon found my position threatened and the thought of being unable to support my family haunted me even in sleep.

I took leave of the palace, as.suring the king I could find him better solutions than the revolting potions of drindian blood and lies that he took, and travelled across the four worlds. I took with me a zaphao which I had found when I was still a young child. She had eyes like lightning and a heart that could not be won no matter how much attention you gave her.

We travelled to Atquati and I went to visit the old guardian. She was lying bedridden and her young ward, Palora, was by her side. I explained to her the situation of Scria and asked for a solution. She coughed and sighed, “Your king fears Death too much to ask her.” She closed her eyes, “it’s such a shame for she is not such a horrid child.” No amount of persuasion would let her say anymore and in the end my heart sank. I knew no other way to fulfil my quest.

I travelled to Relcore, my zaphao and I, for I did not want to return and watch the disappointment on my wife’s face. We travelled until one day my zaphao fell ill and collapsed. We rested by a tree for I could not move her without her yelping in pain. I stroked her head; she will not live long. I looked about, hoping for an herb that would ease the pain and noticed a cluster of peculiar, red flowers by the ledge. My grandmother was a well-known herbalist and had detailed accounts of several species, vaguely I could recall a similar flower but could not recall its properties. I picked a few and began to grind their black heads and crimson petals, pouring its clear juice into a small vial. I knew not why but perhaps it is because I must.

That night I dreamt of my family and the face of my beautiful wife and they were laughing and they were at the other side of a field of red flowers. I ran to them and I tried to run to them. But a zaphao, my zaphao, hobbled between me and them and I stopped. She broke into strange convulsions and then yelped before doing a somersault and appearing as a woman. No, the queen of Scria. No, a spirit. And then I looked back to the other side of the flower field and I no longer saw my family but a swirling storm of red. In the middle of the storm was a dark-skinned demon with white eyes. She was beautiful but I dared not go to her and her brow knitted in annoyance. The spirit shrieked.

I woke up but the zaphao was still shrieking, whining from the pain. I stood up and walked over her and cradled her head and my eyes wandered to the red flowers by the ledge. I took the vial from my pocket and gently tilted it so a few drops fell into her mouth, her heart thudded against my lap. I bent down, kissed her head and told her that I could take care of myself. Her chest gave one final shudder and she closed her eyes. The next morning I buried her by the red flowers and I travelled to the Portal Nexus.

The king was a mere shadow of himself when I saw him again. His son had seized the throne from him and had begun to undo his wrongs. And now he lies in his bed, deranged and frightened even by the mere flicker of a candle. I entered the room and saw his wife on one side of his bed and Death on the other. The queen stood up and asked about my business and I told her.

“There is one way to save him.”

She nodded and cried. I told her to hold his hand as I knelt by his bed. He looked at me, his eyes darting in fright but unable to see. He told me how he did not want to die and I told him that I will make sure he doesn’t for I know how to destroy her.

He smiled and tears rolled down as I injected the blackish fluid into his arm and told him to go to sleep. And as he closed his eyes I saw Death knit her brow in annoyance once more and left, the king’s heart stopped beating as she did. She may have his body and his mind but in the end I knew exactly where to hide the soul she desires the most.

That was a wonderful story.  ^^;  I don't think I have anything to critique, partially becuase I don't want you to cringe, and partially becuase there isn't really anything to change.

Best of luck on your writers applications!  ;D