Okay, don't ask about the ti
tle. It has nothing to do with this. What is this? Er... a really random piece of writing which I MIGHT continue. But to be honest, I have no idea. I don't actually know where the place is, or what will happen.
Critisism is greatly appreaciated, as is comments. :)

    Eleven children, seven boys and four girls, slowly traipsed into the large, smoke-coloured building. The high iron gates were locked securely, and when the children were inside, the large metal doors creaked shut.
   “Righ’, you lot. Line up now,” said a short man with black, scruffy hair, overgrown stubble, cruel green eyes and old worker’s clothes. He paused for a moment, examining the new batch of children. “Bit scrawny, I guess, but you’ll do.
   “First thing you gotta know ’bout this place is that there’s no escapin’ it. Anyone ’oo tries’ll dead before you can say ‘Bob’s yer uncle’.” He grinned, showing that half his teeth were missing. “Secondly, anyone ’oo’s naugh’y’s either killed or sent to the cooler. What’s the cooler, you ask? The cooler is a tiddly little room that’s below minus ten degrees, with spikes on the walls, and the door padlocked, bolted and padlocked again. No pickin’ locks’ll get you outta there ’cos it’s locked from the outside.”
   “An’ I ’ave power ’ere. I can kill when I want to,” he curled his fingers around the neck of the snake hanging round his neck, and it fell limply down his body. “Like tha’.” He grinned again.
   “Who said we even want to be here? Who said we’d not rather die?” said a large boy who was standing in the middle of the line.
   “You’d rather die, would yer?” said the man, taking a step forwards. “Fine by me.” He pulled out a knife from his pocked and slit the boy’s throat. “Anyone else wanner die now?” he shouted.
   Silence was the only reply.

“Righ’ then, follow me through to the newbie’s room, an’ put on some o’ our uniform. Some of ’em may ’ave fleas, but you probably won’t ’ave ’em for long, since I reckon most of yer’ll be dead by mornin’.”
   Some of the girls handled their clothes with a little more caution after that, then the group followed the man into a freezing cold room, which they were quickly lead out of. The man explained that it was another barrier to stop escapees. If you were in there for more than two minutes then you’d be certain to die of cold, plus, there would be guards on the other side.
   They were then taken through the worker’s room, where the girls would spend most of the day, and many women looked at them sympathetically.
   On the other side, there was a large hall for eating – two meals a day, breakfast and dinner. On weekdays and Saturday the meals were bread and water for breakfast, occasionally with the scraping of butter, and lukewarm soup. On Sunday there was lunch, too. Breakfast was the same as usual, lunch was one fifteenth of what had been grown by the older people in the gardens and dinner was a small roast – normally half cooked and not even hot, but it was more filling than normal.
   Then were the bathrooms, boys and girls shared and next the bedrooms. There were two people to a wooden bed with a thin sheet and pillows.
   “Okay, you lo’! Listen up! You’re gonna start work straight ’way. Boys to the stables, you’ll be helpin’ with the muckin’ out and pig slaughterin’, beware of the slaughterer, he likes to kill you off too for a laugh sometimes. Girls to the worker’s room, where you’ll be helpin’ the women weave clothes an’ you’ll be pickin’ up loose bits o’ wool – it’s quite stuffy through there. Be back at the hall by eight, you’ll know when cos a gong’ll ring.”
   And with that, he was gone, leaving the children bewildered.
   They walked off to their destinations, all but one as if in a trance.
   Lienna followed the other girls to the worker’s room, but whilst they worked like robots, she carefully looked at her surroundings for any possible means of escape.
   The House was known for keeping people prisoner until their death, but she knew one person who had escaped. His name was Vin.
   “The House was horrible – inside; stuffy at sweltering, outside; cold and scary. Being a boy aged fourteen, I was sent to work outside. I was sent to work in the stables, but unfortunately, my friend, Roger, was sent to help out in the slaughterhouse. The cows had just been raised to the perfect age for slaughter, so they were up next.
   “It was then that I realized what our guide, Jed, had meant when he said the slaughter man, Horis, had a wicked sense of humour. Horis loved to laugh – especially when he saw them, small and underfed.
   “I was watching from the stable I was cleaning, and heard a few nasty comments then snorts of laughter.
   “Then there was silence. I couldn’t help but glance round... just in time to see Horis raising the axe over his head and bringing it down to slice Roger’s neck.
   “Tears beginning to prickle in my eyes, I turned back to my work with my head down. But I wasn’t just working, I was thinking of a plan to escape.
   “The... creators, or owners, of The House thought they had everyone kept in for good – no windows. The only doors were the one through the cold room, which was locked and guarded, then out the entrance, but that was guarded on both sides by three strong men and locked and bolted, then you had to get through the secure iron gates. The other way out was through the gardens. Two guards, locked door, two guards, another locked door, three guards, fifty metre high brick walls, thorn bushes down the other side, and a lake. Again, no chance
   “But before I had been taken away to go there, I had researched it as deeply as possible, and had discovered what the owners had tried desperately to cover up. Nearly three hundred years ago there was a mass breakout, everyone escaped, and the owners had no idea how. They searched the place from top to bottom, but the escapees had made sure to cover up any signs of how they got out.
   “The secret was underground tunnels which had taken years to develop. The entrance I can’t remember, but it was a dark room not far from the eating hall...
   “I brought a candle with me, and one night, leaving behind any traces, I escaped.
   “Of course, I have never been free since, they are always looking for me. But at least I am no longer there...”
   Vin was Lienna’s great-uncle, and secretly she vowed to make him proud and escape.

Firstly, you might want to re-read your speech out loud. There's somesome errors such as a missing 'be' xD

Secondly, I think you dived into this too quickly. I understand this was from a random spur of the moment but maybe relax and let it settle a bit, there's no point in people reading if they can't even grasp the context! xD;

Also, erm more deion and not many strange random bits such as having a snake all of the sudden! One of the problems is by making this place seem more menacing and frightening, you add a lot of details that actually detract from the mood and sound erm...both impossible and odd. Such as the snake I mentioned before and the idea that there's a room where people could die if they stay for more than two minutes. It's rather incredulous and people might end up taking this less seriously.

Also, let people learn to discover things themselves! You reveal so much in so little that it makes everything seem rather boring. Again, you do it to show how dangerous this place is but it's not necessary! One of the greatest tools of fear is the unknown after all! When kids put on the uniform, they should be the ones who discover the fleas rather than the guide telling them, I doubt he would know nor care, he might enjoy it more when people put the uniforms on only to be disgustedly surprised by the fleas or quality.

Finally how old is Horis if Vin is Lienne's great-uncle? Unless they take adults as well which I somehow doubt. It's a bit too vague and I think no one could understand what this House is clearly enough!

Sorry 'bout this! It has the basis of a good story but I think the fact that it lacks a lot of planning, it's sort of lacks the appeal in reading in a way xD; I'm not saying you're bad at writing but I think this i more of you laying down your idea for a story xD;

But don't give up! I'm only one opinion and I don't know how others may feel about this! Maybe this isn't up my alley anyhow xD

I have to say, I agree with Raru, though I won't say more since she/he has said it well enough, you don't need to see it twice, no? hahaha
My suggestion would be, slow it down. I do the same thing with stories, trust me. I go into the story too fast. xD