10:17pm Mar 12 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
I got bored so. Here's a story. :D
This is how the Lake Guardians came to be...and...such. Enjoy.
“I won’t let you
die!” Spirit screeched, clutching the slightly smaller than her boy in her arms
tightly. The tiny boy tilted his head up at her, his eyes closed tightly.
“Spirit I can’t…hold on…any more…” Wiping the tears that were cascading down
her cheeks, Spirit brushed the golden hair away from the infant’s eyes,
revealing a small red gem on his forehead. “I thought we might be the Chosen
Ones that would save the world from destruction but…it can’t be. Not without
you.” Letting her final tear drip onto his limp body, Spirit gently laid the
boy into the lake, and whispered, “Long live Xie.”
-
Zelf paced anxiously around the body, his head growing
weary. No…Spirit couldn’t have died! He wailed silently, staring at his
motionless sister in distraught awe. First Xie, then her…I must be next. Zelf
thought bitterly, watching as even more blood pooled from Spirit’s body.
Carefully, he lifted her into his arms and cradled her, before relentlessly
placing his sister into the lake and watching as she floated down…down…
-
Zelf watched as his own blood slid from his body, every drop
making him quiver in pain. “This isn’t how I wanted it to end!” He howled,
shaking as his body gave another spasm. It was so weird, he mused, that
whenever each person came to a different lake due to an urge, we randomly start
bleeding…he shook the thought, and could only watch his own life draining from
him. Finally, the last amount he could survive on flowed out, and everything
went back…
-
Xie sat up quickly, his eyes clamped as tightly as they were
when he perished. Bering a look of pure confusion, he muttered, “Where am I?
And why do I have…a tail? Where’s Spirit? Why am I so cold? Why is my hair
gone? Why…” Questions swirled through his head rapidly, each one more confusing
than the last. All he knew was, he felt odd, like some sort of creature.
Feeling himself quickly, it didn’t take long to realize that he was now a
Pokemon. (ßFail
paragraph right thar.)
(Continuing tomorrow. c:)
|
3:42pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 5
|
no offence but those suck
Your lucky Im irish
|
3:42pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 5
|
they are to girly
Your lucky Im irish
|
5:06pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
...No offense freaking taken. That was very hurtful, adding "no offense" to the start makes it no less offensive. If they are too girly for you, then go read some freaking Stephen King or something. Please, if you are going to comment on my work, say something that will help my writing stills in the future, thank you. c:
|
6:39pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 5
|
I do read stephan king it is good and so are my sisters stories
Your lucky Im irish
|
6:48pm Mar 17 2012 (last edited on 7:08pm Mar 17 2012)
|
Normal User
Posts: 733
|
WereMock, that's... really, really rude. Especially to say that others' stories are good, and not Sona's. She's not Stephan King and she's not you sister. She has her own writing style. The point of her writing this was to receive helpful critique, not to hear about others' writing. That's what the writing board is for in the first place O.O
Sona, I really liked it, you have a wonderful writing style, keep at it!
|
6:50pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 5
|
Well I do not like those kind of stories I like horror stories but this is a um fairy tale type I mean no harm but my sister makes comics and horror stories
Your lucky Im irish
|
7:20pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
Well go read those then, instead of wasting your time hurting my feelings. Maybe it isn't your style, but you don't have to waddle in and call my work crap because you don't like it. It's sort of a fairytale, (More like Creaturetale, if that were a word) yes, but I can write horror stories and atually fancy them more than these, but I wanted to try a new writing style and LOOK AT THAT you come in and say it sucks.
Thank you so Gui. <3
|
7:30pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 5
|
well then I will go spread the news that one of her tales might be published oh and bye
Your lucky Im irish
|
7:34pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
Good for her. :/
Well, thanks for stopping spamming my thread. ^^;
|
11:21pm Mar 17 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 29
|
Im sorry about my brother but I do like your story.it is really good and you here I might be getting my frist book published well if you keep writing it you should publish it. Oh and my brother is new on rescreatu. But good luck on your story!!!:)
Kiss me Im Irish really
|
10:48am Mar 18 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
Thanks. ^^
|
4:56pm Mar 18 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 29
|
welcome and do not mind my brother he really hates reading but you should be a an author
Kiss me Im Irish really
|
9:18pm Mar 18 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
Aw, thanks! I want to be one, that's what I'm going to go to college for.
|
10:37pm Mar 18 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 29
|
Same we are o alike sometimes
Kiss me Im Irish really
|
2:22am Mar 21 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 895
|
OMG. I like the story. I love to write as well. I bow to a master.
|
5:02pm Mar 21 2012
|
Normal User
Posts: 4,355
|
Go bow to someone who isn't me then. ;D
Writing is my passion, but it doesn't mean I'm good.
But I still thank you just the same.
|
|