I just started - hope you guys like it! It's not great, but hey =P It's fun to write =)

Tahlia

  “We’re here!” shouted Dad, honking the horn loudly.

                “Dad...” I groaned. My father, loud and a little crazy, braked suddenly, sending suitcases and pillows ploughing into me. His job had just landed him a ‘house’ in some backward area in Brisbane.

                “Come on, Tahlia, out ya get! Wake the sleepy-headed brother of yours while you’re at it, won’t you?” Dad got out, slamming the door behind him. The noise echoed painfully loudly in the quiet, peaceful street. I winced, and elbowed the tall, skinny teen beside me.

                “Jarrod, we’re here!” I said.

Jarrod, who was, at fifteen, two years older than me. However, he had a mental problem called bipolar disorder. It meant that sometimes he became really depressed and other times he was lifted into a kind of maniac high. At the moment he was at risk of falling into another deep depression.

                “Where’s here?” he mumbled. His moody grey eyes flickered open and he swept a lock of dark red hair out of his eyes, kicking the door open.

                “Our new home,” I replied, trying to sound optimistic.

                “Great. What a dump.” He glanced up to the massive vintage mansion and I had to agree. The garden was green but bare, and ivy vines crawled up the walls. Moss covered the door and you couldn’t see through the windows. I sighed.

                “OK, Jay, let’s go and see what it’s like.” I said, using his nickname.

                “Probably nothing good,” Jarrod muttered and we entered our new house together.

I stood in the attic of our new house, staring at the large, empty space. There were two windows, both letting amber light slice through the dancing dust particles and yet it was still freezing. It was pretty peaceful, but something was wrong. I shivered.

                “Have you seen your new room yet?” yelled Dad.

                “I’m standing in it!” I called back, my voice echoing.

                “What do you think?”

                “Great!” I tried to sound happy. Creepy, was my actual impression. I started walking toward the window on the far side of the room, hoping that it would warm up if I opened it and let more sun in.

                “Better than my room,” said a different voice. I spun around. Oh. Jarrod.

                “You have got to stop sneaking up on me like that!” I scolded him. He shrugged, not meeting my eyes.

                “Not my problem.”

                “So where is your room?” I asked him.

                “Down the hall. You know, next to Dad’s.” Jarrod frowned. “He treats me like a baby. Everyone does. No-one cares.” His grey eyes were stormy and he glared at the floor.

                “That’s not true!” I objected. “We both love you very much!”

                “Mum didn’t. That’s why she left.”

                “It wasn’t our fault! She said so! She promised she’d be back! I...I guess she just fell in love by accident,” I ended quietly. Mum had left two months ago for some other snobby rich guy.

                “There are no accidents in this screwed-up world!” Jarrod jerked around and stalked off, muttering to himself darkly. His shoulders were hunched and tense. I sighed, and opened the window and leapt back, eyes wide. Did I just imagine it? Was that- no. It couldn’t’ve been. It was just my imagination over-reacting. I definitely did not see what I think I saw. Shaking my head and I turned away.

                “Lunch!” called Dad.

                “Coming!” I shouted back.

                “Whatever,” grumbled Jarrod.

I started toward the door, which Jarrod had kindly left open. But just before I left, I saw a single, beautiful white feather drift into the window, long and slender. It landed in a streak of light and was still.

---

LOL I just finished the next part. Here it iz!!!

Kai

Did she see me? I hope not. She must’ve! She reacted like...like she’d seen an angel. The irony slapped me in the face. And that stupid feather- I have to be faster! But it was impossible- she couldn’t’ve seen me. It went against everything I’d ever learnt. I crouched on the slanted roof, silently yelling at myself. I can still see the suspicion on her beautiful face...those big grey eyes...long, long smooth dark red hair...she looks like a younger, feminine version of her brother. I sighed. I hate my job.  

Tahlia

I ate slowly. The food tasted like cardboard. Same texture, too.

                “Crappy pizza.” Jarrod tossed his carelessly in the bin and sulked off, but the smoothness of that toss hit me hard. Jarrod used to be in the basketball team, one of the best. Before bipolar stole him away. Before Mum left. Before our world was turned upside down.

Dad’s face fell and so did the pizza, straight onto the tiles.

                “It’s not that bad, Dad,” I comforted Dad. He sighed.

                “Yes it is, Lia. Here, pass it. I’ll put it in the bin.” He held out his plate and I wordlessly stacked mine on top.

                “Go and explore,” he said. “I’ll clean up.”

                “You want some help?” I ventured, passing him my glass.

                “No, no. It’s OK.” Dad turned his back on me. “You go and have some fun.”

My dad works so hard for us.

~ ~ ~

I took a peek into the garden – and gasped in amazement.

                I stepped outside, and it was like moving into another world. The grass was rich and green, and the gardens neat and well-kept. The rows of flowers were a mix of morning glories and calla lilies. There was a pool of water, water lilies floating gracefully on top, and flashes of gold underneath the water’s clear surface. At the far end of the garden was an arch with a hammock underneath, and tangled into the arch were my mother’s favourite flowers – Queen Anne’s Lace. My eyes filled with tears as I remembered her going on about how they signified fantasy, and how fantasy was what kept the world going.

I walked over to the hammock. It was soft, dry and surprisingly clean. I frowned as I saw a single white feather nestled amongst a spray of the white flowers, and I gently picked it out, studying it. The feather was too clean, too beautiful to belong to a bird. Besides the only life I had seen here were my family and the fish. It had a sliver of gold in it on the left side, and I smiled. Then I attempted into the hanging clothe. I failed. Twice.

                Finally, sighing, I relaxed into the hammock and closed my eyes, twirling the feather between my fingers. I let myself drift, the gentle smell of a mid-day spring day sift around me. I let go of everything – there was just me and the world.

I don’t know how long I lay there, half-asleep, half-awake, in that trance-like state. It was around noon when I finally opened my eyes...looking straight into two large, beautiful blue eyes, the perfect match for the sky. I couldn’t speak, just stare. As the world came rushing back to meet me, I became aware of the sweetest, most honeyed voice ever.

                “Tahlia?”

                “Omigod.” I stared. Hovering – yes, hovering ­– over me was an angel. He had the most amazing face, with a light tan, those stunning eyes, perfect lips, and honey-blonde hair down to his collarbone. And, on top of all that, he had wings. Big, powerful white wings with golden tips; they were feathers identical to the two I had found. “A freaking angel. You’re an angel! An angel just talked to me.”

                “No!” The angel jerked away. His wings snapped together with a whap, and he fell lightly to the ground, landing silently beside me. I sat up, forgetting I was in a hammock, and promptly fell out. I tensed, expecting to hit the stoned ground hard, but instead I felt myself held by the angel. I looked up at him, and he looked down at me. He put me down gently, and I leant against the arch to steady myself.

                “Who are you? What are you? What are you doing here? You’re an angel! What’s your name? Oh my god I’m talking to an angel!” I stopped, embarrassed, all too aware of the fact that I sounded like a retard.

                “No, no, no you shouldn’t be able to see me!” The angel stared at me, half in anger half in amazement. “You can see me!”

                “Who. Are. You?!” I practically shouted, still staring.

                “I’m Kai.” He was pacing, and I couldn’t help noticing how well-built he was.

                “What are you? An angel?”

                “No, not exactly.” He was still pacing, frowning furiously.

---

hng. -drools over Kai- yes already! I love how true to life you've been with Tahlia's reaction, I think I would be as incoherent as that too! I say true to life, as if people suddenly come face to face with angels in real life, but hopefully you know what I mean! Really cool, can't wait for you to write more! ^.^

I think I'll definitely be back to reading some more of this.

 I stepped outside, and it was like moving into another world. The grass was rich and green, and the gardens neat and well-kept. The rows of flowers were a mix of morning glories and calla lilies. There was a pool of water, water lilies floating gracefully on top, and flashes of gold underneath the water’s clear surface. At the far end of the garden was an arch with a hammock underneath, and tangled into the arch were my mother’s favourite flowers – Queen Anne’s Lace. My eyes filled with tears as I remembered her going on about how they signified fantasy, and how fantasy was what kept the world going.

I really like the deion you put into that paragraph. You're really great when it comes to describing things which is why I think you need to do more of that.

In these posts, there seem to be a lot of talking going on. You get what Tahlia is feeling, but only a smidge of it. I think you should expand on the character's thoughts and add more deion to each character's movements. Again, there's a lot of talking going on and a lot less describing. And from what I see, you're more than capable of doing well deions.

Other than that, here are some grammatical things that have gotten me.

Kai

I watched her go from my vantage in the old maple tree, watched that long red hair turn to fire as the afternoon sun struck it, watched her disappear into the old house.

                So much like her...

Frowning, I realised what I was thinking. I shook my head – there would only ever be one girl for me, even if she had lied, cheated and broken my heart.

   Sighing, I let myself fall from the tree, flicking my wings out at the last moment. I soared straight for the clouds – I may not be able to leave her but I can go as high as I want. I jumped – yes, it is possible to jump whilst flying – when I heard wing-beats behind me. All the Fallen Guardians I knew were unstable and possibly deadly. Then, a second afterward, I recognised the almost silent, powerful wing strokes. My heart stopped and I nearly forgot how to fly as memories came racing back in a giant, painful flood.

                “Katrina.” I acknowledged, smelling her delicate perfume.  

                “Oh please. It’s Kat, Kai.” A smooth, velvety voice murmured in my ear. A tall, striking girl was flying beside me. She had cat-like golden eyes, long black hair and tan skin. Her wings were black, tipped with gold.

                “Kat, then.” I tried to look away from those dangerous, alluring eyes, but she gently turned my face back to her’s.

                “How have you been?” she asked me, her fingers brushing down my cheek. I shivered.

                “Fine. You?” I struggled to keep myself from falling for her – last time I had she’d broken my heart.

                “Never better.” She smiled, revealing vampire-like fangs.

                “Glad to hear.” I said, looking away. She moved closer and touched my lips, inevitably drawing me back. My heart beat faster- how long could I last?

                “You miss the Laryn, don’t you,” she murmured. The Laryn was where Guardians lived – the not Fallen Guardians that was.

                “As if you don’t know!” I cried, jerking away. “You are the reason I got kicked out! I loved you, and you didn’t give a damn! As soon as you got what you wanted, you left me! And where did that leave me? Yeah, you got it. Homeless, with no idea where my mortal was, where you were, and how I would survive! I’m slowly dying, Kat, and you don’t even care.” I jerked away from that beautiful, beautiful creature, so dangerous and so tempting.

                “I love it when you get all angry,” she sighed dramatically, and her intense gaze sharpened. “I didn’t force you to follow me, Kai.”

                “But I-”

                “You chose. It was your own fault you’re stranded down here,” she hissed contemptuously.

                “You promised,” I choked out. “You promised that if I followed you you’d love me. But it was a lie. It all was, every kiss, every touch.” My eyes stung with bitter tears, and I took a deep breath. Kat flew closer, wrapping her arms around my neck. She smiled gently, the perfect red lips curving.

                “I never keep my promises,” she whispered, and kissed me. I stiffened, but it was too much. I closed my eyes and let her take me, lift me, carry me. It lasted an eternity but only a second. Her touch set me on fire, and it felt like the world would end when she drew away.

                “Kai, Kai, Kai...” she sighed, tracing a finger down my chest. Suddenly, she shoved me away. Smiling darkly, she said, “find me, Kai, once that mortal of yours is dead and we’ll be happy. But don’t be too slow- my patience is already fading.”

   And in true Kat fashion she vanished, leaving only a throbbing, living ache in my heart.

What do you guys think? I think I'll change Kat's name... but I don't know what to =P Suggestions?

Is this one of the first times you've properly written from a guy's perspective? Because Kai's emotions and the way he's portraying them sound very feminine... or is he still quite young?

I think the name Katrina works well, but when it's shortened to Kat it is pretty similar to Kai... I had a thought, something like Aleera? Because it sounds kinda like 'allure' which she clearly has a lot of! I dunno, that's the only thing I've come up with so far!

But yeah, it's really good, keep going! The plot thickens... ^3^

LOL yeah I've never written from a guy's perspective before :/

Aleera...hmm...I like it. Can I use it? =)

 Thanx =)

Er, yeah of course you can use it! I didn't think you'd like it xD but yes, go ahead!

LOL thanks! Here's the next bit...

Tahlia

That night I was plagued by an onslaught of dreams.

            Kai and I stand on the cliff, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, his fingers tangled in my hair. I put my hand on his cheek, meeting those amazing eyes. Feathers drift dreamily around us, and the warm morning sun baths us in glorious light. His beautiful wings were spread around us.

            “My angel,” I murmur  softly.

            “All yours,” he smiles, and leans forward. I tilt my head...

It was freezing cold and the wind bit. I was standing on the sidewalk outside a school – my new school. The rain was icy, but I hardly notice it as I watch two shadows ahead of me kiss. Two beautiful Fallen Guardians, their wings shielding them from the rain. Kai and Aleera.

I take a step forward...

She’s pretty, with long brown hair and grinning, light-green eyes. I recognise her from a few of my classes.

            “Celia, I’m Celia.”

Jarrod stands on the same cliff edge Kai kissed me for the first time on, and looks back at me. His face is screwed up against the wind and he screams at us,

            “I’m going, Lia! I don’t belong here!”

I race forward. “NO!”

But he jumps, silently disappearing into the howling wind...

He’s got shining, intense green eyes and naturally spiked black hair. He’s tall, taller than Kai with disarming good-looks. He says,

“Hey, Tahlia. I’m Matt. It  is Tahlia, right?”

I am crying, the tears streaking down my face. It’s so cold. I’m lying on the sand, wet and miserable. He doesn’t love me he doesn’t care for me it was all a lie it’s all Kai’s fault...

Matt kissed me, deep and dangerous. So different to Kai. I let myself lean into his arms, and he tilts his head to get closer. We part for a second before he leans in again and I eagerly accept, dizzy with the feeling. One hand is cold on my stomach, lifting my shirt, the other tugging at my jeans...

I woke covered in sweat. The sun hadn’t yet risen, and I was sleeping on the floor in a sleeping-bag in the living-room. On the other side of the room slept Dad and Jarrod, Dad softly snoring. I smiled.

 I could just make out the clock above the cold fireplace – 5:00 AM. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep so I headed toward where I thought was the shower, grabbing a towel and clothes on the way. I padded up the stairs, along the hall, and opened the third door. The toilet. I opened the fourth door. The spare bedroom. I opened the fifth door and slipped inside – the bathroom. I twisted the taps, surprised at how silently and smoothly they turned. Flicking the switch on I noticed that the bathroom was quite big, and very modern. Everything was white and shiny.

“Kai?” I mumbled, half-expecting the – what was he again? Oh yeah, a Fallen Guardian – to appear, but he never did.

So I stepped into the awesomely warm water and closed my eyes, letting the shower wash over me. I sighed and just stood there, wondering if I’d imagined the whole thing.

                After my refreshing, energizing shower I snuck into the kitchen, opened the cardboard box with crackers and stuff on the lid, and grabbed a box of cheddar-flavoured biscuits. Then I crept through the living room and through to the back door.

By now the sun was up, and I could finally hear life. Birds were singing loud and clear, and bees buzzed around the flowers. The fish swam in a frantic loop in their pond making the water lilies bob and splash, and I tossed them a few broken biscuits. It was fresh outside, but not cold. I made my way over to the hammock, scrambling into it and starting to rock. I wanted to get as much ‘me’ time before Dad woke up and we started unloading our stuff.

   Picking a flower, I twirled it in my fingers and wondered.