[[Oh, I probably should have posted this next part here instead of on word. 8I
And thank you, Spirit! ♥]]
December 20th, 2037.
They held his funeral today. You were there, saw it with your own eyes. Your own eyes which didn't shed a single tear. No, there's plenty of time for crying when you're alone - something there will be a lot of in the future. So no need to cry, as everyone stood up and said their piece on how amazingly beautiful in personality he was, how handsome and funny. All these people who wouldn't have given him the time of day in life suddenly deciding they loved him once he was dead. It was utterly pathetic, that they thought anyone gave a damn what they thought about him. He never would have. He wouldn't have wanted this.
He wouldn't have wanted them to call what happened a 'mistake'. Wouldn't have wanted for them to call running out of coffee and having to go to the store a mistake. No one mentioned that, probably no one but you knew why. Why it was all your fault. He wouldn't have wanted them to say they wished he'd gone to a different store, not gone at all that night. Donny had always said never to regret anything, because at some point, it had been exactly what you wanted. So you will try not to regret complaining about their being no coffee. Try not to wish you'd tried harder to convince him it didn't matter.
Try as hard as you want, though, you'll always remember it was your fault. Always your fault. He's gone, you're not, that's all there is to it. Until, that is, the police finally find out who did it. No, then it'll be a different story altogether. There won't be anything standing in your way then. Legal or not, you will get what you want. You just have to make sure no one realises that until then. It shouldn't be difficult.
But the song they played at his funeral, why did it have to be that song? He always loved that song so much... You'll never be able to listen to it to remember him now. All you'll remember now will be black garments and ash white faces, not lazy days spent in the heat of summer on the beach, in the waves, in each others arms... No, now you won't remember that song like that. Donny had always said he wanted them to play a song he hated at his funeral, but no one had dared to ask your your opinion.