So I wrote this story. About a cat, whos name is Ice. The plot hasn't really thickened yet, and it's pretty short seeing as I started in 3 days ago. XD But I'd really like some feedback.

Thankyou! ^_^

Prologue

The evening sun poured like blood from the sky, flooding over all. A blackbird chorused raucously at the top of an old and extremely tall Totara, and a red-scaled skink lay on a boulder beside a slowly trickling stream. It was soaking in the very last of the sun’s irrevocable rays before the deathly shadows of night fell upon the world. The forest, however, was already dark and mysterious…as it always would be.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” A voice whispered through the gloom of the trees. Two golden eyes glared challengingly at the silhouette of a thin cat.

“It’s not a good idea, of course it isn’t. It’s a brilliant idea.” The emaciated felis replied maliciously. The golden eyes blinked. Defiance glittered in them for a second, and then it vanished.

“As you wish,” The voice answered. A thickset black feline emerged from the shadow of a Ponga fern. His whiskers twitched nervously.The silhouette of the other cat twitched its tail.

“We depart as soon as possible,” it hissed. Its voice was cool and quiet, but reeked of spite and dispute.

“The troops are ready now, Sanguine,” the black cat meowed, dipping his head to the other. Sanguine stepped out of the gloom and faced the black cat nose to nose. She was skeletal, impossibly thin. Every bone under her white fur stuck out rigidly through her powdery, gray membrane. She nodded.

 “Go, Anchor. We must leave at once,” she growled. Anchor dipped his head again, and disappeared.Sanguine arched her thin back, white fur prickling.

“At last…the time has come…”  

 Chapter 1 - Insolence

Ice yawned. Her pink tongue rolled back into her jaws as she displayed her gleaming set of razor-sharp fangs, and she arched her back lightly, her light gray fur rippling down her spine.  Finishing her invigorating stretch, Ice trotted quickly over to a sandy bank, scattered with multicoloured pebbles, which sloped lightly down to a bubbling stream. Small fish darted about in the shallows, too fast for a cat’s nimble paw, and too small for a decent meal anyway. Ice curved her neck over the swirling water, and parted her jaws slightly to allow her tongue to flick out. After swallowing several mouthfuls of frosty water, Ice straightened up and lifted a paw to scratch at an ear. She dug her claws tenderly into a patch of matted fur, tugging at the knot. She let out a gasp of pain. Untangling her claws, Ice returned her paw to the ground and shook a tick off her foreclaw.

“Got you, little beast!” She snarled, unsheathing a sharp talon and stabbing the tick through the back. A small amount of orange ooze spilled from under its crackly outer skin. Ice batted it away with a surge of satisfaction. The tick had embedded itself in a tangled clump of fur behind her left ear several moons ago. It had been bothering her and itching madly since, and how many times she’d tried to get rid of it? She did not know. She was sincerely glad to be rid of the thing. Swivelling around, Ice got to her paws and padded casually into the cool shadows of the forest. After she had walked deep enough into the trees and ferns that she could no longer see the dusk light seeping through the bulky Kauri and Rimu trunks, she stopped. Ice knew this part of the forest well. She hunted and spent leisure time here often, and it was very prey-rich, meaning she could get a good meal as well as being able to provide some additional food for her Clowder. Settling herself comfortably on a prominent and well-worn tree stump, Ice pricked her ears for the sounds of a sneaky and mouth-watering piece of prey that thought it could get the better of her. She raised her nose expertly to detect the breezy tang of mouse, or the sharp, sour stench that a cunning ferret let off as it scurried around the seed-rich forest floor.

But suddenly, riding the breeze like an ocean current, a foreign smell crossed her scent glands. It smelled of crowfood, of dark and cold, of undeniable and pure evil. Ice could not identify it. It was something that she had never smelled in her life, or ever heard described to her by an older member of her Clowder. Sensing that it was close by, Ice slunk off her tree stump, crept behind a fern to the base of a young Manuka tree, and launched herself delicately into the branches. As she balanced precariously on the middle of a particularly thin and insecure bough, sinking her claws deep into the young bark, a frond of bracken across the clearing shivered, though there was no wind. Ice narrowed her eyes as the bracken parted, and a black nose, followed by amber eyes, flattened black ears and the thickset body of a young cat at the height of his strength emerged.

 “Fox-hearted scum!” Ice hissed under her breath, glaring at the black cat, who had now been joined by a whole party of other scrounging felines. The black cat that had first emerged, the one who seemed to be the leader of the Battle Patrol, was now explaining something in a strangely muted voice to his followers. Ice couldn't quite make out what he was saying. One or two nodded serenely, though,  as the black felis spun on his paws and directed them through a dense patch of nettle.

“Our scents will be covered by the nettle, as it is in flower. The nectar’s scent is so sweet that it will override ours,” Ice heard the black cat mutter. He led them through the nettle, flicking his tail in indication of the next turn.Ice was shaking with anger. She made to stalk along the branch and leap quietly to the ground, undiscovered, but she’d forgotten how thin and unbalanced the branch she’d perched on had been. Instead of slinking quietly away from the scene, she slipped. Her belly crashed painfully into the side of the tree as she scrabbled helplessly for a grip on the soft bark, which peeled away under her claws. Flailing for a pawhold, Ice tumbled through the air, yowling, and plummeted to the forest floor in a flurry of tail and fur with a loud and apparent thud. Several of the murderous-looking strangers, a tom with ruffled ginger fur and a she-cat with dark tabby stripes, turned at the noise. If they hadn’t heard the loud crash when she fell, they would have heard Ice yowling like a stranded kit as she plunged to the ground.  

“Well, well, well, what have we here?” The ginger tom snarled, backing out of the nettle he was half-submerged in. The tabby, who had already noticed Ice and was half-a-pawstep towards her, grinned toothily. Ice let out an unadorned but connote growl, warning them to keep back. The ginger tom bared his teeth.

“We’ll do what we want, won’t we, Scarl?” He hissed. His plumed orange tail lashed iridescently.

“We sure will, Cedar. We Dispar cats don’t take orders from sissy Tierra kitties!” She finished this insolent sentence with a dangerous spit, spraying the soft dirt in front of Ice’s paws with saliva. It was this, more than anything else, which angered Ice into rebelliousness. She fixed a hard blue glare on the mockingly-crouching tabby.

“Never,” She snarled, “insult my Clowder.” Scarl raised her head and yowled with laughter.

“Little puss-puss is making threats!” She simpered, raising a paw and ripping off the outer shell of a talon.

“Fine!” Ice meowed defiantly. “You want a fight? I’ll give you a fight, and you’d do well to forget it when you run from this clearing, screeching your heads off!”

“Screeching? Moi?” Scarl mewed disbelievingly. “We’d rip you to shreds before you could say ‘help’, my small-minded kitten. You sure you want to die?” At these words, Cedar grinned. The sight repulsed Ice.

“Well, you can do that,” Ice reasoned, shrugging, “if you can catch me before I get help!” And she leapt to her paws, which spurred dust into the Dispar cats’ eyes, and sped out of the clearing. She could hear Scarl and Cedar yowling behind her, and heard them crashing loudly through the underbrush that she’s already scaled.

“Get back here, vermin!” Scarl howled. But Ice smiled, weaving around and over ferns, rocks and tree trunks. Although Dispar cats were stronger and tougher than most of the other cats in the region, they knew nothing of agility. Tierra cats were swift, small and speedy, which allowed them to distract and confuse their enemies while dealing smart blows to the more vulnerable body parts, like te belly and neck.

 After several moments of pure sprinting, another smell hit the roof of Ice’s mouth. But, thankfully, it was not that of the enemy. It was the scent of Tierra cats, a dusk Border Party to check that all other Clowders were in line.

“Sycamore!” Ice screeched, skidding to a halt in front of the lead feline.

“Ice, what-?” He meowed, spinning to face her, his brown dappled fur rippling in the early starlight. But before he could finish, Ice cut him off.

“Dispar!” She gasped, panting. “Attack! Two chased me; the others are going to raid the Clowder!” Sycamore’s eyes widened, amber depths shining with rage.

“Right,” he ordered, “Birch, Feather, Sunshine and Stone, you will go to report back to the Clowder immediately. Beetle, as fast as you can, please, find Amber’s Party. They should be following the small stream to the Old Cave on the border with Cielo. Go!”  Sycamore grazed them all with his eyes, as though trying to detect an enemy among his own Clowder members. A little black cat detached himself from the group, and disappeared back into the trees in a flash.

“We’ll wait here for the other two,” Sycamore growled, crouching lightly, his hackles rising.

SUSPENSE!!!!