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9:09pm Oct 10 2009 (last edited on 9:10pm Oct 10 2009)
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Posts: 3,469
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Kioko is one of my roleplaying characters, and I thought it'd be cool if I wrote a story about her life. So, here I am. Since the first moments after she opened her eyes, Kioko knew she was different from her siblings. Instead of a dark pelt, she had a bright orange pelt. Born of a white and gold mother, and a blue and white mother, she was odd. This is her story.
As Kioko opened her eyes, she looked around. She saw the soft caring eyes of the wolf she knew to be her mother by scent. The wolf was white and gold, with large golden wings, the feathers ruffled. From the look of it, her mother was tired. Kioko looked around some more, and saw a black pelt. From the scent, it was her sister, Aurora. There was another furry mas$ closer to her mother. From the combined scents, it was her brothers, who were twins, Kirano and Kurano. Kirano was mute and deaf, but he was telepathic, Kurano was just telepathic. Their blue-gray fur was slightly wind-blown, though Aurora’s was smooth, as if recently groomed.
She looked down at her paws. They were a bright orange. She looked at her back and tail, orange as well. She sighed sadly. Her sister and brothers were dark colors, and were able to hide, while she was a bright color, easy to spot. She stood up, wobbly at first, and padded over to her mother, and curled up beside her.
"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters." |
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9:42pm Oct 11 2009 (last edited on 9:43pm Oct 11 2009)
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Posts: 3,469
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When Kioko woke up, there was a fat buck sitting nearby, with only a few mouthfuls left. At least, adult wolf mouthfuls. Her mother was asleep, sleeping peacefully, and Kioko didn’t want to wake her, so she crept over to the buck, and took a bite. It was surprisingly good. So she ate another bite, and was about to take another when she was picked up by her scruff. A scent wreathed around her, and she recognized it as her father’s. He was a blue and white wolf, strong and proud.
“Not so fast, little one.”
Her mother stirred, and her father set her down beside her.
“Don’t wake Fayte--I mean--don’t wake your mother. She’s been up for days looking after you pups.”
Kioko nodded, then turned to her sister, and crouched, stalking her, preparing to spring. Aurora took a step forward, and Kioko pounced, pinning the little black pup. She looked up to see her father’s reaction, expecting praise, but he was gone.
“Hey! Let me up!”
Kioko looked down at her sister, who was squirming under her paws. She released her, and bent her head apologetically.
“Sorry, Aurora.”
She sat down, but jumped back to her feet as the scent of deer washed over her. She was a little disappointed however, when she saw it wasn’t her father.
“Good morning, Uncle Ouka.”
She looked up at the red wolf. He had three black stripes on his back, to match his black paws and muzzle. He wasn’t really their uncle, but he was a close friend of her parents’. He bent down, and dropped a deer in front of Kioko’s feet. She hopped forward to take a bite, then looked up to Ouka, questioningly. He nodded.
“I caught it just for you pups.”
She smiled at him and took a bite of the warm meat. The blood was still wet, a sign of a freshly killed deer. After she had taken a couple of bites, she was joined by Aurora. After a few more, she was joined by her brothers. Kirano was eating silently, while Kurano ate slowly, pausing every now and then, probably talking to his brother. Kioko sighed. They had discovered their powers quite early in life. She and Aurora, however, had yet to find their powers.
Once she had eaten her fill, Kioko sat back, watching her siblings. After Aurora had finished, she curled up beside her mother, and gestured for her sister to join her. As her eyelids grew heavy, she heard Ouka talking.
“Lyanti, I wonder why the girls haven’t discovered their powers as early as the twins.”
"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters." |
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9:47pm Oct 11 2009
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Posts: 1,007
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Awww!!! Looooooove it!!! Can't wait to read whatever else you put! :D
And here we witness the rarely seen Pippit in her natural habitat. Let's observe |
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9:12pm Oct 16 2009
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Posts: 1,731
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It's cute and a good start for a story. C: My only problem is everything seems much to fast paced, and you use a lot of repetition. Try finding other words to varry up your writing; new words give spice and flavor. I alway use Dictionary.com for finding alternate words, as it has a thesaurus. C:
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9:26pm Oct 28 2009
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Normal User
Posts: 1,007
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bump ^^
And here we witness the rarely seen Pippit in her natural habitat. Let's observe |
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2:04pm Nov 11 2009
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Posts: 1,551
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It's well written (fast paced though). Is there more? |
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4:33pm Nov 11 2009
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Normal User
Posts: 3,469
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Mightmare: Not yet. quite a procrastinator...
"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters." |
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