Hey everyone! This is literally a spur of the moment scene I wrote. I have no idea who Kyle is, who the girl who is supposedly the narrarator is, or what there relationship was. But I thought of the quote, "We Live To Die," and suddenly I realized how true it was. Simple, yes. But true too.

I sit down at my computer desk, of course, without my computer since my dad took it away, and start rummaging through the draws, searching for a pen. Papers are overclouding the desk, laying ontop of each other and sprawling out against the wood. They are really the only thing I can see. Because my mind is locked on one phrase. Actually, more of one selection. That one of these papers would soon be plastered with my emotions, more importantly, my emotions to Kyle. And I don't know whether or not they will make any sense, because my thoughts are all just little pieces of string falling into one complex knot that only grew and never could be undone. So I guess my only choices are either to try to pull out those strings in that knot and work with that, or just take what I have and let it be.

Let it be. I can still imagine the words slipping off of Kyle's lips. He would say that to me everytime I would start frantically screaming about a situation, or putting my head in my hands, whispering to myself, "What should I do?" And Kyle would make it seem so simple. And okay, it really does seem so simple. I mean, it's three words, right? How difficult can they really be? But then I remember I love you, and how much those three words can turn a person upside down.

One thing I will always know and Kyle won't is that the shortest phrases always hold the longest meanings.

But that still doesn't mean we're equals. Oh no, we are not. Kyle is much higher, or stronger, or more knowledgable than I can ever be. I tell myself, when I start having my blood run with jealousy, that his knowledge is simply because of the way he was raised. That he would have been just like me, or even worse, if he went through my life.

But I was lying to myself whenever I said that. Because I knew, and every other person on this insane planet who spoke to Kyle knew the real reason why he was so smart. Because unlike the rest of the world, he didn't push the information out of way, fearing it would be something he wouldn't like. Oh no, Kyle accepted everything in his life that was thrown at him. Lucky for him, however, everything that was thrown at him was always good.

Another thing I learned to notice about him was he always said the exact things I didn't agree with. Everything he said was debatable to me. And Kyle knew it two. Sometimes, when we would be talking with a group, he would take something I told him earlier and completeley twist it around, glancing over at me with this stupid, boyish smrik on his face.

But as I think over how he would say everything I disagreed with, I start to wonder if maybe it's my fault. Maybe Kyle didn't always purpossely say what I didn't want to hear, maybe I just didn't want to hear it because it was coming out of Kyle's mouth. Maybe I was just being too stubborn and making myself the victim and him the guilty one.

Maybe that's what I've been doing all along.

I shake the thought away. Even when he's not in prescence, Kyle is still with me somehow. And I don't mean in that beautiful when-someone-dies-and-is-always-watching… kind of way. I mean the his-voice-is-always-running-through-my-h… kind of way. And every move I do, no matter how simple or daily it may be, I can always see in my mind, Kyle's reaction to it. Which is sort of funny, because he is the most unpredictable person I have ever met. And yet I can always picture what he would say to me.

So Kyle, I think to myself, as if he was literally inside my head and reading my thoughts like they were a diary, do you want me to write some more? Okay, I will. Do you rememember when you told me that we live to die? And I shook my head, saying that wasn't true, and you just told me it was over and over again? Well, Kyle, after you left, your voice was still playing through my head. Like an ipod, I suppose, stuck at full volume with headphones hot glued to my ears. I couldn't get it out.

I remember soaking your words in my mind, trying to find some complication with them. Rummaging through every letter, every space between them, destined to find some sort of flaw or misunderstanding within them. But in the end, you know what happened then? I found myself right back where we started.
"We live to die." Yes, Kyle, we do. And there is nothing we can do about it.