This is a story that one day in the future hope this will be published and sold in shops.
Here is a paragraph for you lot. Any comments are appreciated I just want to know how others think my story is going so far. Well there is more but too much more to put and read. Plus don't want to spoil it!
MONOLITH
ISLAND.... (Paragraph) Copy right of GoldenElegance, Do not steal.
There
it was, The star-liner ship. Big, Beautiful and grand. “OK, lets see here, Our
room number is 220.” I heard dad saying. This was it, The holiday I had been waiting
to be on was right in front of me! “Lets go and find our room then” Mum
suggested looking tired from the heat. Our cruise to the pacific ocean. We
started walking onto the boat when I heard someone shouting my name. “Jodie,
wait!” It was my friend Yasmin, We were meant to be going to together but she
had showed up late!
“I'm so sorry, We got caught in a traffic jam. “Hope it wasn’t sticky.” I
told her. “Oh ha-ha, I just got here and you already start with the jokes, What
room have we got?” Even though this was a family cruise my parents had got us
separate rooms. “My parents haven’t told me yet, I will ask now.” I ran after
my mum gesturing for Yasmin to follow me. “Mum!” “Yes.” She said turning round
to face me. “What room number is ours?” I asked half panting from the run. “Oh
yes, Room number 250, here is the key.” She handed me the key. “Thanks mum.” Me
and Yasmin went running up the corridor to see were our room was. “210, 220,
230... Ah 250!” Yasmin was in front of me and yelling the room numbers out like
reading a book and the numbers were in bold. “OK, lets see here.” I gave Yasmin
the key and she shoved it in the key hole. “Calm down we have two weeks.” I
reminded her, To the fact there was no rush. “I know but I want to get in the
pool before any rain comes.” I looked outside the port hole. Sunny, Not a cloud
in the sky. “What do you mean, Any rain?” I asked still looking outside, Nearly
blinded by the sun. “I just mean if any rain does come then we will have been
in the pool at least once in our holiday.” Yasmin managed to get the door open
a few seconds later without breaking the key altogether and we walked in. “Wow,
This room is beautiful!” I said. “It certainly is.”
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