My Failed Song


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Shao

5:40am Oct 21 2010 (last edited on 5:41am Oct 21 2010)

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Posts: 1,792

Idea came up while.. swimming. I know weird right? Well I just moved from a little "camp" where there were less than 100 kids in my school. Now I'm in a school with over 1000 kids and it's getting a little crowded. So I decided to try and write a song. Since I just have parts right now I'll work in finishing it (sometime this year XD) Please enjoy and critique as you like. Tune is kinda country actually. I'd post vocals if I could sing and if I knew how XD if anyone knows how please tell me. Well here it is, enjoy!

What, Who I

Verse:

It’s been a long time, since I saw my only home.

All the places I’ve been, they don’t compare.

It’ll be a long time, till I see you again,

Maybe not another time in all eternity.

Like a feather I am falling, falling into my grave.

 

Chorus:

What am I to ya?

Who have we been, where are we now?

Why should I be and who have I become?

Time has pas.sed, I still don’t know,

Whether to go forward or not let go,

I cannot leave or bear to stay,

I wouldn’t have it any other way,

Than to come home, and never leave again. 







ferrychik

5:45am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 3
awwwwww. :) shao this is beatutifull . i cant seem to make it rhyme in my head tho,,lol anywayz. good worrk
Fireelf

5:56am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 615
I love the chorus.  Nice work in progress.





Shao

6:13am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 1,792
thanks both of you, that means so much to me! :)






merecat

6:31am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 74
very nice shao :)



 http://www.photobucket.com Thanks to everyone who helped me achieve my goal of a black aerix :D
Shao

6:47am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 1,792
thankies Mere!






HappyMomCat7

7:08am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 66

I like it shao  nice words put together...

heartfelt




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Shao

7:10am Oct 21 2010

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Posts: 1,792
thanks so much HMC you don't know how much it means to me for one of my idols to praise my work :)






Tld

11:19am Oct 22 2010

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Posts: 5,998
The chorus is really nice c: I like how rhymes x] I'm usually really... really... bad at rhyming.



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