My hand shook as my put the bottle to my lips and took a sip. This stuff is nasty, but if I don't do it, I won't have any friends. I thought to myself, so I took another swig.
"Quit hogging Jen, geez. Share the wealth." said Jayda slurring her words, "You've had more than us" I handed her the bottle, she drank some pas.sed the bottle back to me and spoke harshly, “Finish it” So I did.
That was years ago, I'm 16 and a junior in high school. Once again I take a drink from the bottle. I am now immune to the taste, for I have had it so often. Leaning against the wall with Jayda and the others Jace speaks for the first time in months,
"What is the point of this, guys?"
“What’d ya mean what’s the point?” I ask him.
“Why do we do this? What is out there that we can’t cope with? I haven’t ever needed to drink so why do I? It’s certainly not fun, I’m leaving and if you try and stop me I will do something about it” We all just snicker as he runs off.
“What was that all about?” I asked Jayda who stares off at Jace in astonishment. She just shakes her head and motions me to give her the bottle. I take one last swig of the whiskey and hand it to her. She finishes it two gulps and deposits the bottle in the trash before giving Sebastien, Isobel, Maia, and Maryse a wild look. What it was all about I have no idea.
“Hey Sabby hand me a beer” Maryse asks her brother. He grabs a brown bottle out of the case and tosses her one. She cracks it open and asks, to no one in general, “Want a sip?”
“Nah” I say, “I gotta go buy some mouthwash then get home so mum won’t know I’m drinking. She thinks I’ve stopped” I tear away from the parking lot on my old, dirty, hand me down bike waving good bye to my friends. Upon reaching the nearest grocery store I drop my bike off knowing I’ll only be in there for a moment. I run down the aisle to the mouthwash, bring it to the till and pay.
When I get home my parents are asleep so I walk to the living room and slump on the couch and turn on the tv. I flip through channels for a few minutes before deciding there was nothing good on and head to my room.
I sleep restlessly. Dreams are bright, colourful and uncomfortable, until I see a figure. Small, short, glowing, with brown wavy hair and bright green eyes. It’s my best friend whom I met in kindergarten, and was friends with until I started to hang out with Jayda and her crew. Elizabeth stands there and motions with her hand to follow me. She leads me to a small room with a Tv and turns it on. The screen flickers before playing back scenes of my life. I see us running around in the field, playing with Barbies, and doing each others hair. Elizabeth turns to me and speaks in a light, airy voice, “You see how much fun we had? That’s something you can’t get back if you keep living like you are now.” She sighs and looks at me pitifully, “We were best friends. Why did you do this to yourself?”
“I-uh. I mean. I have to.” I stammer, not knowing what else to say. She continues to look at me with that pained, hurt ex
pression,
“Jen please. I’ve known you since we were 5.” Her ex
pression changes she’s now angry, “Why? What is it that you can’t deal with” without waiting for an answer she says something that shocks me, “You will see more people like me this week. People who will show you how to be better.”
I awake gasping. I clench the covers beneath my fingers, grasping them in attempt to stay upright. I look at my clock which states, 3:41 AM.
“Ughhh. Stupid dreams.” I groan, yet I somehow know that it was more than just a dream. I push it to the far corner of my mind and fall back asleep. I wake up again and this time, the clock reads, 7:00 AM. “Well at least I got more sleep” I throw on some old clothes eat my breakfast, a bowl of Froot Loops, and quickly put on some thick eyeliner then bike to the school. There I see Maia looking dazed, and not the kind of dazed we get together. Maia is the first to notice my approach and se asks wearily,
“Did you have a weird dream last night?”
“Yeah. Why?” I ask back.
“I had the same dream, I think. Was it about your old best friend?” I nod, “Did she tell you to stop living like this?” I nod again, “Me too, I don’t think I can do it anymore.” She gets out the final words and stumbles over to Jayda, the leader of our group and says so. Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a light whisper, Do what she does. Be smart like her. It takes me a moment to realize that’s Elizabeth’s voice. I shake my head and get the painedlook on her face out of my mind. Her voice rings in my ears and I try to ignore it. I know this isn't the right thing to be doing what I'm doing, getting drunk, high, hammered, smashed whatever your term is, every day.
We stand against our wall and drink as usual. The memories of my dream are too much for me to stand. I wave to them and head inside, I think I will actually go to all my cl*censored*.es today. I sling my backpack over my soulder and walk down the hall tipsy like. My english teacher is heading my wayI quickly turn right to avoid her. I don't know if I can face going to clas.s. The pressure is too much. Alcohol rises in my throat, my head feels like its going to explode. I don't have time to let out before I keel over and the world goes black.
I awake to a soft beeping and my parents staring over me a pained and anry look on their face. My mother shoos my step-dad away and asks sternly ,"I thought you stopped? You almost died today Jen. You were so intoxicated." I raise my hand to try and get her to stop but she just keeps going on,"What if you had died? What would me and Richard do without you?" I quickly interrupt her so I get a chance to speak, "Because I can. Because I have to" she just shakes her head angrily and leaves.
A few days later I'm back at home. First sleep back at my house and I have a dream about my little sister. She's 9 and wants to be following in my footsteps. My mother and her father have discouraged her numerous times saying I was "bad" and "not a good person". But I truly am a good person, just living the wrong life I guess. She looks at me with such sorrow that I can only ask, "Whats wrong Caydence?" she points behind me, and there I see the image everyone else saw of me when I p*censored*ed out in the hallway. On my side, long chocolate hair flowing off to the side, white tank stained with vomit. I buckle down and fall to my knees crying. I'm starting to wonder if Elizabeth was right. Should I be livng this life?
When I wake up it's almost 8:00. It's funny how I hardly go to clas.ses but I'm never late for school. I jump off my bike at the school grounds and people stare at me. I get confused before remembering they all must have been there when I fainted. Maryse and Sebastien look antsy they walk over and speak to Jayda in low hushed voices. Jayda screams profanity at them and they just walk away with the stream of kids into the school. I walk over to her with a fake chuckle, "What was that all about?" she shakes her head,
"They think their too good for us." she states although I know that's not the truth. If both Maia and I had the same drea, they probably had the same one as me last night.
The twinsturn before getting right into the school and wave. I turn to Jayda and roll my eyes, wanting to be on her good side for as long as I stay with the group. Party of three. Fun. Isobel says nothing and just glares at the twins.
"Hey Jayda, Isobel" I start.
"What do you need Jen?" Jayda asks and Isobel snicers.
"Have either of you had strange dreams recently?" Jayda stares at me wih an unknowing ex
pression and Isobel looks sockedand stammers, "I-I-I I'm not going to drink" as she ran away crying I turn back to Jayda, "Let's go to clas.s" she shrugs and follows me to our first clas.s Phys. Ed. "Ughhh, I hate field hockey" I groan and Ms. Grandeu looks my way startled. Two girls who hadn't been to clas.s since semester start.
We start by running laps before headed outside to where the weather has turned an ugly, wet and foggy temperature. The sky is grey and cloudy, the fields are wet and muddy. Yet somehow, I'm almost glad I came to this clas.s.
I take a quick shower after Phys. Ed. and head off to my next clas.s. Jayda grabs my shoulder and asks,
"What the hell are you doing?" I brush off her shoulder and say,
"I may as well go to next period." she sighs and heads outside to her wall.
Riding home after school I think at my day in amazement. I went to every period except irst and lunch. I was so proud of myself, thinking I might be able to graduate that I didn''t see the car coming my way. It hit me, not hard enough to do any real damage, but enough to break my arm. It hit the bottome of my bike and flew off landing on my right shoulder, breaking my arm in three places. Once again I'm at the hospital. Twice in one month. The doctor sighs as he sees me,
"Alcohol poisoning?" he asks the nurse quietly hoping I wouldn't hear. The nurse shakes her head impatiently and almost yells at him,
"Fractured shoulder and arm." and away she walks. Leaving me there, with my mother Lynn, Stepfather Richard and Hlaf sister Caydence, my arm not yet casted. Richard is so angry, not at the driver who hit me, who ironically was drunk, or me, but the doctor. Yes, it may have been expected, but no one should go as.suming things and blaming others. My arm finally gets casted, bright magenta, signed by all the nurses and the doctor who casted it, Dr. Ashley Fina, my family and the bigggest and best spot for Caydence.
My nights in the hopital are restless. Finally about a week later I can go home. First night back, strange dreams hit me again. This time its my cousin, pre-deceased standing there. All the beauty she had as a child standing in front of me as a grown woman. I didn't remeber her death, her accident. Much like the one I had,only, her father was driving.He was driving her home fromballet as a car smashed in to the side of teir staion wagon, killing her instantly.My uncle died soon after, suicide. He drunk himself to death. I remember all of this as I see her. Alcohol really does affect my life. It does kill. She looks at me and speaks in the voice she had as a five year old,
"Come with me Jennifer Lee. Come see your future." so I nod, swallow ad grab her outstretched arm and follow her into a dark room with a screen, much like the room Elizabeth showed me, only this one is scary and cold. I look at the screen, waiting for it to start. I turn to her and see not her beauty as a woman, but the rottin, decaying body of her when she died, but only for a few secnonds. She speaks softly, "It has started. This darkness, this nothingness. It's you future"
"But there isn't anything there?" I say and she nods,
"Exactly. keep this up. And that is your Future."
"N-n-no future?" I manage to stamer over the tears. She nods and speaks again, this time her voice as it would be when she was older,
"Correct. No Future"
I wake up at a normal time get dressed rush to school and speak to Jayda. I arrive at our wall pating, she just looks at me and laughs. I cut her laughing off, "Stop the drinking. Stop killing yourself. I'm done with this and if you refuse to change I'm done with you"I dash off and look back quickly over my shoulder to see Jayda there snickering, four more drunks joining her. Ienter the school take a deep breath and state, "I will have a future"
Many Years Later
I achieved my goal. I have a future. I am graduating from UNiversity with a degree in Education. From the day I quit to now, I have had only a few glas.ses of champagne. Both of which were on my wedding day. I'm 25, succeeding at life, happily married to a wonderful man and ready to a family. I am once again close friends with Elizabeth and Jaydastil refuses to listen to my reasonings. She can do whatever I want. I defied my prophecy, maybe she will hers.
((That is all I have for now. I am currently working on the rest. :D))
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