Shad is sharing poetry. what.


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Arrow

5:55pm May 22 2012 (last edited on 1:33pm Jun 21 2012)

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I can't remember the last time I posted poetry on here. Any sort of critique/comment on these poems are welcome. -shrug- Whack me hard with the critique bat, so long as you know how to do it properly. LOL I take criticism quite well.
Just a note that most of these pieces are going to be on the darker side. I only find inspiration for poetry when I'm depressed or angry. :> 

Untitled 
(By far one of my worst ones)

I don't want my neck to support my head
I want to let it fall, let it fall, let it fall
until it hits the ground with a big giant thud.
Then all my trouble will be gone.

Remembrance
(Possibly renaming. I like the ring to this one.)

Memories left tainted; 
a dark blot of ink rewriting
the past

Caught in nostalgia that isn't
even true

Perspective
(The story for this one is basically my perspective on the world. When people ask me on my perspective of humanity, I basically tell them that I see the world in "shades of gray." Therefore, this poem. 8I)

I shunned away the yellow
blue I left to drown
I buried orange deep below
and purple followed down
I tore apart the green
while red burned up in flames
The ashes fell and left I see,
a world in shades of gray.


--That's all for now, folks. If I get some comments, I'll post some more. xD--







hello my name is elder price
WolfieBelle

12:34am May 28 2012

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Posts: 6,409
Shad, these poems are pretty good. They're very unique, and I must say that the one, "Shades of Gray" is amazing. I can't really find anything to critique, so I'll just comment. All-in-all, they're pretty darn good.


Love is all we need~
CH

8:19am May 28 2012

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Posts: 7,283
^^ Like Wolfie said, I like Shades of Gray too. :DDD Great job, Shadow. :))  


Back from hiatus. Open to more roleplays!
Arrow

2:48pm May 28 2012

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Fankies, both of you. :3




hello my name is elder price
BOBISBOB

10:11pm Jun 1 2012

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Posts: 895
Shad, I love shades of gray. Gray's my favorite color. Could it be okay if I put it in my sig? I'd give you credit. 


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Arrow

10:20pm Jun 1 2012

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If you really like it that much, I guess so. I'd prefer it if you used a picture instead, so plagiarism doesn't happen (unintentionally on your part).

Just put this in your siggy: <img src=http://i1148.photobucket.com/albums/o561/rigirl61/Banners/ShadesofGraySiggy.jpg>

c:




hello my name is elder price
Arrow

10:24pm Jun 1 2012

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So I'm guessing I should plop some more stuff up? /derp




hello my name is elder price
BOBISBOB

10:29pm Jun 1 2012

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Posts: 895
Do you think you could look at my poetry thread I have just posted? 


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Arrow

10:44pm Jun 1 2012 (last edited on 10:44pm Jun 1 2012)

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Stranger in the wood
(Was told to write a haiku by the camp leader. I didn't want to write a friggin' haiku so I wrote this. LOL)

Soft is the murmur of leaves reveling
in the secrets passed
by the wind.

hushed is the ripple of stagnant water
broken only by the fall
of a leaf.

pity is the unspoken thought of the wood
as its blind gaze
finds you.

among the trees, you stand
in but outside: a Stranger
a Stranger in the wood.

Night
(Based on the book by Elie Wiesel)

Ashes rise from the mangled bodies;
spirits succumb to the flames.
Hollow eyes stare lifelessly at the others,
Animal or Man?--they ask.
Memories decay, Innocence dies,
and Humanity is forgotten.
Race toward death, toward peace;
what's the difference anymore?
Hope is crushed, ground to dust and scattered among the dead.




hello my name is elder price
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