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6:35pm Apr 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2,963
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Sorry. I just need to vent. Been carrying this with me for about 8 years. Maybe it'll encourage others with the same experience to step forward and not be ashamed like I was. *Everything included in the link is completely true. No exaggerating or downplaying. And I dont need pity. Im fine really. :)* If this is inappropriate, I'll make it unreadable by doing something totally epic....like editing this post and typing something lake rainbow monkeys or somethin. Shh. Dont tell. To forgive is to love. I cant forget, but I can still hold some little part of feeling. [/soppiness]
Resident mounted archer
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8:31pm Apr 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 192
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i clicked on the link, but it wont let me read it! I have to become a member but I don't want to. Copy and paste PLEASE!!!
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10:39pm Apr 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2,963
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....For you non dA members... "Lets play a game."
Okay
"Lets play hide and seek."
Okay
"1...2...3..."
I run to my room to hide.
"Come here to hide,"
Okay
"Get under me; she wont find you."
Okay
He's on top of me, heavy. He moves his body.
Forward and back, forwards and back.
Back and forth
What are you doing?
"Quiet. She's coming."
Okay
"Have you seen her? I cant find her anywhere."
"No,"
She leaves
Back and forth, back and forth, forward and back.
The game ends. i wasnt found. He says my name as i go to bed,
puts his fingers to his lips.
"Shh. Dont tell."
We're in the back of the truck, heading home.
It's dark, the sun''s gone to be.
The engine rattles beneath us.
We're alone,
We have to lie down or we'll be seen by police men.
He's pressing up against me, doing that thing.
Why do you do that?
"I have to. I have a bone that makes me."
Oh.
An unseen bump and He's suddenly on top of me,
mouth on my neck.
What is he doing? He's biting me,
teeth pinching the skin on my neck.
Get off me.
We're home. He grabs my arm.
"Shh. Dont tell."
i wont tell. He's my older brother. i love my brother.
In his room again. It's dark. The lights are off.
His room has no windows. Unzips his pants.
Forward and back, back and forth. Up and down.
Breathe in breath out
i cant breathe.
Please stop.
"Shh. Dont tell."
Eight years p*censored*. im a big girl now.
Take care of myself.
He touches me, little bit, whispers words only i can here.
i want to vomit.
i cant do anything. Dont want anyone else to hurt
or get in trouble.
i love my brother.
Shh. Dont tell. |
| Author's Comments But I did tell. Just now. Had to let it out some way. Dont really like talkin bout it. Dont like bein touched. People wonder why.
So, heres a question; is it molestation or rape if you dont know whats goin on?
This really happened. I was 7. End of story. ((Will edit this post if its not acceptable)) |
Resident mounted archer
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7:40pm Apr 16 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 192
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First off, I want to say how truly couragous you were to tell someone. Sexual as.sults are truly horrible and the men who do that to woman, especially young girls. Well, it is DEFINATELY molestation, and it may be rape. And don't ever think of yourself as the girl who got sexually *censored*ulted. Think of yourself as the girl who made it through getting sexually *censored*ulted. You did it. And now that you told, it is all over. I suggest that, if you want to, you read the book called "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse." Of course, I have never read it because I was fortunate enough to not go through something like that, but I read the comments on amazon, and people have said it has helped them beyond words. Good luck :) And if you ever want to Rmail me about your feelings, feel free too. I want to be a physcologist one day and this is great practice. Also, I am very into sexual abuse. I hate it, and I hate the people who laugh at it. |
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10:54pm Apr 16 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 6,216
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Sarah has said everything I wanted to. I'm glad you made it through, and you should be proud of yourself.
Wat.
ಠ_ಠ
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1:33am Apr 17 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2,963
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Thanks Sarah. I actually had the opportunity to let it go this evening. :) I dont usually let stuff like this out very often (Cause God forbid anything has happened since Mam found out *snickers*) but I dont really let it bug me, either. :) I'll see if the library has that book! Takk Reeses. ^^ I'm glad I did too.
Resident mounted archer
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3:12am Jun 19 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2,963
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((Just a bump...I think I like this...despite the roiling bitterness I feel. XD))
Resident mounted archer
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3:20am Jun 19 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 854
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Wow. Todeo, I honestly don't know what to say. I had similar experiences myself as a young child, but no where near the level of this. You're very brave to talk about this so openly. I still haven't told anyone in my family about the things that have happened to me.
"I WISH THAT PUNCTUATION HAD A PHYSICAL FORM SO I COULD SMOTHER YOU WITH IT."
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7:16pm Jun 19 2010
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Posts: 1,864
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You should, Mych. And Todeo, I know I don't know you, but I feel proud for some reason. Its never happened to me, but... I dunno. You're brave. I can only hope I would tell.
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7:34pm Jun 19 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 1,191
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You've inspired me to tell my experience. It wasn't rape, unfortunately, but it should have been. I cl*censored*ify it now in my mind for what it's done to me on the inside.
my name's russ and i only care about uldavi and cute men |
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8:11pm Jun 19 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 1,551
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There are poems out there that show some harsh sides of reality and how sometimes things happen-- and then you can see where the person is and how they've recovered today. This is one of em'. Good poem, for one. The style you wrote in it makes you feel for the girl, who you can tell is very young. Second of all... Very brave of you. <3
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10:55pm Jun 19 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 1,864
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Edit ur banner, Reeses. Dl
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1:04am Jun 21 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2,963
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Thanks, guys. :) I told my mom after Id written this in school, and a few very close friends. I call myself a burden bearer-because people tell me things they need to get off their chest or just confide in and trust not to be all over the school/internet-but I've got a few things I need to let go myself. If it inspired anyone, Im glad. :)
Resident mounted archer
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