The sky is a bright cloudless blue, the gras.s an emerald green. The sun is shining brilliantly, it warms my face. i relish the slight, warm breeze in which my long black hair dances. My ice blue eyes gleam as they scout around this amazing pain free society.  I walk over to a pond that glints like ice in the sun. Looking down I see my pale face, not how I imagine it would be after a major accident.

     I'm here because of a drunk driver. A murderer. Whoever it was, hit the car I was in, riding in the pas.senger seat, my friend behind the wheel. She's dead now. For all I know, I am too. This place is amazing, it could be my heaven, but there's a catch. She isn't here. If we died together we would stay together.

     Hearing a loud beeping noise I fall flat. No longer is the gem coloured gras.s beneath me, but a lumpy hospital bed covered in ivory sheets. I rest my head on an uncomfortable pillow, a pillow to which the case matches the itchy cotton blanket that covers me.

     I look to my right and see my father, black hair, the only thing I inherited from him, dark brown eye, just like my little brother Drax, tan skin, nothing like either me nor Drax. His Chilean beauty wasted, gone never to be seen after he pas.ses. I can so easily see how my mother fell for him. I picture him without his slight wrinkles

TO BE CONTINUED

First of all. I do like your writing style, but some things do need work. Oh yeah, and I like how it begins. :3

The sky is a bright cloudless blue, the gras.s an emerald green. The sun is shining brilliantly, it warms my face. i relish the slight, warm breeze in which my long black hair dances. My ice blue eyes gleam as they scout around this amazing pain free society.  I walk over to a pond that glints like ice in the sun. Looking down I see my pale face, not how I imagine it would be after a major accident.

First thing I'm going to comment about is probably just a dreaded typo but please edit it because it sticks out. O.O "i relish the slight..." I. Capitolize it please ;3 Another thing.

"The sun is shining brilliantly, it warms my face." I don't think that sentence can be connected with just a comma. I think, anyways. I would use a semi colon there. So it would be: "The sun is shining brilliantly; it warms my face."

The words "Pain free society" seemed kind of a strange way of describing, but that's just my opinion.

I look to my right and see my father, black hair, the only thing I inherited from him, dark brown eye, just like my little brother Drax, tan skin, nothing like either me nor Drax.

O.O Okay, I can kind of see what you're trying to get across here, and the feel that you're trying to give the reader. The unfortunate part is the grammar is all messed up. First of all, these types of sentences (to me) make me have to read it reallyreallyfastbecauseofallthecommasandIjustwantogettotheendtoseewhatthewriterwantsmetosee. ;3 Even if it does turn out to be grammatically correct, it sounds kind of awkward. So seperate it into different sentences or use semi colons etc...

Ayways, I won't go into anymore huge detail. You have some parts where you mess up a bit in your grammar, but if/when you go back to edit, you should fix them... Now onto your writing itself.

Like I said before, I want to hear more and I like the style, mood, and voice. Though you say its just the beginning and it's supposed to be quick and easy to read, it would be nice if you go back and edit, adding a bit more detail, slow down, etc.

Over all, good job. ^^