6/8/2010
Kyler101's blog.
You are visitor #: 12
Gooood evening, people. In case you havnt noticed by now, the Zombeh apocalypse has started. The reason Im able to use the internet? I still have power and the satellites havnt fallen from the sky. Weird. Why dont people usually think of that on movies? Anyway, Z.A.R.P. (Zombeh Apocalypse Revolutionary People) are doing their best to keep the general population of Prineville, Oregon safe, but you, in the meantime, can start stockpiling food, weapons, and water. Canned food is best. Keep some maele weapons on hand, swords and the like; they dont run out of ammo.
Signing off on behalf of Z.A.R.P.,
Kyler101
P.S.
Dont wear capes.
(The scene opens on KYLER, ROBERT, and JAI (aka Teh Leprechaun King) running from two zombehs)
ROBERT: Hurry! We've got to make it to the door!
(All run to door. The door shuts with TLK's cape stuck in it. ROBERT and KYLER are oblivious to this and keep running.)
ZOMBEH 1: Where'd they go?
ZOMBEH 2: Dunno. Hmmmm….oh! Dude, hey! Lookit this! *Tugs on TLK's cape*
(TLK is yanked back against the door.)
Z1: Hey, cool! I makes a funny noise! *tugs again*
TLK: Ow! Hey! Knock that out! You're chokin me!
Z2: It's a person!
Z1: Yeah! We should, like, go in there and get her! *Tugs on cape and snickers*
Z2: We cant.
Z1: Why not?
Z2: Because we're supposed to be mindless idiots. Opening a door when we cant see the person would noticeably require the use of brains.
Z1: Oooooh. So, can we go through that window?
Z2: No.
Z1: Why not?
Z2: Because it's against the rules.
Z1: What?
Z2: The rules.
Z1: Since when do we have rules?
Z2: I don't know, but I know we have them. If you break them, you'll be kicked out of the clan.
TLK: And let go of Teh Leprechaun King's cape.
Z2: *Annoyed* Hey, human, this is an AB conversation. C your way out of it.
Z1: Ah. Oh, but, there's a person-
Z2: He's dead. If hey don't move, they're cl*censored*ified as dead. We don't go after dead people. That's disgusting….you remember Ted?
Z1: Who?
Z2: Never mind. Any way, Ted broke the rules. He went through a window to get a sleeper and, as if the shards of gl*censored* sticking outta his chin weren't proof enough-we don't have living nerves so we cant feel pain, we didn't hear any screams.
Z1: Oh. So, what happened?
Z2? Hmm? Oh, we ate him.
(Meanwhile, KYLER and ROBERT have finally noticed that JAI is no longer following them)
ROBERT: Oh, shoot! Jai's still back there!
KYLER: I told her not to wear the cape! They always yank on them…
(They go back and watch the Zombehs from a balcony)
KYLER: What're they doing?
ROBERT: Dunno. I think they're arguing
Z1: Could we use those stairs there?
Z2: No. That's against the rules.
TLK: Could you please let go of my cape?
Z1: No.
Z2: That's against the rules.
TLK: *sighs* Those are stupid rules.
ROBERT: Okay, so, here's what we do. We go down there-
KYLER: Wait. Lets see if they tear each other apart over who gets her leg.
ROBERT: Alright!
Z1: Could we please use the stairs?
Z2: No. That's against the rules. I swear I just said that.
Z1: But I can smell them! And I see them moving up there!
Z2: Yeeees, but, take into consideration the large iron gate that reaches floor to ceiling. We're not supposed to be able to lift our legs like that. Don't want to ruin that image now, do we?
Z1: Hmm. I guess so.
Z2: Plus theres no person.
TLK: But you can hear me in here…
Z2: We cant see you, so we've got no real reason to go in there.
Z1: So this means nothing? *yanks on TLK's cape*
TLK: Ohmigosh! Would you STOP that?!
Z1: No. It's fun. *yanks again*
Z2: That's enough you two. Hey, human. How long you gunna be there?
TLK: Dunno. How long you gunna be there? I gotta go pee….
Z1: *Mutters* We would be gone by now if we gould open the freakindoor!
TLK: *Sighs* Look, all ya gotta do, is reach up, grab the knobby-turny thingy, turn it to the right or left, and pull the door towards you. Simple
Z1: …We're not stupid, human.
TLK: Hey, just thought I'd help ya out.
Z2: Besides, that's against the rules. We're not supposed to be able to comprehend sentences.
Z1: *Yelling* Well, you know what? This is stupid! I've got a gunRIGHT HERE! I could shoot the two males down, open the door, and eat the girl, but no-o. That's against the ru-ules. Well, the rules are stupid! Im joining the humans!
Z2: But that's against the rules!
(At that moment, ROBERT and KYLER drop down and start shooting. TLK shoves open the door, knocking Z2 over. He looses his arms and cant get up)
Z1: Don't shoot me! Im not a Zombeh!
(All look at him like he's lost his mind)
TLK: *Shrugs* Yeah. He's not.
Z2: But that's against the rules.
Z1: *kicks Z2* Shuddup! Im joining the human forces!
ROBERT: But that's against our ru-
TLK, KYLER, and Z1: SHUDDUP!
Alright. Incredibly stupid, I know. The original conversation in 5th period today was a lot funnier.
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Z.A.R.P.tm is the child of Kylers imagination. It has a TM at the end.
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