"I'm sorry."
The words were the results of false promises, dropping upon my ears which already had heard enough lies. How could she do this? The fierce and edgy sadness that had flowed through my veins was replaced with a cold, hard rage unchallenged by anything I ever felt before. I was shocked by the amount of emotions that were pouring through my body...never had I felt so much pain in my heart. There was nothing I could do. The reason for all this pain was just chugging on, not stopping.
"I'm sorry."
The words were spoken again, my rage sparking even higher. She didn't mean it. After I was gone, she wouldn't give another darn thought about me. Once I was gone, she'd go around prancing with her expensive dyed pets and omnis, glad to be able to focus all her attention on the GOOD pets. Wasn't I good too? My teeth ground into each other as I supressed a curse from coming through my mouth.
"You know I love you..."
She whispered it, another lie p@ssing through her lips. I growled and turned to her, my eyes lit up with an undeniable rage that I had never felt before. My ears flattened against my head- those words were the words I had believed all this time. I ate the lies like I ate food. They weren't true. Maybe they were once, but now? They were as meaningful as a slap to the face.
"You don't mean it," I snarled, taking a step away from her.
An unexpected rush of satisfaction washed upon me as I saw her take a step back, fear appearing in her eyes. She had never been afraid of me. We were...family. That was then, of course. She was nothing now, as I was to her. Everything was a lie. Did that mean we were never family in the first place? I snarled again, taking another step farther from her. I wanted distance from her. I wanted her out of my life. She stood there, her face grim, sad, and afraid. There was no need for her to still be here. Once she walked away, it'd all be over.
"You know I mean it," She whispered to me, a tear falling.
I glared with red-hot rage, "If you meant it," I growled, "Why are you leaving me here all alone? After all your promises?"
"Things change, just like promises," She whimpered, putting up her hands as if they could shield her from my emotions.
There was no excuse for her. She promised me she'd love me, care for me, be with me forever. They were empty promises, lies that I believed at such a young age. How naive I was to not realize she was going to do it. Our- her family grew with more expensive pets. I became the only pet that wasn't very expensive. Compared to the pets dyed Indigo and all the Credit Shop pets that she owned, I was but the plain natural Otachie that she had picked up in the beginning. I was special to her, or so I thought. The special fact about me should have been enough for her to love and keep me forever and ever. I didn't leave her, ever. She was leaving me.
I was her first pet.
"Stop thinking up of a ridiculous excuse," My voice was as hard as my heart, turned to granite all because of her, "I'm happy to leave- I wouldn't want to live under the care of someone who filled those who loved her with lies."
At this, she looked down, directing her face away from me. Good.
I saw her mouth move, showing she was about to say something. I didn't want to hear anymore of her foolish and empty words. There was nothing left for me to believe in her. What was she to me? The person who told me so many lies that gave me hope, only to watch me fall and break my heart. Without another word, I turned around.
The Atqueen Forest's dense trees stretched before me. That would be my home, once I walked away from her. They say she'd be releasing me, but I'd make it that I'd be releasing HER. I'd be the one to walk away first, kicking her out of my life. The thought of hurting her allured me. A bitter taste came into my mouth- were they the remnants of my shattered heart? I growled, folding my wings close to me.
"Good-bye forever."
I bounded forward, feeling satisfaction course through me. I knew she was hurting, or maybe she wasn't. Whatever, I hoped I had hurt her in some way. It was revenge- sweet as butterscotch. I was no longer her first pet worth barely any Tu- a simple natural Otachie- now I was free. Free of her and her lies, free of her family of omnis and dyed pets that were shining stars compared to me.
It was good-bye forever.
---
It was cloudy- the perfect setting to match my heart. It had been cracked, but now glazed over with the fierce stony covering of hatred. I breathed in the damp air. It was like breathing in misery- cold, cold, tendrils of depression going in through my nose and wrapping my heart tightly in their coils. I shuddered. Surely I'd be found by someone? People came every day... A thought struck me as sudden as a lightning bolt flashing in the velvety skies in a storm.
More revenge.
Again, the thought drew me into its clutches. If I could somehow manage to get someone to take me home, then I could likely wound her heart like she did to mine. The smile of someone who sought to cause others pain tugged onto my mouth. At that moment, I took a mental step back and stared at my situation with new eyes. I was never this angry, never this vengeful- never so thirsty to hurt someone.
It was all her fault.
Still, no matter how much I knew that how I felt was wrong, I couldn't stop. I needed to hurt her the way she hurt me. I needed to see her eyes fill with tears. I needed to make her heart shatter and break like a fragile bird. That was what hatred had transformed me into. It was set in my mind- I would strike back at her and inflict as much pain as she had upon me. It would be like a mirror- I thought, she sent pain and I would reflect all of it back. The smile grew bigger as I thought about how she would feel- just like me.
I would get revenge for all of this pain.
---
I don't know how much time had p*censored*ed, but it was long enough for me to learn my way around a pretty large portion of the forest. It was long enough for my fur to become tangled with the brambles and old leaves I picked up as I ambled through the brushes. Long enough for me to be jittery in anticipation for the day I would hurt her. Once I had been tame, but all civilized parts of my mind melded into the wild I was surrounded by.
You can say I became a beast.
Being that the Atqueen Forest was not an easy p@ssage, it was a while before I encountered someone willing to adopt me. It wasn't a rare occasion when I ran into another released pet- I took some joy in trying to scare them out of their wits. Some of them growled back or even tried to fight. Fueled by my rush of emotions (mostly rage), I easily pummeled them to the ground, tasting their suffering like honey. I was like a vampire- feeding on other's pain as if it were the very milk I had drinken as a cub.
If one had heard my name and didn't know about me, they would have laughed. I don't know. But, most of the people who knew me knew that I was brimming with so much emotion- mainly rage, that they steered clear of me. I hoped I looked fierce and malicious, but apparently I didn't look frightening enough. A human walked in front of me, beaming at the aspect of taking a pet home or some crud like that. She looked to be only 12 or 13- easy enough to scare.
Oddly enough, no matter how much I glared or how fiercesome of a pose I struck, she did not run away. The Kioka she was accompanied by looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I didn't like how I wasn't frightening. A rabid snarl escaped my lips- one that I was quite proud to have mastered in my time in the forest. She smiled and looked at me. The forest had a system- you know, you can adopt or reject when you find a pet and the info. A part of that system was popping up info so you can read about who you find.
I HATED IT.
What right did they have to barge into my life? The forest system let out a light bloop and a projection aired between us. It showed a picture of me taken from when I first came into the forest and all my information, including my hunger level and strength. I growled and stared at her as her eyes scanned the hologram.
"Your name is Bloochi, huh?" The girl asked, smiling, "That's a cute name."
I glared again, hatred in my eyes, "It is NOT cute," Though I tried to make it seem like it wasn't, I knew it wasn't the scariest of names- I mean really, Bloochi?
"Come on, don't be so angry," Her hands went up in mock surrender, "I'll take you home. I don't think you really like living here, do you?"
Then it hit me. This was my chance to get revenge on my old owner. This girl wasn't probably the most clever of the bunch and I highly doubted she could stop me anyways. I'd go with her- not to accept her friendship or any crud, but just so I could do what I want. Here was my chance to hurt her all over again. I hoped she was clueless so when I struck she wouldn't expect it. My ex
pression to changed to that of fake happiness.
"No," I said pleasantly in a tone I hadn't used in a long time, "Please take me home with you."
Though it sounded a bit fake, the girl smiled, "'kay, follow me, Bloochi."
I obeyed, following someone else for the first time in a long while. But I did it all for the wrong reason.
---
The girl, who I came to know as Reeses, had a house full of pets. They were badly named and wonderfully named. Some were cheap and some were fantastically colored or rare hatches. I actually felt slightly envious of them- especially her silver Otachie called Tsumagami. He was a little older than Reeses- who preferred to be called Pet, but respected her even though he could have easily overtaken her. Tsumagami greeted me, but I didn't reply. Why should I? He was just a little side character with no importance in my quest.
Time pas.sed and I fruitlessly searched for my old owner. I showed no love or affection towards Reeses, but she didn't care. She treated me as if I did love her. For the first time in a while, a feeling of doubt came over me. I shook it off and continued searching for the person who made me life miserable. Where could she be? I couldn't even find anyone I knew that also knew her. It was as if fate was purposely trying to keep her safe.
Why would anyone want to keep her safe? I mean really, she didn't deserve it. She lied through her teeth, and pinky promised too. As my search continued to lead to dead ends, I began to feel hopeless. There was no way I could find her- I couldn't even remember her name. She was just the accursed one in my mind. There was really no reason to stay with Reeses anymore. I sighed, giving up.
"Reeses," I called out tamely, not using her nickname as she preferred.
She poked her head out from the kitchen, "Yes, Bloo?"
Bloo. My nickname. "I don't feel like I fit in here, would you be so kind as to put me back in the forest?" I didn't expect to feel guilty when I saw the look on her face, so it was a surprise to me when I felt it.
She didn't want to release me, I could tell. Nonetheless, I continued to pressure her until she gave in. I was even able to persuade her to take me then and there. I felt quite happy, but at the same time, sad. Confusion bolted through my head as we left the house, wondering why I didn't feel as happy as I thought I could feel. I mean, the forest isn't horrible, so it wouldn't hurt to resume life. It was fun to terrify pets. I was looking forward to returning.
---
"Well," We were standing in front of the forest's entrance, "Here we are. I can't bear to release you...you can run into there now." Her voice broke.
Guilt flooded me. I had taken advantage of her- pretended that I was innocent. I used her. I took the food and luxuries she had given her pets who loved her even though I didn't deserve them. My paws refused to move as I stared up at the looming forest. Five steps and I wouldn't be her pet anymore. Five steps and it'd be back to my old life- she wouldn't be able to find me if she wanted to. Five steps was all it took. Five steps.
"I don't want to."
My voice cut the silence, startling myself- though my shock was absolutely nothing compared to hers. However, I knew better- I knew better than to become distracted from the main quest that I had chosen since the time of betrayal. There was no benefit in becoming attached to a human who wouldn't be able to aid me in finding the one who had caused my seemingly endless pit of depression in the first place. Even if she could, would she? Tilting my head upwards, I analyzed the child with an almsot scruntinizing.
She was the picture of a normal person...one who wasn't capable of committing herself to the journey I had- a journey that would end when I accomplished my shameful task. Bowing my head in respect- an action that would have stunned anyone who knew me beforehand- I touched my nose to the ground. Staring at her with intense concentration, I propelled my message through my eyes instead of my mouth- good bye.
How many times would I have to say good bye to people I didn't want to say good bye to?
The question was unavoidable as I ran in the opposite direction of the forest. Reeses watched me almost sadly as I placed more distance between us, but didn't attempt to follow. It didn't take a genius to figure out the girl was as slow as a baby Goiba on land...she couldn't have caught me if she tried. Luckily she hadn't brought any other pets- I never bonded with them, so they wouldn't have likely cared anyhow- so it was an easy escape. However, every step seemed to rip me apart, and I fought the regret that threatened to tumble the tears from my eyes over my lashes.
---
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