Time.

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Krigare	4:52pm Mar 20 2015 (last edited on 6:30pm Apr 20 2015)
Normal User Posts: 56	Whatever, ~Remove please~ Some people say time is the best healer. I disagree. Time just waits for a chance to rip you apart; to re-open the wound you wish would just stay closed. Time cannot cure you, it kills you slowly instead. It wants to destroy your soul, eliminate all the love stored inside. That is Time. It corrodes things, destroys things, disintegrates things. Remember what I said next time you visit the graveside. Time will be waiting. Just wrote it and wanted to see what everyone thought of it. I'll probably write more random things, since I like writing. :) rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n
Taka	4:25pm Apr 10 2015
Normal User Posts: 350	Although that's one way of looking at it, I'm not sure this quite captures the essence of time. Since time can be so many things at once, it's hard to pinpoint what one thing it truly is. Time is fast, but it can be slow too. It can destroy things like life or eat away at monuments and other structures, but it also harbors life and creates bonds between people as they do things together. As far as grammar goes, I think it was very good! However, you seem to use too many sentence fragments that should really be connected by commas rather than standing independently. Don't use too many commas though, try to keep your sentences at a nice length that doesn't go on forever or stop too fast. "Yes, I am indeed an artist! What drew you to that conclusion?"
Krigare	5:15pm Apr 10 2015
Normal User Posts: 56	Well, thank you for your review. Just saying, but I don't usually write things how I feel. :P But that's so you don't think I'm a creepy ex-murderer person who writes what they think of life. Once in a while I just go on a writing rampage and write pretty decent stuff. And the whole period thing...It's kinda my style. Grammar, I think I'm pretty good with that, it's one of my pet peeves. And darn, I think I just wrote a review on your review. rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n
Taka	9:42am Apr 18 2015
Normal User Posts: 350	Oh yeah, I understand that. I write all kinds of different things so I know that not everything one writes will be how they truly feel, but merely the viewpoint of an imaginary person. I'm not saying you have to change, but as food for thought I feel I should mention that people often mask mistakes that would be too much work to fix by falsely convincing themselves and others that it is their style. Take it as you will, but I'm not trying to be rude or anything. Ah, it seems I have written a review on your review of my review. "Yes, I am indeed an artist! What drew you to that conclusion?"
Krigare	11:00am Apr 18 2015 (last edited on 10:48am Jan 1 2016)
Normal User Posts: 56	Again I will say it, it's is my style, please don't get me wrong. Yes I am a novice writer, but I'm not that bad. I think XD rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n
Arrow	5:33pm Apr 20 2015 (last edited on 5:47pm Apr 20 2015)
Normal User Posts: 3,828	it angers me to no end when i see an artist post their work on a forum and ask for critiques, only to grow defensive when someone complies. from what i can garner of your poem, you are romanticizing time in a way that doesn't quite make sense. you are informing the reader of things without any proof, which may sound nonsensical considering it's an abstract piece, but from my experience, many poets make the mistake of writing things simply because they sound pretty. you do not want to do this. i failed to have an emotional response to this poem. time hurts you. so what? why are you telling me this? you disagree that time is the best healer, but why? you can spew facts at me all you want, throw your opinion, but i cannot sympathize with you because there's nothing for me, as a reader, to connect with. give examples. tell a story. and above all, do not critique someone else's critique of yours. if you can't handle people critiquing your work, don't ask for critiques in the first place. you're not always going to get sunshine and daisies when you ask someone to comment on your work. the best critiques aren't those that boost your self-esteem. you can't grow from that. picasso says, "learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." based on your posts, i also highly suggest you take a look at proper comma usage. practice correct grammar. don't simply write laziness off as style. hello my name is elder price
Krigare	6:28pm Apr 20 2015
Normal User Posts: 56	Ah whatever, I think I no longer care about the paragraph I wrote in around 5 minutes. Whatever fault you find in it, you can say. Around now I couldn't care less. rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n
Cygnella	10:30am Apr 29 2015 (last edited on 10:58am Apr 29 2015)
Normal User Posts: 159	I have to say I disagree with the critiques thus far. It's true that the poem could benefit from more examples or by telling a story, but it says something really interesting about the destructive qualities of time that overthrows the conventional notion of time as healer. I see nothing that "doesn't make sense" or doesn't "quite capture the essence of time". That's the point of the whole poem: to illuminate a true yet overlooked aspect of time. It doesn't matter that it doesn't talk about every single thing that time can be; if you wrote a poem like that, it would be never-ending! Also, the punctuation is really not that bad. I see maybe 2 minor punctuation errors that could be corrected. Most of the punctuation that was criticized ("sentence fragments"-which there are really none of as far as I can see) I see as being used for emotional effect. Anyway, I love the ideas in the poem, and I think you could develop it very well if you wanted to.
Krigare	6:16pm Jan 14 2016
Normal User Posts: 56	Hey, guys. I was just looking back at this post. I was such a jerk XD I think what my year ago self meant to say was that I go through strange stages in my writing where I obsess over different punctuation. Sorry 'bout all that :P rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n
Taka	5:26pm Feb 9 2016
Normal User Posts: 350	Honestly I was just thinking how ridiculous it was that I would say anything about the viewpoint you chose when you wrote the poem. It was rude of me to get on your case about it like there were rules or something and I apologize for my behavior that day, I don't know what was wrong with me. I feel like I've grown to appreciate many different writing styles since then, and am more open-minded about the writing of others. I do still stand by the fragmented sentence thing I had mentioned, but I can understand how I could have come off a bit meaner sounding than I had meant it originally. I could definitely have written it more eloquently than I ended up doing. "Yes, I am indeed an artist! What drew you to that conclusion?"
Krigare	2:47pm Feb 10 2016
Normal User Posts: 56	Then we're all good now. ^.^ rnAnyone else find this strange? >.<\r\n

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