Chapter 1

Kesha walked down the street as the rain poured down on her,not caring if she got wet or not she continued walking.Thunder and lightning filled the air and she couldnt hear anything.Kesha clenched her fists slowly opening and closing her hands,over and over again.She watched the pas.sing cars go silently down the road,feeling her hair get soaked and the water trickle down her face.Where am I?She wondered helplessly.

The rest of Chapter1

Kesha only wanted to get away from her problems and she noticed that they followed her like a dark,depressing cloud.She stopped and looked around Who cares if Im lost it doesnt matter she thought as she kept walking.Pulling her hood over her head she wondered what she looked like to the people around her Probably like some stranger wandering around like a little kid whos lost she thought bitterly.Kesha wanted desperately to dissapear,the night before just a haunting memory threatining to come and attack her.There had been a fire next door someone had set her neighbor's house on fire but on purpose.How could someone be so cruel! she thought as tears slid down her face.The fire spread and was everywhere, all she could hear was screaming and crying.Kesha parents had died trying to save them,the police told her to go in their car but she ran away instead.What are they going to do find another family for me?I dont think so.

Continued

Kesha stopped at the corner,knowing that if she continued on she would be really lost.Its time to check where I am,she looked around and saw the town sign it said:Darkness Square. Ha just the perfect place for a person like me!Kesha shook her head and saw a hotel across the street,she silently walked with the rain still pouring down on her.As she entered the door she didnt even care that she was dripping all over the fancy carpet."May I help you?"asked the guy at the desk."Id like a room please,a small one not something fancy"she replied flatly.He looked up and had a concerned ex
pression"Right...heres the key to room 21,enjoy your stay" "Sure whatever.."Kesha said as she grabbed they key and headed up the stairs.She came to a door with the number 21 on it and unlocked the door,she switched on the lights and was surprised.I asked for a small room,this room is huge!But they probably have bigger rooms than this anyway.she thought as she took off her dripping coat and laid down on the bed.

Chapter2

When Kesha awoke she was confused where am I?she thought as she got up,and then the day before hit her like a wave.Oh yeah Im in a hotel...Kesha got up and went into the kitchen to make herself some cereal.She ate in silence wondering what her next move was gonna be Well Im in a town called Darkness Square,Im lost and I have only like ten bucks.Kesha shook her head that wasnt enough to survive on.Kesha finished and washed the dishes in silence.What have I gotten myself into!?She wailed silently as the phone in the room began to ring.Kesha hesitated,she didnt know whether the police had found her or what.She walked up to the phone and answered it,her voice trembling as she said "Hello?"

Continued

"Hey Kesha,never thought you'd hear from me again huh?"Kesha recognized the voice instantly."Brendon!?How did you find me?" "Its not that hard but hey why'd you run away?"he asked."Because they're not gonna help me by putting me up for adoption or whatever"There was a long pause"Alright I get ya,but you shouldnt go hiding or at least come to my part of town"Kesha thought about this for a minute and decided not to leave"Im sorry Brendon but I cant go back they might find me" "Alright Kesha I cant make you do what I want but just keep in touch okay?"At that he hung up and Kesha put the phone on the table.He never ceases to amaze me,she thought as she smiled."Now what to do?If Brendon found me like nothing the police can too"she pondered on what to do Man this sucks...Alright I know what I have to do.She thought as she grabbed her coat and room key and headed out of the hotel room forever...

I love your story so far!

((Awah Funneh thankies =D Everyone says Im good but like I always say "I could be better but Im way too simple" xD))

Chapter 3 I guess?xD

Kesha had went to the hair salon and dyed her hair black,before it was a redish brownish color.She also got a hair cut which made her hair shorter.Kesha put on her black coat and black sungla.sses walking down the street silently.I am now to be know as Kayna,just changing my hair color isnt enough she thought as she came up to Brendon's house.It was risky but Kesha needed to know how far the police would go to find her,she knocked on the door and patiently waited for an answer.Brendon opened the door and asked"Uh do I know you?" Kesha took off her sungla.sses and Brendon looked shocked "Kesha!?" "It's Kayna"she said quickly.Brendon looked at her with understanding"Right...Kayna what are you doing here?" Kesha put her sungla.sses back on and said "I need to ask you a favor..."

((Homg I need to write!xD))

Contiued?

Brendon laughed"They'll stop at NOTHING to find you,its like someone hired them..." Kesha took off her shades and said"I dont get it!Im not important, I dont know why they would want me so badly...."Brendon laughed"Are you kidding me!?!Your parents were the richest people on the block and you're next to inherit all of their stuff."Kesha frowned"I dont want any of it!I....just want to leave my past behind and start a new life"Brendon shook his head"Its not going to be as easy as that.They want to buy your land to make a secret service office.The officials want to make it look like a regular house so that no one will know or ever suspect it,but I have.If you dont claim the house they'll take it without your permission!"Kesha sighed"Then Ill let them have it!Problem solved."Brendon frowned"No you have to claim it as your own!Who knows what will happen to your parents possesions?I thought you would care..."Kesha stared at her hands"I do care....Alright,alright Ill claim it as my own but there is absolutely NO way Im going to turn myself into them.We have to figure out some other way..."Brendon smiled a sly smile"I have an idea..."

Very nice. The story seems good, but you really need to slow down and flesh things out-- a lot. Also, watch out for the grammar mistakes. I see a bunch in there. But your writing is definitely not bad. Both chapters 2 and 3 can seriously be slowed down.

Again, fix the grammar mistakes. If you have Word, it should show you those mistakes for the most part, but the best tool for catching them is another person or yourself. ^^

Very nice, though.