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This is a new work in progress peice I am working on.
A painful wail broke the midnight silence.A young girl,around the age of six or seven,bent over a bigger man of seventeen.He lay with his eyes wide open and hunds clutching his neck,choking.The girl wailed again.Her brother had swollowed poison."Jeza,Jeza,goodby." he rasped,smiling up at her and lowering his hands.His eyes slid closed as he fell into the black of death.Hot tears streamed down Jeza's cheeks.She was alone.Her whole family had died.
.......
"Jezabelle,darling wake up.Were you dreaming of that night again?'" A motherly voice aroused the young teen from her nightmare.She blinked her eyes open to see her foster mother standing worriedly over her,"Oh,Ma.I miss him so much.He was the only family I ever knew.Why did he swollow the poison?" Jeza asked.
The woman,Almea,glanced around and sighed."There will be time for that later,dear.Today you go to school.With all the other fifteen year olds.Won't that be nice,you will be able to make new friends and meet lots of people." Almea said hopefully.Jeza nodded weakly and threw the thin blankets onto the floor,standing.
"An Insane is a small creature that zips from person to person at hyper speed, stealing wallets and hearts in equal measure..." -Dmann
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It's a nice begining to the story, but there are a lot of spelling mistakes that kind of draw the eye away from the story. Also, your story will look better if you include a space after a comma, and two spaces after a period. It makes everything look a lot neater. Great work, though! ;D
Actively inactive. Formerly lolalover6. |
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Thanks.I'll do that.I wrote this on my laptop,the key board is messed up so I get alot of typos.
"An Insane is a small creature that zips from person to person at hyper speed, stealing wallets and hearts in equal measure..." -Dmann
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