Preferred pronouns


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FluzzMe

10:26pm Jan 13 2022 (last edited on 10:28pm Jan 13 2022)

Normal User


Posts: 1,996
idk about y'all, but I feel uncomfortable referring to users based on the H/A presentations. I know in the past it was hard to change your gender on here, not sure if it still is. but the H/A being limited to a binary scale feels uninclusive. I feel like we have a pretty big LGBTQ+ user base, so it would be nice to implement a preferred pronouns part of profiles. I think it could also show up just under the username when you click on someones SB UN.

thoughts? feelings? please let me know :)




Halloween

7:34pm Jan 15 2022

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Posts: 2,995
I don't understand.
Could you explain a different way, please?
I'm kinda slow.



In 38 colors, and a thousand black
Gondras later... I rise over my
Army as the Gondra Queen!
\r\n\r\n\r\n
FluzzMe

3:45pm Jan 16 2022

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Posts: 1,996
lol no problem Halloween. honestly I'm not sure if I'm the best person to explain it, so I'll defer to urban dictionary:

"A pronoun is when you refer to someone so many times that you just start using she, her, they, xe, and many more. three common pronouns are she, him, them, her, he, they, you get the point."

sometimes people go by several pronouns, like he/they, she/they, or even he/she. there are others, too, called neopronouns:

"Neopronouns are a category of new (neo) pronouns that are increasingly used in place of “she,” “he,” or “they” when referring to a person. Some examples include: xe/xem/xyr, ze/hir/hirs, and ey/em/eir."




Lilith

5:54pm Jan 16 2022

Moderator


Posts: 2,155
We definitely need something like this. Right now, the pronouns are tied directly to the HA system, determining which version of art to display, which is why there aren't other options yet. Hopefully it will not stay tied to the HA system forever and there will be more choices!




**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚♫ and the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate ♫**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
Tchaikovsky

5:55pm Jan 16 2022

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Posts: 113
great suggestion Fluzz, full support <3

i'm also in full support of Disney changing this scene in beauty and the beast to this gif
Lilith

5:57pm Jan 16 2022

Moderator


Posts: 2,155
Oh in the meantime, here's a blog by Shark that will let you change your displayed pronouns on your profile!





**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚♫ and the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate ♫**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
Halloween

7:33pm Jan 16 2022

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Posts: 2,995
I think maybe female, male, boy,girl, He,She,
Mr, mis, Man,woman,husband,wife.

But, what's a *they?*
You are either male or female.







In 38 colors, and a thousand black
Gondras later... I rise over my
Army as the Gondra Queen!
\r\n\r\n\r\n
Lycan

11:27pm Jan 16 2022 (last edited on 11:28pm Jan 16 2022)

Content Manager


Posts: 3,132
@Halloween

Nonbinary people tend to use they/them most -- gender is fluid and not connected to biological or birth sex at all (and even that's fluid!)

However, even some cisgender (people who identify as the gender they were assigned at birth) people use they/them or xe/xyr or other pronouns.

Not everyone is clear-cut male/female. :]

ETA: Support this suggestion! I'd be down just for a preferred pronoun section if nothing else.



Jess

11:40pm Jan 16 2022

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Posts: 998
Full support from me. It'd be nice to be able to put the pronouns I like to go by, then just having people assume that because my HA is feminine base, that I just go and want to referred to as the gender and pronouns that go with the HA. 



FluzzMe

3:45am Jan 23 2022

Normal User


Posts: 1,996
thank you, Lilith, for the coding blog :) I'm sure it's a great help to those who need it at this time.

Halloween, things aren't always so black and white. As the years have progressed and people have had a more open discourse about gender, it has really transformed into a "spectrum." Just like a rainbow is a spectrum of light, or radio waves alternate, gender isn't on a binary scale. Some people identify as male, female, both, or neither. If you would like to know more, I suggest researching it through Google. I know not all sites are represented well, but you can also always ask in the SB for help! I'm sorry I'm not more qualified to speak on this subject.

Everyone else, especially Jess: thank you! That is exactly what I meant by beginning this thread. If I were to speak of you in the SB based only on your H/A, I would say "she" or "her." However, that doesn't seem to be entirely accurate. However, assuming I am female (she/her) would be correct. I would like to get rid of the guessing.




Zen

12:06pm Jan 23 2022

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Posts: 3,205
Support!



FluzzMe

11:36pm Feb 18 2022

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Posts: 1,996
bump :)




JestingShadows

2:48pm Mar 29 2022

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Posts: 68
This, please! I see no reason to have to tie your pronouns to the HA, and I see no reason to prevent people from changing their HA frame at will. It should be as easy as changing my hair color or eyebrow set. It doesn't affect gameplay, only the HA itself, which is all about self ex
pression.

I'm in the process of having my gender changed with staff, and tbh it feels a little demeaning to have to ask for it and to further be told it's a one time change. This does not seem to support the trans community, at the very least (although I'd like to assume it's more of a resource/coding issue than anything).  Plenty of people change labels and presentations, some more than once, and although having a one time change available (albeit a little hard to access) is nice, it also feels like the bare minimum.

My partner is nonbinary, and there were no options at all for them to represent themself- they had to pick a gender that they do not identify with, as is often the case in many other real world situations, and it makes it feel like this site was not made to accommodate for the trans community at all.

All of which to simply say, I second this motion for more pronoun/HA gender options! Something so small seeming would go a long way to making the site feel that much more welcoming and inclusive :)



Xoxo
FluzzMe

7:50pm Mar 29 2022

Normal User


Posts: 1,996
exactly jesting! I know I didn't address it well in the original post (which I'm gonna edit at some point to include this) but changing your H/A should be just like you said--as easy as hair or anything else. 

I understand that it would be an immense undertaking to add a new H/A, as they would have to redo all the clothes (not to mention even coming up with a base that everyone is happy with). So the next best thing imo would be the freedom to change the image, and the "gender" at free will. That would be great to include gender-fluid people, or even just people who aren't entirely sure where they sit yet.




Mel

11:27am Mar 31 2022

Normal User


Posts: 105
I'd like to disconnect HA w/ pronouns and maybe even say which pronouns you don't like; I'm bigender, and really hate being called they or gender neutral terms and something that could communicate it that everyone has would be nice. I feel like editing that into my bio sounds controlling so I don't do it but cuz of that I get misgendered really often 
JestingShadows

7:45am Aug 31 2023

Normal User


Posts: 68
It's really disappointing to login year after year and see that the HA is still hard tied to gender/pronouns for no discernible reason... Maybe there's a better, more official channel to suggest this change? It seems small, but so does adding the ability to change preferred pronouns. I feel so much more at home in a space that acknowledges that my pronouns and gender ex
pression are my own to dictate, and it's embarrassing that gender nonconforming individuals are allotted one single frame change (between "male" and "female") here, as though gender is some immutable factor of our character design.
There's clearly a diverse userbase here, and with all the pride pins and such, it ends up feeling like Target pride- good enough to sell merch with, but not good enough to incorporate any systemic changes over.



Xoxo
Shinigami

5:37am Sep 22 2023

Normal User


Posts: 1,459
this is exactly why my HA literally looks like it has no gender

also lmao you are not "either male or female." 

and full support !!! rn I just have my pronouns listed on my profile but it would be cool to have them attached to my un in some way bc misgendering is greasy 



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