Okay, I have decided to make a contest! This isn't all so great, but meh. ._. Anyway, post something funny here, wether it be a joke or a screenie. If it makes me laugh the hardest, you get 500K. Deal?

I don't laugh easily, and I have a sick mind. Try me, almost everything can be thrown on the table, if you have a joke that is innapropriate for the forum, you can mail it to me.

Good luck.

Okay, my math teacher told me this joke today. And it went down like this:

"What did the math teacher do when he was constipated?"

"what?"

"He worked it out with a pencil!"

But wait, that isn't the funniest bit...

When we  went to tell my Korean friend this joke (I'm not being racist, her English isn't as good as everyone else's).

She was all like:

"what is constipated?"

So we explained, it took a very long time, but she got it eventually. And then she went to tell my other friend...

"Y'know what? I have a joke for you! Okay.... There was a math teacher and he couldn't poo, so he dug it out with a pencil! And then guess what happened?"

"what?"

"uh...."

lol this sounds liek fun so i'll tell you a little stroy that just ahppened the other day...

I'm sitting in the library where all of my friends hang out in the morning and during lunch. I haven't done my AP languange vocab homework yet so I'm doing it when my friend comes in and says,

"Morning. What are you reading? It looks like a boring book."

With me trying to contain my laughter, I say,

"A dictionary, Tyler, a dictionary."

I'm not sure if you think it's funny but I thought it was funny when it happened XD

two people were on a boat, one guy was named john and the other was do da ( XD ) do da fell off the boat and drowned. so john went to do da's house and told his wife "guess who drowned in a lake today, do da...do da, guess who drowned in a lake to day oh dear do da today"

Ping: Gnnn...Sorry, I didn't find it very amusing. You can post more tohugh and try.

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Ash: Please don't spam.

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Wolf: You can post as many times as you like. ^^

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Kit: Uhh..I'm sorry, I get the joke, but I don't think it was very funny. :

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Emo: Lol, my mom told me that one a couple of days ago. It got a chuckle outta me.

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So far the funniest one was a sandwich joke I was mailed.

ha, sick mind xp, just liek meh XD i have a curcumsision joke, if you dont know what that means, rmail meh XD! idk if its innapropriate, but its hiarious XD

ok their are two 5yr olds in a doctors office, and one 5yr old says to the other 5yr old

"What are you here for?" and the other 5yr old says

"Circumsicion"

thean the other 5yr old says

"Oh, i got that when i was born and i couldn't walk for a year"

 ;p i'll edit it away if its too inapropriate, but i thought it was funny (i herd it from my English/history teacher in 8th grade xp)

Lol, I don't tihnk it's innapropriate, but it didn't make me laugh. :

oh once i saw a chicken in the middle of nowhere eating in a ditch so i told my mum

why does a chicken cross the road...

to eat in a ditch on the other side.

it was funny at the time :)

Didn't make you laugh?

Haha. XD

*receives text message* THE GOVERNMENT IS PLANNING TO TAX GROCERY BAGS! GO TO THIS WEBSITE AND REGISTER AND TO REJECT THEIR INTENTIONS! AND REMEMBER TO SEND THIS TO 10 MORE PEOPLE!

Pfft. Another chain message. *delete*

2 months later.

*walks into random store and sees sign*

BAGS ARE NOW $0.10 EACH.

Not funny, I knows. So here's another one.

Once upon a time, the country was going through some pretty bad recession. Fred the man had just become 20 and was looking around for a job. Luckily, he found a job at a zoo. Then a surprising thing happened. His employer was handing him a gorilla costume! "What is this?" Fred, of course, asked.

"It's a gorilla suit. Wear it. The door to the gorilla cages are over there."

"What?! No, I didn't mean that, why do I have to wear this?"

The employer looks around and makes sure that there are no one near and whispers, "Your job is to act as a gorilla. Now GO!"

Stunned, Fred wore the suit and entered the cage. He lumbered around in the heavy costume and acted, for he wanted the pay.

Now, this zoo was very, very poor. The cages were often connected and separated by only a flimsy wall. It could be crumbled by a man, let alone a lion, which were unfortunately next to the gorillas.

That's when the lions went for the gorilla. Crashing through the wall, the lions came out and went for Fred, whom they thought was a real gorilla. The spectators became loud. Fred was terrified. One lion, a big one, pounced and landed on top of Fred. "HELP!" Fred cried out loud. The spectators were confused and got even louder.

Then, Fred heard the lion. The lion was not growling, but talking. In a small, whispering voice he said, "Shut up! Do you want us to get fired?!" 

So, my cat was not weaned properly. I have this nice comfy, and fluffy blanket. Well, he comes running into my room. (As I don't allow him in here becasue of this.) Just on my bed and, he starts sucking my BLANKET. After he is finished he lays down, and goes to sleep with a "full" tummy of milk.

By the way he is now 4 yrs old, and STILL does it.

I love this one

54804-bigthumbnail.jpg

and this one made me lol, even though I am a girl

proof_that_girls_r_evil.jpg

those two aren't mine, but i found them. here's a one i heard from my friends somewhere (i hope you don't mind dumb blonde jokes?):

At the gates of heaven, you have to tell the truth to get through. If you don't, you go to hell. So there's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead lined up. The brunette steps up and says, "I think that I have the prettiest hair in the world," and she gets through. The redhead says, "I think I have the prettiest eyes in the world," and she also gets through. The blonde begins, "I think -" and gets sent to hell.

;D