Make me laugh, get 500K


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DevilAngelKia

8:45pm Oct 26 2009

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Posts: 3,557

I think some blonds over-react, but then again I'm not blond.  And I have heard some pretty offencive jokes, so I won't push.  I guess blond jokes will be categorized as racists so nobody get's offended. ^^

______

Chance: I need to see more things like that...Do it...Nao.

None of the other jokes made me laugh..Neigher did the other ones, but I showed the 'Why so curious, George?' to everyone and they laughed.




Isn't this fun?
Missy95

7:15am Oct 27 2009

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Posts: 281
gothicshadow111

8:47am Oct 27 2009

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Posts: 243

Try this rhyme:

Im not wearing underwear today

No, im not wearing underwear today.

Not that you probably care 

Much about my underwear

Still none the less i gotta say

That im not wearing underwear to daaaaaaaaaaaaay

 

Im not wearing underwear today ~ Avenue Q

 

Haku

3:52pm Oct 27 2009

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Posts: 1,966

No, I'm not gonna try to make you laugh. :D

Good luck finding people to make you laugh though.

:DDDD





Adopted from Archaeus.

housesangels

3:54pm Oct 27 2009

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Posts: 380

This isn't ment to be reacist and actually happened TWO DAYS AGO. backround info: this boy is jewish loves to spread it around.

 

well we were sitting in band cl*censored* and boy raises his hand.

the teacher calls on him  and he says " Guess what Mr.Mundrik? ( mundrick= band teacher)

"what Jimmy?" ( jimmy's the jewish boy.)  " I'm a Jew"

--- 5 minutes later -----

Kevin raises his hand and the teacher calls on him." guess what Mr. Mundrick?" "what kevin" says the teacher.

"Wanna be a Jew"

---- 5 minutes Later-----

Lacy raises her hand and says " Guess what Mr. Mundrick?" "what Lacey'

" I'm Not A Jew"!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

at the moment that was funny. it may not be now. I think you need to be there to think it's funny. 




Here! have an Avocado.

\r\n WE NEED A HOME

wovensecret

9:53am Nov 2 2009 (last edited on 4:26pm Nov 2 2009)

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Posts: 126

Oh... sorry about the blonde joke. I know blondes that are really smart, and they don't mind. 

I dunno, I guess it's just personal opinion. Sorry!

Anyways, i find these hilarious:

Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
 
Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts
(hhmh...it said "may"...does that mean some of the nuts are fake?)
 
Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire
(gee, what a revolutionary thought!)
 
Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
 
Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
 
Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
 
Korean Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
 
Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(wouldn't they be already dead?)
 
Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
 
Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap
(and this is…?)
 
Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
(really? I would never have guessed.)
 
Puzzle: Warning: Some A-ssembly Required
(I never knew...you opened the door for me!!)
 
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
 
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but that’s just a “suggestion”…)
 
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well, a bit late, huh?)
 
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought...)
 
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
 
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
 
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what else?)
 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
 
On a sign at a public pool – “Warning: water in pool.”
(…and here I thought it was whipped cream…)




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Aqueeze

2:56pm Nov 2 2009 (last edited on 3:18pm Nov 2 2009)

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Posts: 302
Love the jokes



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justinbieber

4:56pm Nov 4 2009

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Posts: 16

 why didnt the blonde girl tip toe across the medicen cabinet? she didnt want toWAKE up the SLEEPING pills

appleoftwilight

7:03pm Nov 7 2009

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Posts: 1

Woven: you TOTALLY stole that from my fanfiction profile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if that made you laugh, I should get credit for it!! it's on my profile on FanFiction that I showed her and as I was reading I thought I should add that to the mix....)

blackthunder18

9:57pm Nov 7 2009

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Posts: 229



Chuck Norris not only 'Tasted The Rainbow,' he roundhouse kicked it so hard, skittles fell out!
livelaughdream

6:09pm Nov 8 2009

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Posts: 44

a crime scene investigation takes place in a car a man got shot and there was no clues no broken windows or trace or any evidence how did the shoter shoot the man??

                         the car was a convertable

        

girlsmackback11

7:14pm Nov 8 2009 (last edited on 7:16pm Nov 8 2009)

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Posts: 507

This might not be so funny, but they are true stories
and I think they're cute.

In Kindergarden:

One day my mom was called in to pick me up early.
When she arrived, I was sitting in the "Time Out"
corner holding a big chunk of hair in my hand,
and one of my little pig tails missing.
- I had cut off my pig tail during art time.
When we were leaving, my mom wanted to see the principal.
I asked her, Are you getting another person to yell at me too?"

~

Another day, my mother was called in early once again.
When she came to pick me up, I was in the Time Out corner again,
holding a mouse in my hands, petting it.
When my mom and teacher came over, I said,
"Shh! It's sleeping!"
(I had picked up a mouse that must have died
at the bottom of the tox box)




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wovensecret

7:38am Nov 11 2009

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Posts: 126
sorry, applez. :P i was gonna split with you if I won... but i didn't. yet, anyways.



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xchezzehx

8:01am Nov 11 2009

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Posts: 444

haha, I have another one to add to woven's list up there.  XD

Found on the tag of a matress - Warning: Do not eat.




I have to get this thing to level 1,000. Please, help.

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Shalendar

4:48pm Nov 11 2009

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Posts: 8

here are a few....

 

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

 

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

 

A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"

 

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

 

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough...

 

Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!"

 

hope any of these work!!! <3 tyty




Shalendar

4:52pm Nov 11 2009

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Posts: 8
i didn't make up these btw.. had a friend who gave em to me :P



redberry323

1:14pm Nov 13 2009

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Posts: 49

Ok here's one what does a fish use for a weapon? A fish-tank. Not really funny but hey...

 Ok here's another sorry to all you blondes out there i told this to my sorta blonde mate and she laughed.

Ok a blonde, brunette, and a red-head were playing around in a farmer's shed. The farmer heard the noise and toke his pitchfork and went to investigate the noise. The brunette heard and hid behind the cage of dogs. The red head hid behind a cage of cats. The blonde hid behind a bag of potatoes.The farmer went in and pointed his pitch-fork at the cage of dogs and said "whos behind the cage of dogs?" The brunette went "woof-woof." He pointed at the cage of cats. The redhead went "meow, meow." The farmer pointed towards the bag of potatoes and said "who's behind the bag of potato's?" The blonde went "potato, potato."

 

Icefeather

9:27pm Nov 17 2009

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Posts: 42
funny pictures of cats with captionstle="funny-pictures-cat-sleeps-on-bear-pelt" />

XD   I found thisone funny.




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Kilindra

11:23pm Nov 17 2009 (last edited on 11:27pm Nov 17 2009)

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Posts: 2

Ok. So this is a blonde joke(no offense if you have blonde hair):

Three girls are captivated by pirates and one has brunette hair, one has red hair, and the last

has blonde hair. When the pirates are about to throw the red head overboard she yells,

"Tornado!!!" And they get distracted long enough she can get away. The brunette is about to be

chopped into dices but she yell, "HURRICANE!!!" The pirates get distracted again and the girl

escapes. Then they put the blonde into a cannon. "Aha!" she thinks, "I can get away from these

pirates too." And when they are about to launch the cannon the blonde head says, "FIRE!"...

THE END... Too Bad... :(

NightmareDream

6:09pm Nov 20 2009

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Posts: 1,551

Okay. If I make you laugh, there's no need to give me 500k.

One time I was in a charter bus riding to Washington DC. I really had to go to the bathroom. O.O So, I walked into the bathroom. first of all, it was small. It smelled. And I felt like I was going to fall into the toilet because it was so deep. When I was done I reached for the doornob... and the door wouldn't open. Did I mention all of my friends, people I saw all the time, my mom, and my sister were on that bus? Well, they were. One of the things you should never do if you are stuck in a bathroom on a charter bus is freak out. Because that is what I did. I kicked the door and was screaming "HELP! I'M STUCK IN THE BATHROOM!" My mom walked up calmly to the door and opened it from the outside. Don't ask me how she did it. And then I walked to my seat on the bus and everyone was laughing. And my family still never lets me forget it. I've has so many moments like this. Too many. Hope you enjoyed that. :)




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