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3:22pm Mar 30 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 3,002
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it's not very funny but.... A preacher is buying a parrot. “Are you sure it doesn’t scream, yell, or swear?” asked the preacher. “Oh absolutely. It’s a religious parrot,” the storekeeper *censored*ures him. “Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord’s prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.” “Wonderful!” says the preacher, “but what happens if you pull both strings?” “I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!” screeched the parrot
Current Goal: Hatch a Black and Albino Shaefu. Get all Dye Kit Color Shaefu. 2 Dyes so far and 4 Shaefu Hatched. Thread up in Ads if you want to see what I'm selling.
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3:25pm Mar 30 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 3,002
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This one is actually funny but.... A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.” Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?” God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
Current Goal: Hatch a Black and Albino Shaefu. Get all Dye Kit Color Shaefu. 2 Dyes so far and 4 Shaefu Hatched. Thread up in Ads if you want to see what I'm selling.
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3:30pm Mar 30 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 3,002
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this one isn't funny at all but as i was reading this online i thought it said escalator instead of elevator!!! Things to do on an Elevator: Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: ‘Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!’ Whistle the first seven notes of ‘It’s a Small World’ incessantly. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: ‘Got enough air in there?’ Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarr*censored*ed when they open by themselves. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. Stare, grinning, at another p*censored*enger for a while, and then announce: ‘I’ve got new socks on!’ Meow occasionally. Bet the other p*censored*engers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Current Goal: Hatch a Black and Albino Shaefu. Get all Dye Kit Color Shaefu. 2 Dyes so far and 4 Shaefu Hatched. Thread up in Ads if you want to see what I'm selling.
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3:38pm Apr 4 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 10,925
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Veraz, Love the screenie, because I've met Patrick (He's my friend's uncle). He's 51? Omg, Pat, you look so good for 51. :')
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip.
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9:29pm Apr 5 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 2
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A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a *censored* about you.
B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.
D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.
G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.
H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.
I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.
J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.
K
stands for Kill.
L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.
L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.
M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.
N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?
O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.
P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.
Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.
R
is for Rich little *censored*. She bought my love but I paid for it.
S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.
T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.
U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that *censored* is an understatement.
V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.
W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.
X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.
Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.
Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"
.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.
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7:08pm Apr 6 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 5,748
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all i can say is have you ever seen a chipmunk in a washing machine?
POPCORN IS-> SORT OF ONLINE |
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12:16pm Apr 27 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 3,002
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This is a hilarious chat from the SB. KrazyK: yup
SuperBunnyFooFo: no ☂_☂
mionharuhishanafan: yay
ScrubTech: ok good I am glad
mionharuhishanafan: aww
SuperBunnyFooFo: and those aren't umbrellas
supernovastar: mion: what a mouthful of a username! Did you just make it up on the spot?
SugarDiamonds: The SB is too fast. Everyone who doesn't matter, out now.
mionharuhishanafan: no, i watch anime
mionharuhishanafan: there my fav
wolfspirit25: do I matter Sugah?
SuperBunnyFooFo: ☉_☉ sug
supernovastar: mion: same!
SugarDiamonds: No.
SugarDiamonds: And put that creepy face away.
wolfspirit25: >.< warning for saying I don't matter!
SuperBunnyFooFo: and if i refuse?
mionharuhishanafan: ^_^
Shadowwolf96: Sugar:What should the name be.
SuperBunnyFooFo: what then? ☀_☀
SugarDiamonds: You're not allowed in the pool anymore.
mionharuhishanafan: me??
willowwhisper: hello!how is everyone
SuperBunnyFooFo: awww ☄n☄
Shadowwolf96: um sugar?
mionharuhishanafan: hello
supernovastar: What should I do whilst waiting for my eggs to be incubated? hi willow
Shadowwolf96: hi mion.,....
SuperBunnyFooFo: but i just got me new flashlight eyes installed
Current Goal: Hatch a Black and Albino Shaefu. Get all Dye Kit Color Shaefu. 2 Dyes so far and 4 Shaefu Hatched. Thread up in Ads if you want to see what I'm selling.
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8:34pm Apr 29 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 77
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knock knock whos there iluvmymissydog iluvmymissydog who I told you already now let me in
iluvmymissydog
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11:57pm Apr 29 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 38
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well hers a nok nok joke: ''Nok Nok'' ''hows there?'' ''boo'' ''bowhow''
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5:29pm Jun 10 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 89
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A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"
<3
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11:02pm Jun 10 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 12,418
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There was tons of kids and adults at a party. One of the adults said, "Remember when we used to get wasted?" A little kid askes, "What wasted." "It's when you have too much Ice Cream, dear." An adult says. And every kid says, "I wanna get wasted, badly!" One kid says"I wanna get Chocolate wasted!!"
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1:57pm Jun 13 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 16
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knock knock whos there interupting cow interupting co -moo- w who
!*~Uli~*!
Shamu!!!!
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8:52pm Jun 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 17,364
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This might be funneh........ Theres a red head, Blonde and a brunett. They were climbing up a moutain. When they reached the top, the retarded girls became stuck. Finnaly, the red head speaks up, "Hey ! I think I know how to get down! I've heard that if you survive the moutain top, and get to the top (like we did) we can have 1 wish each! All we have to do is jump from the top and with outloud!" She exclaimed. The brunette shrugged, "Well were gonna die anyways." So the brunette ran to get a head start, reached the ledge and yelled: "I wish I was a Blue jaY!" She suddenly turned into a blue jay and flew safely down. The red head was next. she ran to the ledge yelling: " I wish I was a goose!" she turned into a goose and flew down safely also. The blonde was last. She ran to the ledge, "I wish I was a-" she tripped over a rock and yelled out "Crap!!" she turned into a turd and just sat there. THE END.
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10:06pm Jun 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 173
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bump i'll r-mail you my joke but you should watch young frankenstein if you want a good lol I die when I see "walk this way!"
"
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11:22pm Jun 15 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 23
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ok i have one a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead go to a confession.the brunette goes first, "father forgive me, i have sinned. i have been cheating on my husband, and lying where i go at night.""just drink this holy water and your sins will be forgiven."next the redhead goes, father forgive me, i have sinned. i envy my older sister for her beauty and the men she gets while i get none." "drink this holy water and your sins will be forgiven." then the blonde goes, father forgive me for i have sinned. i peed in the holy water." and by the way im not trying to be mean and tht i am blonde also. |
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11:54pm Jul 5 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 6
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OK OK, this made my dad laugh every time I said it: Once there was a mime, he was looking for job since he was fired from his last one. He decided to go preform at a zoo. When a zoo keeper pulled him into an office. He started to yell at the mime, when the zoo keeper said, "Hey do you need a job?" the mime nodded, "Well, our zoo's signature gorilla just died and we need someone to pretend to be a gorilla while we get a new one. Would you like to be a gorilla in the time being?" The mime shook his head again.The next day the mime put on the gorilla suit and got into the cage. The mime liked it in there. He could do anything he wanted. He especially liked the gorilla swing. One day the crowd started to go to the cage next to him, the lion cage. He didn't want to loose this job so he climbed up a pole that over hung the lion's cage. He got all the attention in doing this. But one day he did it and slipped. He fell into the lion's cage. He started to run all around the cage in panic. Meanwhile the lion was gaining on him. Then he tripped. He got up, but the lion pounced on him. "HELP!!HELP!!!" the mime cried. All of the sudden he heard a voice in the lion's mouth: "SSHHHH!! You will ruin the job for the both of us!" Hope you enjoyed. tle="Smile" /> |
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12:59am Jul 6 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 8
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A blonde a brunette and red-head are running from the police. They run into a farm to hide. The brunette hid in the horse-pen, the red-head hid in the shepp pen, and the blonde hid in the potatoe sack. A few minutes later the police came in to look for them in the farm. They went to the horse pen, the brunette said "Neh! Neh!" They looked over at the sheep pen and the red-head said "Bah! Bah" They walked past the potatoe sack and the blonded screamed "POTATOE!! POTATOE!!" |
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3:08pm Jul 14 2010
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Normal User
Posts: 3,557
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I thought this one died, Ipicked a winner ages ago! DX
Isn't this fun?
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5:08pm Jul 14 2010 (last edited on 5:13pm Jul 14 2010)
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Normal User
Posts: 14
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I didn't know it was over.
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