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8:44am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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After 10 minutes of reading pages, I am here.
I was absent because one of your dear rulers had to have some beauty sleep. You can't blame me. Beauty takes a lot to maintain around here.. Not that - uh - I'm saying that you villagers / slaves / zombies / cannibalistic Tron are.. not beautiful.. just inferior.
// Tumbleweed //
Well, this is quite awkward..
UH. Good job on not ripping the town apart, guys! I really didn't expect that this night. Now, who wants to help me find the mutant, rabies-infested hounds? :D
I forgot to put them on their leash before I fell asleep, and now they seem to be - uh - temporarily not here. . _ .'
I think everyone should stay in there houses.. or just not wander the streets with BBQ sauce rubbed all over their bodies.
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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9:14am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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Who left that tumbleweed loose? I thought we captured all of those suckers so that they wouldn't interfere with our speeches. >:C Someone isn't doing their job correctly.
Seeing as Tron is the only one with a great span of jobs, it's clearly hers.
As per the er...note about BBQ. I do believe it was BBQ night just yesterday and everyone knows what comes after that:
Drumroll please.
-ahem-
BBQ pool night.
If we have any luck, the scoundrels won't have wandered off into a filled pool. Not because I'm worried about the villagers, of course. But because everyone knows that the sauce is hard to swim in. I wouldn't want the poor things to drown. I can just imagine their lumpy, circular bodies flailing about in that muck as their little arms flail around for assistance. ;o; gasp
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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9:22am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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Congratulations, Tron. It seems like you'll be keeping your job.
But I expect you to be in charge of the tumbleweed, it makes my speeches look pathetic if one was to roll on by. If I see one more tumbleweed, interfering, I will cut your left ear off. But keep the right one because you need to hear our commands. c:
So, that's why I was smelling a lot of BBQ the other night.. was I the one who suggested the BBQ party? ouo;
Feeding the hounds with villagers save precious cow meat. And every other meat imaginable. But the poor hounds can't swim in thick sauce. :c
Someone should uh.. patrol the BBQ sauce pool, and look for either dead hounds, or mutilated villagers.. . _ .;
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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9:42am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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Left ears also go for more on the market - that is, if you plan to sell hers. Apparently, there's some sort of demand for them. I guess people are more likely to lose them in battle or some sort of chivalrous action. You'll blend right in, Tron. No worries. You'll only be saddened to know that if anyone asks what happened you may not lie about it. You'll have to tell them you lost it for one of the lamest reasons: not keeping your eyes on the tumbleweeds. Why? Because we say so.
Duh.
Yes, Lydia, the BBQ party was your idea. We decided upon it during our discussion of kingdom holidays and other special days/events. It was on that very same day that I decided every other Wednesday would be Halloween, so make sure that when you all search for hounds and mutilated villagers that you don't drag in someone simply in costume, because that would be embarrassing.
Although, more so to you than to us - it would probably be humorous as well...
You know what, on second thought bring in whoever you please.
We need a good laugh.
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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9:52am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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Right then. Was I consuming any alcoholic beverages? Because that might have made me loopy.. and that just means I'll be making disastrous decisions.
I'd say losing your left ear because you didn't watch the tumbleweeds, is not that bad. It's pretty humorous, and that's what counts. Surely, it's better than losing your left ear because you pooped on the streets.. but less funny though. :<
I suggest someone in a Justin Bieber costume, test the waters. And by that, I mean jump in the BBQ sauce pool, and see if there are any ravenous hounds trying to eat your wig. If that indeed occurs, I expect you to stay there and wait until help comes. Might be a while, but out cuddly little hounds get scared when they're alone.
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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9:58am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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I'm not sure...we were drinking that day. Soda, lemonade...perhaps it was the sugar rush or concoction of it all? I've had tons of different innocent drinks at once like that before, and it has provided quite the effect.
But don't be too hard on yourself, we make disastrous decisions regardless. We need to. They're important to the fueling of our kingdom. And when I say fueling, I really just mean the excitement and mayhem.
I do agree that we need someone to keep the dogs company. They also need something to sit on so that they don't drown. If one of you happens to drown in the process, that's quite alright. You're hardly at all expensive compared to good dogs. Let alone rabid ones. That always cost extra. Always.
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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10:04am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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I don't remember, but I do vaguely remember a fruit of some sort.
Or was that a spoon? I can't remember..
Our kingdom wouldn't be as amazing as it is today, if it weren't for the excitement and mayhem. It keeps our kingdom fun and interesting. c:
I remember when the hounds were small little poodles. So much hair. D< It all changed when they got into a vat of chemicals. I was going to use them to wash the sheets, the sheets were putrid, but I guess the vat of chemicals were put to better use.
All I had to spend, was an ounce of pocket lint. Tron's pocket lint.
Patrick Star, you are one smart businessman.
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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10:05am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 72
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It seems that Tron's unwavering trust in the newcomer has led her to her downfall.
The cake was poisoned.
She doubles and vomits violently.
Then she slips in her vomit...
and drowns in her vomit.
It's safe to say that Tron died a terrible death.
Such a shame.
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10:09am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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Crap.
And the tumbleweeds weren't even maintained..
I knew Mr. Zombie was a foe! Now, we need to find a good punishment for that rotting piece of potato. Maybe we could force feed her stinky cheese.. :D
Someone should clean up Tron's body. By clean up, I mean poke with a stick until they get tired of the putrid smell of puke, and just dump chemicals on her too. You never know, she might turn into a mindless zombie! Not much change from before, but the fact that she's not so snappy would be better.
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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10:47am Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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It could have been! We have a great quantity of spoons...and jelly fish...and other various items/creatures. :D
We could always use those putrid sheets as torture. We never did wash them.
And I have some goo just for that purpose. It's much better than the vomit, at least. -pours it over Tron- 8D
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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1:31pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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// Rubs the copious amounts of spoons. //
Man, I love spoon. And jelly fish. And vats of chemicals.
We could make people eat the putrid sheets.. but then we won't be able to use the sheets over again. In today's economy, we could use a lot of things twice.. like underwear. So many perfectly good underwear lying all over the streets. :c
Where did the goo come from? >o>
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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1:46pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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Mmm. Spoons.
No, I actually meant force them to smell and sleep on the sheets. :D And we could have someone retrieve that underwear on the streets for the same purpose!
I have secret sources. Black market stuff, you know. They keep their identity hidden. I'm pretty sure this one guy is named Bob, though. Bob is hardcore name, right? You don't mess with a Bob.
I'm pretty sure it won't like. Dissolve Tron's skin off or something. He'll probably end up a mutant or something of the such, though.
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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2:16pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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That sounds.. not too bad.
And we can dip the sheets in more suspicious chemicals after the putrid-ness starts to go away! But instead of using our own hands, we can use the useless hands of some other inferior being. That way, there's no chance of accidentally dipping our hands in chemical stuff.
Woah. Bob? I've heard rumors about that crazy guy.. I heard that he chains people and places weapons they can use to free themselves, like.. inches out of their reach. Like that Saw dude, only quite more hardcore.
Saw? What a pansy name.
Maybe we can train Tron to do tricks? Like fetch-the-elf-arm or something.
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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2:39pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 2:43pm Jan 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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It really isn't. I mean, it's what all the awesome kingdoms will be doing eventually. Eventually, because a rumor will spread that we're doing what we're doing and the kingdoms will wonder why they didn't think of that themselves and before we know it, it'll be a trend that we'll have started! It's what every kingdom dreams of! People will flock to us in awe, knowing our crumbling, decaying walls is where it all started!
Oh yes.
What you've heard is correct. Bob does this on purpose. Bob does everything on purpose, because he knows what he is doing. That is why you do not mess with Bob.
Saw is far too pansy for anything. That is why Saw got rejected by everyone and why Saw decided he'll just force everyone to play games with him since no one will do so willingly. It makes perfect sense.
Perfectly.
Tricks sound good. I think there's a large book of them in the archives somewhere. Classic ones like how to teach your mutant to defend you against all harm and still having your mutant survive, how to get your mutant to fetch you any magical creature and magical creature limbs, yes, and even...wait for it-
How to teach your mutant to open your soda can for you.
That's extremely important.
Probably my closest favorite next to how to make your mutant fly over a cliff even if it doesn't have wings of any sort.
:3
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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2:55pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 375
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Our mere existence is trendy. C:
Everyone else with their mainstream living-in-peace, democratic kingdoms. Poo. Who would want to live there? Everything would be in order, and there would be a lack of poop being flung out windows. I can't even imagine living in a place where there aren't any rabid hounds, or vats of suspicious chemicals..
I recall those books. I used to have them in my personal library, until the hounds got in there and ripped everything to shreds. Including the poor fellow who was looking at a book. To this day, I don't know who that was. The remains were to grotesque to even know if it was male, or female..
SUCCESS. I have trained the hounds well.
Is there a book on teaching your mutant how to wield a chain-saw and cut little people up into cute 3x3 blocks of flesh?
I\'m starting to do profile commissions. I can do simple codes so care to Rmail me?
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4:11pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 4:11pm Jan 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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Precisely why we live here in this beloved eye-smelling kingdom that we are and not the others.
Ah, I remember that like it was yesterday. How adorable it was when they ripped that person's flesh open as if they were merely chewing on a squeaky toy. Oh, how their tiny, demented, tails swished back and forth as their growls echoed down the castle corridors and dribble wet their cheeks.
Sigghhh.
I miss them so. Such good dogs they were and to think we almost purchased silly trinkets that day instead. How foolish that would have been! Especially considering I brought them home anyway. Bandit skills, ahoy! Though, I am too regal to call myself a thief openly, of course.
Entrepreneur more like it. We are a nation of business, yes.
srs bznz.
And within this seriously serious business that is serious, there is the knowledge that we can find books or some sort of parchment on nearly everything. If there isn't, I can either steal it, or torture someone to write it in blood. Because blood ink is the best ink and only the best goes towards our kingdom.
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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4:15pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 754
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*coughs and steps forward* Geez... So many unread posts to go through
Um, it appears that I am a nocturnal creature in comparison to you. However, I have been spending my night... tending to your hounds... They appear to have gone in a frenzy and attacked a chainsaw wielding mutant... They have reduced the invader, but at the costs of some injuries. And as for... *looks at puddle of slop* ... Tron, would you like me to tend to her?
Always on the lookout for ardurs!
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4:33pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 4:34pm Jan 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 304
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I am also nocturnal, dear werewolf. Do not simply assume. Our kingdom was not built on pure assumptions, nor does it keep running on the like.
Nevertheless, I am glad to see that you have been keeping up with your work. Seems you are actually useful. Far more useful than Tron ever was, but I suppose that's not fair to say now that's she's...in the state she is. Please do tend to her so that I can continue to insult her directly.
In the mean while I shall huggle the hounds. ;o; Poor babies. They took their injuries like the man-dogs they are. You can hardly tell, really. Among their current mutilations. Or so, I like to tell myself. Baw.
"These little contradictions are in all of us. They’re in me at least. And so I forgot that I had been awake for 30 hours and kept walking, grateful to be a little boat full of water, still floating." — John Green
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5:27pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 754
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*gets out shovel and starts scraping Tron up into a bucket* Hey ho... it's off to work we go... *bends over and picks something up* It appears that Tron's left ear fell off =I Did you want to sell this?
Always on the lookout for ardurs!
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6:10pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 244
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Aw, the little dears <3 *cuddles mutant-rabid hounds*
Is the council needed in some way or have our dear rulers taken care of business? (sorry for the delay my leaders, I had *coughs* matters to tend to >:3)
These wonderful banners were made by cj40 :3 Thank you ^^
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