( :C I'd bet. )

"Jay?" called a voice from inside the house. Zooey stepped out from around a wall, and she blinked at Nicole. She crossed her arms and stood against the wall, eyeing Nicole from her spot. Her gaze didn't look particullarly cruel or mean, just curious. "Hi, Nicole..." she said, and gave her a bright, young-girl-to-older-girl smile. "Where's Jay at?"

( ;n; She'll be finee. )

Zooey looked at the door as well, as if she could see Jay through it. "Yeah?" she said, simply filling in the empty air rather than letting the conversation hang there. "How's your relationship with him? He's usually a total pain in the butt," -- she flashed Nicole a mischievous grin -- "but, I guess he can be a good sport sometimes. I have a question, though." Her smile disappeared, replaced by a rather curious ex
pression.

( What, then? ;n; )

Zooey's lips parted slightly, as if she were going to say something like, "Ahh, I see," but she only nodded a little. "Well... Why are you still with him?" she asked, looking at Nicole with a concerned ex
pression. "I mean, you must be one hell of a girl, putting up with my older brother's crap all the time. But, jeez, Nicole. You are one hell of a girl, staying with him even after what he did with Kurt... You know." She just *censored*umed she knew, since Jay had been upset for a week or so afterwards.

( BECAUSE WE'RE COOL.
...Did that to Connor today. I almost ran into him in the hallway by my sister's homeroom.
Connor: O_o "What are you doing here?"
Me: "...Nothing," eue
Connor: o_o "Aren't you supposed to be, er...over..." *points with pencils*
Me: eue "No."
Connor: "Wait...are you switching?"
Me: *grins* "I'm awesome." *turns around and half skips away* )

"Well, you know..." Zooey began, brow furrowing slightly. "You know, he, uh. Slept wth him." She whispered the last part, even cupping her hand over her mouth. Then, when she stood back and returned to her original stance, her eyes widened. She did know that, didn't she? If not, then she'd just screwed Jay over. "You...you did know that, didn't you?" she asked worriedly, her concern showing through in her eyes. Her own heart rate quickened, and she took a step back around the corner. "Didn't you?"

Zooey's mouth opened, she almost said something, and then practically ran to her room. She made sure the close the door quietly. If Jay found out that she'd just let one of his secrets slip, he would be so mad. Worse than made, he'd be flamin' furious.

Not too long after Zooey retreated to her bedroom, Jay walked in, stuffing the ring he'd finally found into his right pocket and grinning at his fiancée as he entered. "He-llo, beautiful," he said, taking a long step to the side so he could push the door shut with his foot. His hands were behind his back, and he could not stop grinning.

( ...;u; You're getting to be such a good roleplayer, homg. I'm so proud. )

"All right," Jay repeated with a smile, stepping towards Nicole. He needed to be close to her to propose. He felt like he was shaking from excitement, but he wasn't exactly sure if he was or if it was just a random shot of adrenaline running through his veins from the excitement.

However, Jay's smile faltered slightly, and he quickly said, "No, of course not," Only if she didn't ask or mention the matter, actually. If Nicole wanted to know something, he'd tell him. So, was he lying? He definitely felt like he was lying. But, he couldn't lie to Nicole... Their relationship was getting better, so he couldn't. "Why?" he added in another retort.

( ;u; You've taught me well, homg. )

Nicole bit the inside of her cheek. How was he staying so calm? He, just like her, knew he was lieng. "Oh, well, I was just wondering." She paused. "I was just wondering when you were planning on telling me that you were messing around with your 'best friend'"--She added air quotes for affect--"Even though I was you girlfriend." In unison with the words escaping her mouth, she felt her heart squeeze tight, and it felt like it broke. All she was wondering was if Jay's felt the same.

( So calm my *censored*. )

How does she know that.

The words were more of a statement in his head, not a question. His throat tightened, and he tried clearing it, which instead made it even more difficult to speak. But, he couldn't panic. Maybe she was just asking. Maybe she just figured. It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?

But, why did it have to be now? Now, when he was about to make them both so happy. Jay had started on his list of things that Nicole had asked for, which, honestly, wasn't much. From what he could recall, that is. There was a, a ring. B, a kid. They could compromise when it came to that kid, and a ring was easier to obtain, so he started with that.

Now Kurt was ruining everything again. Not that it was necessarily Kurt's fault, though. Jay knew he had it coming. He always knew, with every time, even before Nicole. So, why? The question was, why did he always do it? Was being unfaithful one of his sick thrills or something? Jonah was probably turning over in his grave with every time, with every fight and every kiss and every spoken word. He was probably using his name like it was burning his tongue each time he spoke it, wherever he was.

And the fact that Kurt was always in on it made it worse. Was that his fault? "I just..." he finally managed. "I wanted to put it behind us. Kurt's dead, so, I thought..." His voice sounded like that of a kid who knew he was in deep sh.it. A kid who hadn't gone through puberty, apparently, as Jay's voice had cracked at least twice. In some ways, maybe he was mature enough to have gone through puberty, and in others, he was just a stupid little kid.

( HAHA, freakin' lurker. Flare doesn't reply till later, and we both know what's coming. 8D )

Jay flinched. He himself had trouble saying "He's dead," or "She's dead." Hearing it from someone else bit into him like ice. "Yes...you're right," Jay said quietly, hesitantly. "But, that's not why we should. Our relationship, as much as it hurts me to say, has always been pretty faulty. I'm trying to patch things over right now, Nicole," His hand clutched at the ring in his pocket, and he pulled it out, keeping his hand fisted and the ring hidden from view. "and it's a two-person job in a relationship. I should've told you, though, I'm sorry."

Yes, Jay had always just pushed things behind him. He tried to push things behind him and start anew, but one can't just push such things away. They gnawed at him, they clawed at him, they tore him up inside. First his mother's death, and Jay took out his feelings on Jonah. Then Jonah died, so he did the same to Kurt. Then, he died. But, he couldn't do the same to Nicole. So, what could he do?

Jay cleared his throat noisily and pursed his lips. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. he thought, but tears were already spilling over his cheeks.

( OMG. Makes me sad. )

( D8 IS IT GONNA MAKE ME SAD TOO.
.. IT DID. )

Nicole inhaled sharply, and exhaled in the form of a shakey sigh. "You think I don't know our relationship has been faulty?" She asked, her voice perfectly acidic. Enough to burn, but not enough to kill. "I've been trying, too, Jay. From the start."

When Nicole saw Jay crying, her heart felt like it broke a little more. But she couldn't cry, it would seem like she was weak and felt bad for him, right? It didn't matter, because a tear slipped from her eye and ran down the side of her nose, and she promply wiped it away with the back of her palm.