( e.e Because. )

"And...there's nothing else." Jay sighed, then stopped at a stop sign. "Want me to take you home?"

( Sure. 8D )

"...I don't understand." Jay said, blinking at Nicole.

( "I've gotta get annoying, so, admit it my feiling won't be hurt." ...I don't understand. D: )

"I love you too." Jay mumbled. "But, honestly, I'd rather be around you than my friends right now. Because, you're right. We will do crazy things. The more depressed or angry we are, the more horrible the things we do get. They range from shoplifting to guns to drugs." He paused, blinking and thinking. "Okay, maybe we should go see them. They're lost and stupid without either me or Kurt, and I'm lost without either Kurt or Jonah. Too bad they're both dead."

( It was supossed to be her feillings. With the s. lol. )

Nicole slapped him on the arm gently. "I'm not going to let you reduse to drugs! I can't stand to see people I love stoop so low, much less, people that in in love with." Nicole scowled. "And I don't want you around guns, either." And she added in a mumble, "You have no Idea the kinds of things I would do with a gun If something happened to you." Nicole, silent now, reached over, and open the glove box, curious. She pulled the picture of Jay and his friends from it, and closed it again. She smiled softly as she used the pad of her thumb to wipe some food (Or atleast she thought it was food,) from the very corner. Awww, She thought.

( *feelings
I still don't understand. e.e
*reduce )

Jay flinched when Nicole slapped his arm. "Too late, Nicole." he said under his breath, then said louder, "Nicole... Besides Kurt, there's no one I can to talk to...anymore. Zooey was too young when I was younger, and Kurt was the only one who was there a couple years ago. I feel weird for asking this, since I usually prefer being asked to talk about something myself, but can I tell you something? I mean, about how my life was before I met everyone else...including you?"

( *pets Jay* o.o )

Jay swallowed, then took a deep, shaky breath in. "The only thing you know about Jonah is that he's mine and my sister's older brother. I think you've also got an idea formed in your head already that he had a lot of friends. And, it's true.

"Jonah was the only one who would try and help me out of my problems when everyone, including my father, had given up on me. Kurt and I came to the conclusion that the reason he wanted to help everyone who had a problem was because he used to be like me and Kurt. He was still a criminal, but no one exactly knew who he was, so no one could report him to the police. But, then again, he had gone to jail-slash-boot camp before, so..

"Kurt and I were only two of people Jonah tried to help. Unlike most others, some of us just couldn't keep our habits down. That includes me, Kurt, those guys that we saw at the bar, and even Jonah himself. To Jonah, comp*censored*ion was the answer to maybe everything. And at that, Jonah's favourite quote was, 'There is nothing heavier than comp*censored*ion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.' Some person named Milan Kundera said that.

"But, anyway, besides the bad things Jonah did, he was a really good person. The whole reason my friends and I aren't in jail is because of him. It was awful when he died. It was like motherfu.cking Pearl Harbor all over again...or something like that. And you know how people say that you never know what you've got until you lose it?" Jay sighed, taking a break for the first time in a while from speaking. "I know what I had now. I've still got you, Hayden-slash-Hideo, Oliver, Gage, and Zooey, but...I don't know if it's enough anymore."

( Whaddaya mean? o.o
*else
*speech )

Jay shook his head. "I don't know, Nicole. I always depend on others for answers to questions I alone can't answer. Why the hell do you think I liked Kurt so much?" He sighed and shook his head again. "Can we still go to the park?" he asked quietly.