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6:46pm Dec 7 2011 (last edited on 6:46pm Dec 7 2011)
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Normal User
Posts: 2,836
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O.o But still
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6:51pm Dec 7 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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Okay, maybe a little busy.I'm doing last minute Christmas shopping both on here and in real life. xD While studying for final exams, taking care of the pets, etc.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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9:45pm Dec 7 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 622
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Good luck! <333 I hope everything turns out in your favor. You deserve it.
(－_－) zzZ
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11:49pm Dec 7 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 670
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I was verbally abused by my aunt and uncle several ears ago, and once my aunt tried to choke me. I still break down if someone even starts to get mad at me, and if it's online, I want to go hide under a rock or something.
I've been engaged for almost a year and a half now and never told anyone until October, and I just a minute ago emailed my dad and told him. Everyone's taking the news really well except his parents, who are convinced I'm crazy just because I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Plus, I'm only 17, so people think I'm too immature...but really, he's the best thing to ever happen to me and I really don't know how I make it every day without him, considering he lives two hours away and I only get to see him once a month.
To top it all off, even though I know it's probably the worst choice to make right now, I kinda want a baby. I have no friends where I live now, and it's really lonely with my mom at work all day, leaving me stuck with the TV, a houseload of chores, and three cats.
I eat maybe one small meal a day, but that's because we can hardly afford food and can't apply for food stamps, since my mom makes so much. But with bills and college and everything, we have very little money for food. I've been nauseous the past four days from low blood sugar because I can't eat much.
And it goes on and on.
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10:05am Dec 8 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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I'm sorry to hear that.. :(
I can sort of relate to the whole engagement situation. His side of the family knew before my mom. And my mom reacted the exact opposite of how I think she would react. His family was ecstatic. My mom was absolutely enraged. She grew to accept it though.
I also want a baby; I'm around the same age as you when you got engaged. I'm 20 right now and we've been trying to get a baby since we got married. But I think the things I did in the past might be making it difficult.. Or it's just not the time yet.
That's not good.. D: College does take a large chunk of money out of life.. That sort of relates to me too. Because of college, we're just barely living in content. Meaning we eat what we have everyday (mainly ramen and sandwiches) and go grocery shopping once a month. And we haven't had the traditional church wedding yet either, so we're trying to save but tons of problems keep coming up.
i’m such a gamer uwu
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10:11am Dec 8 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 1,085
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Got a few myself, commonly known among friends IRL...
I can't eat any food mixed, can't handle different 'textures' while eating it quite literally makes me sick so due to that I don't eat any pizza's, hamburgers, taco night is my least favorite of all, this has been going on since day one apparently doesn't bother me but people find it strange.
I have a 'geographic tongue', a marking that shifts spots, it makes me go on and off certain foods, and I can't drink any fizzy drinks due to it being too painful, people also find that odd.
17 and still playing Pokemon games, I grew up with 'em.
Had a pokemon movie marathon the other weekend, because I felt like it.
Dragons, I believe they are real. They live in the Bermuda Triangle, or in the farthest reaches of the ocean and land. They have been in mythologies everywhere, from the ancient Mayans' in south america to medieval times in Europe, England, the Vikings depicted them, so have ancient chineese, even some eskimoes believe in dragons! They do NOT share the same structure as dinosaurs. Only naive people would say they do. Yet most people I describe this to think I'm joking, it's a laugh to them.
But they are out there somewhere I swear...
мα∂ηεss ωιℓℓ cσηsυмε үσυ...
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10:18am Dec 8 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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That's completely fine. xD I used to dislike mixing foods in another way. Like how you have a whole plate of foods like beans, rice, mashed potatoes, etc.. and mix them up. I used to avoid doing that because I liked to taste things individually. xD Now I just sort of eat whatever I can get.
Nothing's wrong with Pokemon games. x3 I would keep playing them but my PS3 is my main gaming system right now.
It's possible that they are real. They might have magical powers to cloak themselves. And they could be causing some natural disasters in the world. Elemental dragons. o3o
i’m such a gamer uwu
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3:42pm Dec 8 2011 (last edited on 3:47pm Dec 8 2011)
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Artist
Posts: 3,205
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im 19 and still play pokemon games and watch the anime me and my boyfriend might move in together one day, (when i finish collage) it might mean me having two jobs but its what we want :) |
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5:16pm Dec 8 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 17,364
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Still in the friend zone.
 \r\n |
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11:39pm Dec 8 2011
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Normal User
Posts: 4
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the important things i have to confess are definitely NOT site appropriate. but i'll be vague. xD
but i will say that i am getting back into being online all the time. and i feel a little too old to do it. i mean, i'm only 18 but i feel old. i'm doing what i did in middle school and shutting myself out from the real world the moment i get home.
i need an escape now from everything and everyone around me. i wish i could just runaway.
2011 has probably been my worst year ever. i've made so many bad choices, so many mistakes, and ruined so many relationships. it's funny how the people you think are your very closest friends and will be there for anything can drop you from their life in .02 seconds. when i try to get my life together i mess up again. i do another stupid thing. i like to think i learn from these choices i've been making, but realize each time that it's effecting me mentally and emotionally and probably making me just a little bit worse each time. i can't let go of anything, really.
and graveyardfox, doctors won't think you're just some druggie. you can't get a "weird fix" off of anti-depressants. xD they can sometimes make you more depressed and the full effects take at least a month to appear. i had to BEG my mom to let me see a psychologist because she didn't take my seriously even though she has the same exact problems as me. but i do have to say, you can't rely totally on anti-depressants to make you "happy".
if you really feel you need it because you're really going to hurt yourself, you need to keep convincing your mom to let you see someone. a therapist and psychologist. therapists will help you tell your dad (you could even bring him to the therapists office and the therapist would kind of be a mediator) and your own emotions.
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11:14pm Jan 2 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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This year officially already sucks.The person I love with all of my heart is abandoning me in all aspects. Physically and emotionally. Even though we're still married, he already found another girl.. Not only that, but he took all my gifts away. This probably will be taken to court..
i’m such a gamer uwu
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4:08pm Jan 3 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 1,269
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Ok um xD I suppose it's better to let it out. rn rn Firstly, I'm depressed. Not majorly, but still depressed. My parents don't understand what I'm going through with finals pressing down on me, how my ridiculous Social Studies teacher refuses to makes major test more than 20 questions long so that everyone fails, and they won't take in my opinions about my dad running off to China every 2 weeks. rn rn I've never told anyone that I quit dance class after 5 years solely because of my dad's decision to pretty much leave my mom. My parents are forcing me to apply for IB classes in September and they just don't GET it that I'm not allowed to take IB because of our residential district. My school counsellor was supposed to 'help' with my application forms but the due date is in 5 days and I don't think she's even gone over them. 12 hours of work wasted. rn rn Between homework, tests and reviewing, I have no time to finish my novel and get in touch with the publisher let alone book a flight to Vancouver to talk about a contract. I lock myself in my room during winter break and I never eat except for a bowl of rice at dinner. rn rn That's pretty much my confession ;~;
If you really cared about animals more than humans...kindly feed yourself to the next starving wolf.
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4:05pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 5:02pm Mar 28 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 2,043
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Uhm. Okay. my confession.
This is a great idea by the way.
There's this guy that i've been best friends since we were like, really young. We used to go to the same elementary school, and during the 7th or 8th grade I noticed that we were getting farther apart. He started spending less time with me and around me he seemed like he was trying to be cool or something, yelling at me and acting like he didn't like me but when it was just us two together, he was the same as he always was before. Now that we're both in the 10th grade, we barely even talk since we started high school and went to different schools. We get together occasionally and still see each other every sunday. And i miss him a lot.
But recently I found out that he cuts. and he was depressed and sometimes had suicidal thoughts. I suspect that he even went to the hospital after trying to kill himself. I figured this out accidentally - when i was in his room one day, hanging out with him, i came upon a piece of paper with multiple drawings on it of stuff i won't disclose. And also through other signs. It doesn't really make sense if I write it here. But. he doesn't know that i know about his... um. yeah. And i think that he doesn't even care about me anymore since we've grown so apart. I don't think I can tell him that I know because then he'll get so angry at me and i don't think he'll ever speak to me again. Sometimes he even stares at me like he hates me. It hurts.
Lately i've noticed how he always wears long sleeves and smiles rarely. I've been trying to cheer him up but i don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to him. I don't want to lose him and I just don't know what to do about it. and i just... I don't know. I've spent a lot of nights worrying about him and I don't think he even thinks about me anymore. Sometimes I can't even sleep because I don't want him to hurt anymore. And I just don't know what to do anymore and what to think of him. Its breaking my heart and I don't now how much more of this I can take. D: My heart hurts.
There. all done and said. That's pretty much it :) /long post. sorry.
  <---HA by shino || Buck by Zen---> |
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4:33pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 1,652
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Well, I guess these aren't really confessions, but its something close. I've got a lot on my chest, but I've got a feeling telling strangers isn't going to help me much. Hey, it's worth a shot, right?
Well, here it goes. I'm an Atheist. I guess I have been for quite a while, and although I told my family quite a while ago I haven't told anyone else. My Dad's a Christian. He doesn't attend church most of the time, but I don't think he needs to. Frankly, he believes, and that's all he has to do. Still, I have the feeling he was disappointed when I told them. My mom believes in God, too, and my little brother and sister follow suit. However, I don't. My parents seem to respect that, they haven't had any conversations about it in a long time. They didn't really say much in the first place. But it's just something I could put here, so others know. Also, I in no way disrespect others beliefs. Perhaps it's even good for you... but I just don't see it. I actually haven't thought about this in a while.
I believe that somewhere, there has to be alien forms of life. I mean, the word "universe" in and of itself means "eternal", or "infinite". I doubt we're alone in infinity. Will we ever encounter other forms of life? No. We probably won't even make it out of our solar system before we go extinct. But somewhere, primal or advanced, you have to admit the chances of us being alone are... minute. No, there have never been aliens on earth, and there probably never will be. But way, way out there, there has to be something more. Otherwise, it's kinda lonely.
I feel a little depressed. I won't go out and call it depression, nothing close. But I've always loved to draw. I've even picked up digital art not that long ago. Everything I've learned I've taught myself. But really, I suck. (I definitely do not want to be told I'm good, either. When I know I'm bad, and others say otherwise, it only makes me feel the worse. I really hate being lied to, even if it's to spare my feelings.) I'll always be trying to better myself, but what I'm doing looks horrid. I can only hope I get better someday, and practice until then. But for now, my work is crap. XD I guess I'll have to live with that.
I'm in the middle of writing several books, all of which will probably never be read by anyone else.
I'm home schooled. I literally have no friends. I haven't seen anyone outside of my family in months, and guess I'm not going to anytime soon. Although this is the most embarrassing I've ever admitted, I'm alone. I use the characters in my books to basically live out my life. Going through my teen years doesn't help, either. I lay up all night either thinking or writing, and can't do much other than daydream. My life doesn't have a lot of meaning, really. It's all like a trance, and I need to snap out of it.
Last, but not least, I need to get off Res and get my grades up. In fact, I'd better go do that now... *is four weeks behind*
Well, there you have it. The random-whiny-things-I've-never-told-anyone. But first, I've got a little more to say.
***
Spazzy, I'm terribly sorry about your husband. I've read about that on your blog, and a few other places, and I can't tell you how bad I feel for you. I've never gone through anything like that, but I can sympathize. I'm not the best for advice, but I hope you can pull through it. If you gave him the chances you did, and he still walked away, then he doesn't deserve your love. I hope the pain is fast to fade, and you find someone better. Someone who might treat you like you deserve to be treated.
And Graveyard, you have the right to love whoever you want to. I'm straight, yes, but I imagine that love comes in all forms. If you're in love, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, not even me. I say to go for it. Anyone who doesn't approve doesn't matter. It's hard, with all of you, to show my sincerity. After all, I'm a random kid from the internet. But I assure you, even through the useless squiggles we interpret as thoughts, I mean it. Good luck to you both.
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5:32pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 5:34pm Jan 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 2,043
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Spazzy; That's terrible! I'm so sorry. I know a lot of people have said this already, but. He doesn't deserve someone as great as you :) THis might not mean much because i'm just some random person on the internet, but I can sympathize. I wish you the best in the future <3
timber: I know how it feels. My parents always don't really understand how i cope with stress and school work, especially during exam time. They pressure me to get out of my room and go do something else and get angry at me for not having time to practice instruments. and some of the teachers at my school show obvious favouritism and its just not fair. The tests also differ a lot between two teachers teaching the same class, and while one class excels, another fails horribly.
Cort: I get what you mean about digital art. I only recently started as well. And i hate when people say its good and I know its not. Like they're just trying to please me. Really, constructive criticism would be more helpful. And cort, the things you've said aren't whiny <3 if you ever want someone to read your books, i'm free!
<---HA by shino || Buck by Zen---> |
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7:04pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 3,809
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Blaze, Ty thinks you shouldn't say anything-yet-, but she thinks you should do something. You think he doesn't care about you anymore? It could be the same for him, thinking you don't care. After all, if you think about him, the chances are he thinks about you. And even if he doesn't, doesn't the fact that you do mean anything? You need to tell him you think you're growing apart, and make sure you pull together again. Tell him you never see each other anymore. Say you should hang out some time, go to each other's houses, the cinema, skatepark, something. You should talk like you used to, enjoy being friends again...
I mean, I'm a girl, and you're guys. Things might be a little different, but that's what I'd do. Besides, I don't think I'm so different from guys as it is.
Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
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7:20pm Jan 4 2012 (last edited on 7:20pm Jan 4 2012)
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Normal User
Posts: 2,043
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ahh, thanks yt ^^ i wrote him a letter for Christmas, and I kinda said something like that, but since then we've talked even less. asdf so awkward D: ANyways. new confession.
Like it says on my profile, I'm a girl (in the text box, lol) ^^ I accidentally clicked the male box instead. And that's kind of embarrassing. xD Sorry for any confusion there xD!
<---HA by shino || Buck by Zen---> |
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7:34pm Jan 4 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 3,809
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ROFLMAO. As the discussion in the sb said. You most definitely are the ONLY person cabable of doing something like that. XD -makes a mental note to ask staffers about that- On another note, Ty has been mistaken for a male on three different occasions in the last month. And those are only the ones she knows about. |D
Well now. I should... Probably put something intelligent here. At some point. Eventually.
...
... Screw it. HYE. ♥
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7:07pm Jan 15 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 4,893
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Confession by an anonymous:
I am Agnostic, borderline Atheist. When I saw Lady Gaga's music video for 'Judas' it made me learn a little about religion and the Illuminati. I don't worship Satan either. The reason for myself being Agnostic/Atheist is because you cannot really prove that there is 'God' or 'Jesus' or the 'Holy Spirit'. In my eyes, it is a story (The bible of course) that has been passed down for generations. You can't really prove who created the Earth and everything. Sure scientists have found artifacts from years and years and years ago but how can those artifacts prove who exactly had created the world? I don't talk about my religion with my family. We don't go to church but my family is Christian/Baptist. I feel that I would be treated very differently if I were to tell them of my religion. The only people that really know are a few of my friends. But the two people who know the whole story are my best friend and my boyfriend. The past years you could say that things have been tough. Where was 'God' when I had prayed? He hadn't answered anything. Now, I haven't spoken to half of my family in over a year. They've practically abandoned us. I really don't know what to believe without proof. It gets really awkward when I go to a church. I went to one before Christmas and that's the first time I've been to one I think. From what I remember. This guy pretty much said the same thing that I had. And the priest had said that you have to have faith. But how can you just have faith when there's nothing there?
i’m such a gamer uwu
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7:46pm Jan 15 2012
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Normal User
Posts: 2,043
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To anonymous:
i know how you feel, I felt the exact same way a little while back. But i guess the only thing that really got me through that err, point, in my spiritual life was just the verse "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what we do not see." And i get how it's really difficult to get a firm grasp on religion without having the security of knowing that it is true or not because there's no way you can really prove it. But that's just faith, i guess. (not meaning to sound like the priest)
There might not seem to be anything there, but when i think about all the things that have happened to me, good and bad, and when i felt like God wasn't answering my prayers, that he was ignoring me, that he let my grandma die, and then all the other good things like not being hurt in a high-speed car crash on the highway the other day (which was kinda unlikely) I just can't help but think that somehow there's gotta be a reason for all this and that God has a plan for me.
I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I just wanted to voice my.. err.. thoughts? about this. :)
<---HA by shino || Buck by Zen---> |
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