I'm not fond of the light in the first one, second ones pretty good. The overall style is too messy and confusing for my liking, Sorry. -.-;
Oh yeah, I can give you a few handy hints with these things. If you want the MS Paint look, use paint tool sai. There's a tool called the Binary tool that allows you to paint like it's on MS Paint, but you can use layers and all those things. Get a free trial here